Hello DMT Nexus!
I am a proud new registrant to the DMT Nexus and would like to thank the community for its positive services and hospitality.
SWIM extracted DMT many months back and would like to share his experiences with it. His first real trial was conducted with a very poor set and setting in a vacant parking lot behind some rundown buildings whilst lying in the back of a friend's van. Everything about the environment was wrong, as you can imagine. The trip was not a breakthrough, but it was the first time SWIM had experienced something so powerful, foreign and immersive. SWIM failed to keep his eyes closed and was distracted by his friends quietly chatting nearby. The overhead car lights and the noise of the local town and passing train all contributed to a negative, however not altogether frightening, experience.
For months since SWIM has had a strong fear of DMT. Smelling his cache of the substance elicited distinct sensory memories of the DMT experience. Averse to venturing back into that highly energized and scarily real state, SWIM lingered as if around the base of a giant roller-coaster. The acts of preparing the pipe and smoking were like being chained into the ride's seat and slowly lifted to the peak, ready to take off. The thought of smoking to SWIM was as nerve-wracking and frightful as that moment when you summit that peak and begin to plunge down the track. Because of this, SWIM avoided DMT for months.
Recently, SWIM was drawn again to the idea of a second attempt. Fear took hold as usual, but he decided he had to conquer it - alone. Not with a friend nearby this time, SWIM was determined to witness the face of DMT again and defeat the forces that had been holding him back. With attention to set and setting, this showdown was done in his private, comfortable and quiet room, with lights down and listening to a gentle track of monks chanting the mantra, "Om," repeatedly with good earbuds. Things were ready and he managed to take his three hits. The familiar experience took hold and SWIM says things were largely the same, except not polluted by a negative environment. Triumphant and relieved to have done it, SWIM was happy to find his fears totally gone. With a new grasp on the experience and fresh excitement about its potential, SWIM reentered nearly an hour late and went further. Both trips were positive and sometimes euphoric.
SWIM cannot recall much about the trips nor describe well what he does remember. The second of those trips left him with the image of an environment completely filled with bright pinkish and yellow light in geometric patterns. This, he interprets, is the sort of 'chrysanthemum' waiting room or barrier just before breaking through. SWIM never experienced himself be launched through that room into any kind of large dome-like arena and has never seen beings or felt any intelligences.
SWIM wants to know those remote spaces of DMT. That was his purpose all along: to achieve direct experience of the 'magic' of this psychedelic rather than let other people tell him what it is or isn't. SWIM believes he is mentally prepared, but suspects his smoking practice and apparatus are causing inefficiency (lighter flame to DMT in a makeshift bong). The quality of the DMT is unknown though not believed to be totally pure. Therefore SWIM never bothered to measure dose, reassured the LD50 was sufficiently high so as not to worry. Additionally, Terence McKenna once recommended one try to instead smoke as much as he or she can before it sets in because it's safe and a surefire way of breaking through. SWIM smoked a good-sized bit but did not break through.
SWIM would appreciate feedback on the best way to breakthrough, how to prepare for a breakthrough and how to interpret and integrate one's B.T. experience into normal consciousness. SWIM would also love feedback from others' first experiences with DMT and if they had similar fears. If so how did they deal with them? He feels it was very beneficial to have broken free from his fears the way he did, however he wonders if a breakthrough will present its own challenges.
Thanks and apologies for a thread that may seem to lack clear intent. SWIM really felt he had to recount his experiences and what stage he's at now.
-Rider