i mean it!

lol it used to be so easy. Now its been months.
I get all crazy when I get my kit out now. Don'r even
get to load it before I quit........Just being on the nexus
is giving me butterflys. lol.

I feel you, I really do. I did DMT several times a week for close to a year and started to slow down. Now it has been about 4 months since I've indulged but yet I think about it everyday. Driving in my car, listening to music, thinking about DMT! All the damn time. The closest I get to doing DMT recently has been coming on the nexus and helping others and looking at questions. I have some just sitting around waiting for me but I don't have the courage to do it yet. I keep thinking the time is soon but it never comes. But I can rest assured that it will be there when I really need it

No worries, we've probably all been there :]

In general it seems that as the time between the last dmt experience grows, so does ones trepidation. i mean, the most ready i ever am to go in deep is usually on my way out, lol

low doses are excellent for this sort of situation though. maybe try a light dose of changa and do some yoga...especially with some music you really like. or just dance. or meditate. or all three

Universecannon I totally agree with you. I am always so afraid and then when I'm on my way back I am always thinking "what the hell was I afraid of! Lets get a larger dose!"

Share with you on this one... anxiety isn't even the right word.. xD Conquer your fear, extinguish the consuming fire and dive in to the ashes

It in fact does seem easier the closer the journeys are together. The more infrequent they are, the more hesitation and pre-flight anxiety seem to come into play.

Im the opposite in some ways..I cant load my pipe and NOT then hit it..regulardless of the fear and all these thoughts that i should just do something else instead. I can't remember ever loading my pipe deciding to do this and then not doing it.

Im still apprehensive everyt time though..and have simply just stopped smoking for like 6 months before and only used oral dosing becasue of how fast and pointless smoking can be at times.

I am still sort of on the fence as to how relevant smoking is for my life. I mean it is useful but there is also these times I just feel like it's less than what I need and I just srot of freak out..the other times are the extreme opposite. Oh well. Oral is for life..smoking might be lol.

yeah I agree I didn't smoke dmt for almost a year and I remember just before I did I would avoid all chances of smoking due to fear. I remember my buddy and I had a real light sesh smoking chang all night, nothing to serious or intense started so light you could just feel a thing and increased. I found this helped a lot reintroducing it and helping to beat the fear.

Indeed Tupo. Many find it helpful to take a light dose to get them "warmed up" and a little acclimated to the space before going for broke, and this can help in leagues in pre-flight anxiety.

As brujo Don Juan Matus said in "A Separate Reality", by Carlos Castaneda........

"Don't think about your fear, think about the wonders of seeing"!

Seems like a healthy respect and response to me! When I loaded my first breakthrough dose with the proper vape device I was so nervous my hand was sweaty and shaky and I must have picked up and put that damn torch down about a dozen times. Every time I went to click that torch my heart would pound to where I could hear it... I finally centered myself, gave me, myself and I a pep talk "this can't hurt you, why be afraid of the thing you think about day in and out" then I ripped it and it was grand. The minute the ride began, 0 fear.

To me the fear is a patina. I kinda had this mental deadline
for the 21st. Now that its past i feel much better about waiting till
I am ready. Dmt works for a really long time after you take it.
Its really quiet. To me anyway.