I find myself interested in the study of the effects. Dwelling on them and trying to contemplate their meaning. Reflecting on past experiences. Collecting books, and wares for extraction. Re-listening to favorite psychedelic author's lectures. Thinking about the nature of reality, and what tripping is all about, how far I can go...

But...

Sitting on a stash for months and months and not touching it, not knowing when or if I will, don't really want too...

I guess you just have to integrate your past experiences. What's wrong with that? Sounds pretty healthy if you ask me.

That's great!

I see that as you having respect for the awesome power of this chem, not just an interest in consuming it to get as fucked up as a mind can!

I'll extract 100gm of MHRB, yield 1.0-to-0.9gm of clean spice & that may last me 3-to 6 months!!
Even when sharing a lot with friends.

Like everything in life, if you make it a regular thing, it just becomes mundane & normal.

Right-On Spock!!

WS

Most are not as interested in the profound consciousness changing effects, as they are in just how utterly alien the whole experience is.

And I guess saying "a lot" sounded like a bit larger of a circle than I meant.
I have like 3-to-4 pals that I share with here & there, the one who was really interested in it the way I am, moved to another state awhile back.
But I do enjoy turning others on to DMT!!

WS

For me, smoked DMT is like this mysterious book that I've got sitting over on my bookshelf. I've read the first few chapters several times. I've found that I sense their meaning to be profound, but I find myself unequiped to decipher it. I've skimmed thru the rest of the book and listened to other ecentric folks that have bothered to look within speak of it. I've experienced the first few chapters, and gathered the reports of others that seem to have delved further in. I've learned I'll encounter further incomprehensibility if I continue. Knowing that possibility disinterests me in re-reading what I've allready repeatedly reviewed, I want to move ahead. But upon contemplating encountering even greater mind bending profundity if I do so, and the consequence of becoming even more befuddled, I think, "Spock's brain has other things to focus on..." So the book awaits...
(and the title of the book is turned against the back of the bookshelf to guard it's secrets against just anyone's wandering gaze...

NICE!!

I sometimes want to go to the "place", but it just does not feel right. Usually when I go ahead & do some anyway, I don't reach breakthrough anyway...
So I wait until I feel that "drive" to explore again! Sometimes that's once a week, other times I'll only smoke spice once in three months. Goes in spurts for me.

WS

It's because I know, that next time I go, I'm going FULL BORE, summoning God is the goal (or something of that magnitude.)

Don't think summoning will work, but if you are looking to merge with The Creator, do not be afraid, It is lookimng for you as well. The experience is few and far between, but often once is enough. Do not be afraid, when you are ready it will come to you, and you'll be changed forever.