Greetings Nexus,
Its been quite a while since my last post. I've had quite a bit going on in my life over the past year or so. I'll try to condense it into a nutshell so you can kind of see my current stance.
A few months ago I moved across the country from NY to AZ do to financial problems and breaking up with the love of my life (we broke up a while ago but continued to see each other, just less. We broke up after about 2 years when my DMT/Ayahuasca/Weed use "suddenly" became a problem. I told her flat out from the beginning "this is not a phase for me"
any ways...
Since I moved to AZ I got involved with a couple of shamanic meditation groups, which is where I met my first(and only)friend(at the moment). He connected me with the aya group (song circle), which is 6 hours away.
I was fairly nervous going solo on a trip where I didn't know any one (especially due to the circumstances), but when I arrived at the location every one was quite friendly and made me feel right at home.
There was no real shaman who led the group, but the host and leader of the ceremony had been working with a shaman on an island (just trying to be discreet with details and respect his privacy)for the past couple of years. He is prob in his mid 40s or early 50s, He's a tall man with a large stature and deep voice. He holds quite a presents and is very knowledgeable and wise.This aya circle is three years old and seems to have developed beautifully.
The host of the ceremony actually brewed the aya on the island with the shaman and shipped it home. He got to go thru the whole process of gathering the leaf and vine, cleaning and preparing it.
FF>>
The ceremony started a little late. Every one (about 25 of us) had to change and make their spot comfortable. We all wore white (which I thought was odd, but could see the reasoning behind it). There was also a ceremony within the ceremony called a Despacho Ceremony. Which is like an offering of flowers and incense. One of the facilitators (who does work with shaman) passed out 3 roses to each of us. And what we did with those was thru out the ceremony, pluck 3 pedals, hold those like a hand of cards over your heart and pray to/on them. You would then bring it up to the "shaman" and he would make a mandala from the pedals. - I'll get back to the Despacho in a bit-
The ceremony started of with smudging, stretching, and prayer. In the inner circle, in the center of the room, is where the "shaman" and musicians sat. There were a couple of guitars and percussion instruments in the group. Many of the songs were in a call and response format, primarily in Portuguese, but there were also Hebrew and English songs worked in as well. All were excellent musicians.
Sometimes between songs the "shaman" would say a few inspirational words.
Thru out the ceremony I drank 4 cups of ayahusca. The first two were from a less potent batch. The purpose of that was just to get the spirit running thru you and so that every one could participate in group singing and be one together.
The third cup started the next phase of the ceremony. This is where the Despacho concludes. The mandala was put together on a large sheet of paper, when complete, it was neatly folded up and brought outside. Every one was poured a cup and followed. We stood shoulder to shoulder around a fire (hot coals)in silence watching the Despacho start to ignite and burn, while we felt the energy of each other and the earth as we held our intentions/prayers.
We then went back inside to our places and laid back. There were no more songs to sing at that time, but there were soft guitars playing in the background. Since the brew recipe was stronger in this cup, I really felt the medicine working and coming on stronger. My body started to buzz and soon after that is when the visuals started coming. It started off light with some green swirls and lines, then started adding in more colors, blues and reds. And then geometric shapes followed by a pulsating tear drop shape with layered waves of blue and green.
I heard a couple of people walking around the room so I looked up to see what was going on. (There must have only been about a half dozen of us still awake at that point)The "shaman" had a few people in front of him as he poured another cup.
Needless to say I was able to go a little deeper after that cup. Faces and eyes were popping in and out of the constant flowing geometric curtain. And at one point a face that I thought was mine appeared. It looked holographic. And then it was like a camera kept flashing stills of my face in different extreme emotional expressions. And as the face changed, there were what looked to be fingers made of vines wrapping around it...idk.
Then the purge finally came. Only a few people purged thru out the night and I was one of them. It felt very cleansing and refreshing to puke out all of the negative energy and stress that I've been carrying with me these past several months.
Once I got cleaned up and back to my spot (after tripping over a singing bowl, which was quite humorous in a silent room
,I laid there reflecting on the experience, feeling the aya fade.
When everyone woke up in the morning we closed the ceremony with a few songs and a prayer followed by people sharing what they went thru. Followed by breakfast.
This was an amazing experience for me. I feel re inspired and motivated to work with DMT/Aya again. I took a bit of a break for a few months...And now I've made a few new friends and I was invited to come back
If you are still reading this, thank you. I know it was kind of long, and I'm not exactly a poet
L+G
Soulshine
The tragedy of life isn't that it's too short, it's that we take too long to begin it...
-NO TURN UNSTONED-
"Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in !!!"
"Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity" - Pema Chodron