Figured I'd might as well post this in here instead of wait for access to the Mushroom forum, hope that's okay
So the other week I tried mushrooms for the first time with a friend. Up till that moment, the only other psychoactive I had taken - aside from cannabis - was salvia. Having built up mental preparation over the last year or so, we decided to finally go for it (being kindly gifted a bunch by a friend was also another prompt that the time was nigh). We each had about 26 psilocybe semilanceata, or libery caps, and decided to go for a walk. This was at about 11am. We live in quite a rural area so nature was abundant. We headed on to some nearby woodland, which took about 20 minutes to get there, as the effects of the mushrooms were slowly beginning to creep up on us. This woodland area is gorgeous; very low trees all perfectly aligned with one another, a gentle mist crawling above, soft soil and - coincidentally (hilariously so at the time) - a home to several families of mushroom. On top of that, it had rained the previous night, so in the distance you could hear echoes of water still falling from the branches.
We sat down in the middle of all of this as I felt a gentle wave of wonderful contentment, comfort and joy hit me. It was a lovely time. I'm not sure how long we were there - perhaps about 30 minutes - but I had begun to anthropomorphise things in my head, the most prominent one being a little leaf I found on the ground who looked like some kind of dancer with the way it had physically grown. So I made up this whole story in my mind that she just wanted to dance, but her time was up and she had to retire, having already danced all the way down the tree (otherwise she wouldn't have been on the ground in the first place). Noticed I gave it a gender as well. I found that quite interesting.
Anyway, there was a moment where my friend said something along the lines of 'It's sad isn't it. All of this beauty and all you can hear is
that.' He was referring to the sound of roads and cars in the distance. Immediately I was overwhelmed with intense sadness and a crippling sorrow, but I was very quickly able to bring myself back to happiness, which I found quite interesting; the susceptibility mushrooms have to what emotion you want to feel. So I felt better again, but only when we decided to make tracks and walk back (it was about a 20 minute walk) did we really get hit with horror. Unfortunately, we had no choice but to walk along the side of a road for the way back, and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. That pure connection with nature, that love and relationship I felt just minutes prior with Mother Earth, had been stripped away as I looked on to the monstrosities humans had made. It was dreadful, but it did spark some great conversations with my friend on the way back.
We got back to his place with the plan of setting up a cosy environment inside. In the living room the curtains were closed allowing an orangey-red haze to leak into the room, we put on the gas fire to get a lovely, comforting warmth and we put some Future Sound Of London on. Before that, though, I was by myself in that living room in complete silence, and by this time hour two had commenced, and I felt as though everything in the room - the sofa, the curtains, the tv, the carpet - was all looking out for me, making sure I was okay. I verbally thanked them and then laughed at myself because of it.
When the music began, and the psilocybin really began to set in, then things got interesting. Nothing could have prepared me for what I experienced. I felt that everything -
everything was contributing towards pure global ecstasy. The music became me, and I became the music. I found it interesting that there were no 'visual' hallucinations, as everything was - I suppose - all in my mind and in my feelings and emotion, instead of manifesting itself to physically see. Things got even more intense and amazing when we both decided to smoke some cannabis about halfway into hour two. That was when it
all hit me to the extreme. I experienced what I could only really describe as being Enlightenment, at least Enlightenment in one form of itself. I felt that everything ever that could, could not, would, would not, should, should not, will and will not exist, had consciousness and was all equal with itself and with me.
Everything was as it should be, everything fit in its own place within a quantum-universal equilibrium. The easiest way to describe would be it felt as if I was in Existence's biggest party yet. When I closed my eyes, in my head I could physically
see the music. The kick drum that was offering a wonderful pulse was positioned to my right, and I remember noting that it was absolutely fine that it was there, and that 'he' was meant to be there. It was the universe's will. I'm sure I repeated myself several times in saying that this was Enlightenment (at least in one form).
There was a moment when somebody actually called the house (turned out to be my friend's parents). The first ring was so intrusive, it felt horrible, so out-of-place and so painful even. But by the time the second ring had come, it had already become a part of everything. It was 'joining the party' as it were. They left a message, and with my eyes closed it felt as it they were manifesting themselves physically in the room with us, even though I wasn't looking at them. These feelings are perhaps the simplest interpretations of the actual experience; it is actually impossible to really verbalise what I felt, for it was an experience beyond any human sense or emotion. During the comedown, we felt that new words would have to be used to describe such experiences, until we realised that 'shpongled' is a pretty good description anyway
Hour three and four was just as wonderful (writhing around on a carpet felt amazing, as if it was hugging me forever), although we had started wondering around the house on our own a bit at this point instead of just staying in the living room. There was a moment when I was laying on the floor with my head behind a curtain and I was looking upwards to the ceiling... except it felt as if I was looking
down some extremely tall building or something. It felt amazing. I realised, at around 3pm or so, that I was 'probably' rather hungry; the only thing I had eaten all day was 26 psilocybin mushrooms. Talk about a great breakfast, eh? I ended up getting two slices of bread, and as I was finishing eating them I came to the realisation that I had been making up a love story in my head between these two slices, and because I was holding them so hard I had crushed them into one another. So when I was eating them, I was also thinking 'Aww they did get together in the end!' The anthropomorphism was endless.
Everything was conscious. It was wonderful.
We eventually came down, and were rather speechless. How could we possibly put into words the
true sensations we experienced? It wasn't really possible, but the things I've written here are close enough, and I'm sure echo many other's experiences on here. I do remember, though, both of us thinking 'Why is this illegal?' I could not comprehend it. It is pure nature. It grows in Mother Earth's ground and can be eaten there and then. I will never understand it.
One thing's for sure, though. That was definitely the most profound experience of my life. I could have happily died at that moment; I had transcended everything material, immediate and physical, and was everywhere and everything all at the same time. I look forward to my next experience, even if it may be different, and even if it won't be for quite some time yet. I am very happy to have had this experience. I feel so much closer to nature and, more specifically, to the mushroom kingdom on a whole (not just psilocybin either). Thank you, mushrooms. I hope we meet again soon.
-SS
“There is a transcendental dimension beyond language... It's just hard as hell to talk about!”
-Terence McKenna