The following trip description relates to pharmahuasca experience I had several weeks ago. This experience stands out with particular clarity, as it amounted to the most intense, terrifying and meaningful experience of my life to date. As someone who has engaged in high risk sports all my life in the form of skydiving and mountain climbing, and having on at least half a dozen occasions an extremely close brush with death, I can say this about that particlar trip without exageration or pretense.
I have remained perplexed and baffled as to the reasons why that one trip went the way it did. Though " set and setting" likely played the major part, as did my choice of traveling companion.
I have since learned, that I may smoke DMT " on a whim" and get away with it. It is quite definitely not wise to do pharmahusaca on a whim. It needs reflection and preparation.
The dosage was, I thought, in the comfortable range for my particular tolerance to this substance ( which is very sensitive) 50-70mg DMT and 350mg x10 Perganum harmala extract. Prepared and consumed as a hot sugared tea for the rue and a lemon juice disolve of the DMT freebase some 15 minutes later. There may have been inaccuracies in the dosing, 110-130mg was split into two portions, one for me the other for my co-traveller. I may have accidently overdosed myself, while underdosing my companion.
To put this experience in it's particular context, I have to provide a brief introduction to my travelling companion . She is someone I met just 3 months prior, a 28 year old native of the Dominican Republic and of hispanic-African decent. Beautiful and intelligent but sadly from lack of basic education and subsequent opportunities chose a line of work in the worlds oldest profession. Now I'm not a superstitious person, nor one prone to mystical intrigues of one sort or another, but the first time we met I felt hidden aspects of her personality ( call it aura, karma or whatever) contained astoundingly similar qualities to that of the hyperspace entities I routinely meet on my travels, these are somewhat unique traits, and I have not seen them in any living organism before. Suffice to say I remained intrigued..... Some very well handled 40mg + smoking sessions confirmed to me that she was a suitable candidate for a Pharma experience.
The trip.
Laying side by side comfortably clothed and with a suitable distance between us conducive to traveling in peace and solitude, we wait in semi darkness, not a word is exchanged . I'm very impressed with the way this "novice" is behaving. Some light hypnagogic immagery starts at the half hour mark, but it's mild and I'm wondering if this is going to develop any further when I start to feel that special energy so characteristic of pharma.
My head appears to expand into a large cave space which slowly begins to light up with a not yet definable activity, there is some audio coming in now which is seperate from the music in the background, a rythmic tschkk, tschkk, tschkk like that sound of cicadas or crikets, I can really feel the DMT energy coming on as my heart rate notably quickens For the first time in 50mins, she moves briefly over to me and presses her head against mine before quickly moving away again. Why did she do that? I think to myself, when almost on cue I sense an abrupt change , like a very mischievous dmt entity has penetrated my skull from the outside via her body. It's quite clear to me that this entity has all those hidden characteristic traits of my co-traveller that I'd been pondering about previously, joyous, manic, magical, hyperactive, playfully sadistic..
Another naughty entity has taken on a quite visual aspect, a stunning crystaline Ruby coloured Baphomet riding a beautifull jewel encrusted translucent jet ski. Back and forth through the huge multicoloured neon lit cave space he weaves, malice and bad intent are clear to see. I understand instantly his every thought and he mine.
This is what we've been waiting for, now you are fully in our power ", the plural now meaning the jet ski baphomet joined by the malcious Voodo-like sub-spirit of my co-traveler. I'm thinking, shit, this is way too intense and very unusual and I'd prefer it to peak right here, but no...
From the vast expanse of the neon lit cave with it's attendant entities I am pushed through a kind of tunnel, this tunnel has similarities with a deep underground tube train. It zooms forward, stops, zooms forward again.Each time it moves forward, I feel myself further removed from any kind of reference reality, If I'd of been thrown out in the cosmos, I'd of had a sort of reference. No, this was an ultimate destination, I was being transported into the nucleus of an atom, not even that, to some as yet undiscovered time warped invisble space, the space between nothingness . Here I would stay, alone and terrorised by manic Voodoo entities and utterly desperate for all eternity. Somehow I just allowed myself to be taken along, I didn't resist for fear of even more panic. At each stop the entities would converse with me telepathically, " You don't want to get off ? no? we are impressed!, but lets see what's next"..., and whoosh off I'd be carried deeper into hidden spaces..The strange thing being that these entities despite having complete control of me were merely subordinates to some other infinitely more powerful presence that I could vaguely sense but knew would never see.
And then my friends I finaly snapped, I couldn't take anymore, I briefly held on to the thought that I myself wouldn't subject, Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot or any other evil mass murderer to such an ordeal.
With a will of iron I pulled myself off the bed and crawled into the ensuite bathroom. The whole room warping and buzzing with neon pink and blue fractals. Tried puking but to no avail. dragged myself out again, collapsed on the floor and hung on for dear life. Then as the trip peaked and began dropping off in intensity, the full thrust of the message dawned on me. Yes life!, organic life, this meat package I wear is such a precious state, to be valued and cherished every day of my brief earthly sejour.
My co traveller much to my suprise had only a mild trip, a blessing in a way, as no beginner should be subject to that. In the days, weeks afterwards I had a special appreciation for life. It had proved to be cathartic and enlightening. Not something I could do again so soon at that intensity level, but definitely worthwhile.