Evening Nexians,

While looking over various thread on the boards I came across this thread : https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/d...aspx?g=posts&t=33064

Un-known-Ome's experience reminded me so much of my own one and only Salvia experience that I thought I would share. I first heard of Salvia maybe 8 years ago after reading an article in a local publication. The article outlined a legal hallucinogen being sold at our local smoking supply shop. I was intrigued. Foolishly, I did no research went straight to the shop and purchased a small packet of 25x Salvia. The shop keepers final words "this isn't a party drug man" basically fell on deaf ears. After all how powerful could it be if it's openly sold in a local shop. I figured it was likely on par with herbal ecstasy products or legal herb products being sold. Little did I know.

I immediately went to a friends told what I had bought and what it SUPPOSEDLY was. I loaded a large bowl, not even considering dosage. This was a legal high after all and in my mind likely a joke. God I wish I knew then what I know now about safe, responsible practices when exploring new substances.

I took two, long hits off the pipe and was launched into the only horrific trip of my life, ever. Very similarly to in-known-ome the trip involved very little classic hallucinations. It was much more a cognitive or delusional hallucination. I immediately forgot I had taken a drug. The universe for me was also spinning in on itself but again this was a thought not a perception. Somehow I was positive, beyond a shadow of a doubt that the universe was carpet. A carpet that was at that moment being rolled up and finished the universe and myself would cease to exist. I was frantic, horrified and screaming "I don't want to!!!". The only actual hallucinating I can recall was the cartoon characters on tv prior to my launch were now paying attention to me and telling me it was ok, it was ok the universe carpet was rolling up and my existence with it.

At this point my friend, seeing my utter and sheer terror started telling me it was ok however I perceived this as him saying "it's ok the universe is ending and me with it". In response I kept asking him "is it going to hurt" in sheer terror. I finally laid down on his area rug, succumbing to his statement that it was ok, succumbing in my mind to the end of me and the end of everything.

I don't think I laid on that carpet long before my normal frame of mind began to return and I realized I had taken salvia and I was ok. My friend was completely freaked, I was still completely freaked. I flushed that packet down the toilet and have never tried Salvia again.

Despite this horrific experience, Salvia taught me some valuable lessons. First and foremost to respect the plant allies placed in our path and those sought out. It taught me to learn, study and prepare (as much as anyone can) before seeking out other realms. It taught me to have knowledgable sitters so to avoid doing possible emotional harm to to those with me.

In the years since I have read many trip reports of people who experience these powerful delusions. People who have no idea they have taken salvia while in its thralls. People who experience, in a frightening way the concept of disintegration of self in a very frightening way. The commonality of experiencing this sense of self disintegration, ego disintegration is fascinating. I even read a report years ago where someone else reported the exact same delusion on salvia, of being rolled into a carpet and being dissolved in terror.

Perhaps, here in the nexus I will gain insight and strength and again dance with the lady. Approaching her respectfully and in increments may be the key. However it will be hard to get over my PTSD (Post Traumatic Salvia Disorder). I think perhaps this experience has been a barrier when letting go with DMT and has been my barrier to allowing myself to breakthrough. I am terrified of feeling that complete sense of loss of control and fear of ego death. I don't know if DMT ego death is perceived or can be perceived in a similar way but the idea it could is terrifying.

Anyways that's my story. I'd love to hear of others who have had been similarly terrified and how they overcame their own Post Traumatic Salvia Disorder.

I notice that I tend to respond to a lot of these types of threads. In part, I think it's the same thing in me operating that slows down going by a car accident. Salvia can be like that.

I also suffered from PTSD (post traumatic salvia disorder, good one ). However, my traumatic experience didn't happen until I'd had over a dozen experiences of varying intensities. My very first, at the age of eighteen, caused my first ever ego-loss. All residue of my personal history, and of the universe at large was erased, and what was left was a series of towers stretching into infinity, each one divided into floors, each floor with a tiny silhouette figure operating indescribable extra-dimensional machinery.

When I returned to my conventional self, I was blown away, but not scared.

Six months later, after a psyche-shattering mushroom trip my emotions were a complete mess, and there was a despair that followed me no matter what I did. In desperation, I decided to take tiny doses of Salvia in the hopes that the antidepressant effects would help. While a very stupid idea, it actually worked. After I exhaled the first cloud of 5x, the depression lifted completely and never returned.

But I continued my Salvia use, with increasingly promising results. Then, one night, I tried out a new pipe. I torched a pinch of 5x and, next thing I knew, I was dying. I knew instantly exactly what I'd done, and I tried with all my might to sit up from the couch and run. But it was no good, the universe was becoming a mosaic of patterned tiles, and as I was included in those tiles, I was taken apart. I'd compare the emotion and sensation as something like a drowning man looking up at the surface of the water and screaming futilely, watching his whole existence disappear as his consciousness fades out.

But the most terrifying thing of all was how familiar it all was, it was like this had happened a million times before. The game of being some particular human was over again. I remember my last thoughts were simply the word "No!" being repeated over and over again.

What happened after that is very strange. It occurred on a scale of time that seemed much vaster than my eighteen years on Earth. Suddenly, there was a story playing out. Everything was entirely two dimensional, there was nothing to suggest there was or ever had been a "third dimension." The tiles that made up the world included a few shapes which were actually conscious beings. They were inside a larger shape, a house, looking for a secret compartment in one of the tiles within it.

Then, slowly, I started to come back and it was like I was rolled back together and out of the salvia world back into my room. I jumped off of the couch and ran downstairs. I was operating on pure instinct at that point. For about an hour, I felt like some part of me was still, somehow, in the salvia dimension. Like I was aware of a space I hadn't been previously. Finally, I lay down on my bed and realized how thankful I was to be alive and a deep relief rushed over me.

I smoked a little bit of Salvia a month later, just to prove to myself that I wasn't scared of it I guess. (I was, of course.) Then, I smoked some plain leaf two years later but was too scared to go very deeply with it.

Finally, determined to put my fascination with this plant to rest, I quidded some leaves over a month ago. I worked through the heart palpitations and relaxed into it. Nothing particularly intense happened, but finding the willingness in myself to explore that space was great. When the effects tapered off, I felt like I'd overcome a deep lingering anxiety.

Now, I have no desire to ever touch this plant again. It's served its purpose in my life already.

I tried some salvia recently, the experience was eerily similar to what I've read here. It was not at all pleasant but not so bad that I'd call it traumatic, just certain that I'm glad it's over. I had the feeling of being disassembled, or rather 'unzipped' in my case. It seemed like my whole existence was something that had become something like a zipper, and that I was being undone in an 'unzipping' motion. The best I can describe it that it had a certain "Sesame Street" vibe but not at all benevolent. Not sure if it's the Muppets or Sesame street, but remember the alien characters? All they said was Meep meep meep... imagine they had created a character in that same spirit that was an anthropomorphic zipper, but just rather stupid and monsterous, just wanting to feed. I felt like my entire existance had been reduced to this. Every thought I came up with was pigeon-holed into this context, and disposed of in turn.

I was frantically trying to regain normal consciousness because this seemed like such a stupid way to die, although I also felt a bit cowardly for running away from something that seemed very real, back to an illusionary life. I eventually remembered that I had taken something but I couldn't say what it was. It occurred to me that if I could think of the name of what I had taken I could prove that the zipper world was not real. Kind of a Rumpelstiltskin scenario. After some struggling I was finally able to come up with the name 'salvia divinorum', and I was basically back.

I felt as if I had been rolling over and over on the ground but when I woke up I was still sitting in the same place so I suppose that was just the 'unzipping' impression. I was sweating profusely. It was warm outside and I had been running earlier, because running always puts me in a good mood, I though it would help with my mindset. But when I woke up all I wanted to do was rush back inside and cool down. For the next hour or so I had this great urge to reaffirm my consciousness by stimulating my senses. I ate some salty chips, drank a coke, and turned on the tv, Austin Powers was showing which was perfect. This just seemed like the thing to do.

So all in all, I have no need to ever try it again, but I do feel particularly glad to be alive after that.

It is the most powerful entheogen I have ever encountered, and one of my favorites. The power of it, combined with people approaching it like they would 5ht psychedelics puts many people off..this will sound arrogant but most people I know have no idea how to use this plant..and even with experience with other psychedelics in a respectful mannor etc you just cant know how to approach this plant until you have a certain ammount of experience. It took me probly 25 times or so to figure out a proper way to work with it. That panick feeling where you think your busted reality etc..I figured out what that was about (to some degree, its still weird) and so that part I can deal with more..and actaully seek it out at times because it's facinating. Salvia is some kind of space-time alteration device I think.

This plant holds a special secret though..

It is one of the hardest shamanic plants to work with becasue of it's combined nature and power..but it also opens up a space that is just unbelievable.

Jamie, you should write some sort of salvia guide.. you seem to have a lot of good advice about it. just a thought.. a lot of people might benefit from it as you see these kinds of reports too often with this plant

Ive only smoked salvia D about 12 times now..
The very first time i smoked some 60x i was imeadiatly drawn into a totaly diferent world of colorful floating and bending objects and when i found myself there all i could say was ..[I LOVE THIS PLACE!]
As I continued to smoke 40x 20x and 60x i seemed to gain more respect for the plant each time i smoked it..
But i must admit I havent gone any farther than stage 3 so far ..
[the light visionary stage],,
My goal is stage 4 which will come...
I have never expected a party drug effect from salvia and thus it has never scared me away from it..
Ive shown salvia respect and it has very gentle with me so far..
Im shure salvia in higher doses is capable of putting one into an awesome dream state..
What ive experianced so far.. apears not to be a model of this waking every day world!
What ive seen and felt so far.. seems like something as old as time itself..
A world with no beginning or end.. a jorney into an inner world of symbols colors and emotions..
And always the beings are there!.. observing me ..and the feeling of my personality being scattered across a strange timeless universe..
Myself..I feel the pressence of these beings in a comforting way ..as they always seem to understand and protect me during the trip...
I am not looking for a party experiance on salvia.. I want to explore the world inside me and gain knowlege about things that i value far more than a bunch of sily laughing and screaming that goes on during partys...
I just ordered some [mexican sweet leaf salvia] for the purpose of oral use...

Salvia can be very rewarding in more serious ways if its respected and used wisely...
If one does salvia with fear in their mind ..that emotion may cause a bad trip..
Set and setting is important..