Meth you say?

Methamphetamine, along with Amphetamine & Cocaine are actually the most likely
drugs to cause delirious mindstates. Plenty of people have gone psychotic or
into delirium because of using Meth, Speed and/or Cocaine alone.

Combining Meth use with LSD seems like a no no. I mean using Meth at all seems
wreckless & desparate to begin with. It's a nervous kind of upper-drug.
At the same time, while being a psychedelic, LSD also is quite a "nervous"
drug if you catch my drift. The 2 of them must have caused too much stress
on your psyche.


Furthermore, if you would use Methamphetamine at all, you must be deeply
psychologically troubled to begin with. Your unusually lengthy experience
of being in an altered mindspace could also be the bad combination of LSD
& this underlying psychological disturbance you have(that lead you to drugs like Meth)

I've had similar experiences, acid on coke comedown. I had a year of aftereffects. It was a total pain in the ass to repair it, and a bloody drain of life energy. My good friend in rehab says that speed and acid, close together or in combination, was that which fucked him up the most of all, and he's been around the block on psychedelic combos.

Meth is neurotoxic like no other and has a half-life of 9-12 hours, meaning it still is in fair amounts in your blood after the comedown, and at that point in the timeline is most likely the worst to ingest anything like LSD (or RCs) with all of it's deep psychological effects. Meth stays for ages, I was up for four days from one dose once feeling stimuli, though of course experiencing comedown, but unlike some people tend to believe, the drug is not out of the body after the comedown is over, it just continues to stress the system until it's gone, even when you feel very little.

What seemed to happen with me and my friend in these stimulant plus acid combinations is that the stress on the mind alongside with the associative and mind opening effects of acid created a sort of "tree" of the issue in thought patterns, distracting away from what is the original cause (the blame game). Have you had any problem with mind-loops after this trip? "Falling out" of yourself(/ego)? Paranoia?

For my part, shrooms and Ayahuasca fixes, most efficiently Ayahuasca. Meditation & weed in moderation (not recommended if you get worse from smoking). Exercise. Analyze the emotions, you might have ended up pulling up some deep issues and distorting them here, so even therapy can be good if you get a good listening one with little prejudice on drugs.

I would recommend eating very pure food and superfoods as well to replenish all the body's vitamins and minerals, but meat alongside other good food is something I don't think is bad in your situation. Lecithin supplements and hemp seeds (proteins, omegas and amino acids) are good to repair meth neurotoxicity.

Really, just taking a general attitude of nurturing yourself, taking good healthy care of your mind and body, can be one of the most important parts in the foundation of your bouncing back from this. It sounds like you're already on that path; just stick with it.

I've really noticed a difference over these last few days... I used to eat pretty poorly as well, but this week I've been in super detox mode drinking bulk water (I do anyway) alongside the correct orange juice without stupid additives, nutrient based water, been eating so much fruit and salad, etc...

I've noticed the anxiety kind of lingers but the paranoia has pretty much subsided (although there's still a few brief moments). I have the best friends I can ask for, so they've been really helpful in getting me through this (coming over, talking to me, sharing bad trips they've had, going for walks to exercise).

I almost feel like I've been reset 6 months too... I only really started socializing again 6 months ago, and before then / at the start I used to get anxiety and sometimes almost vomit, but it eventually went away. This seems pretty similar, except it has taken a lot less time to be comfortable, which is awesome.

When I was with a mate before, he had another friend there and suggested I give Calea Zacatechichi a go (I've been craving weed all week, but stayed strong and resisted temptation, but I still really miss it...). He claimed it wasn't a bad alternative to weed, and gives you some pretty vivid dreams. Any thoughts on that would be helpful... I'm not going to touch it unless I know it will help.

Once again though, a huge thanks to everyone here sending the positive vibes... I honestly feel you guys here have given me the best mindset when I was really scared / panicking... (:


EDIT: Is it common for your pupils to dilate while stoned? I decided to have a single cone tonight to see how I went. I looked in the mirror and noticed my pupils were dilated heaps... I don't remember ever noticing them being as dilated as they were... Normally they just go incredibly red (lol).

You're still alive. You are fine.
& if you're interested in hearing a (what I will attempt to make small as f@#k!) story about when I ingested a synthetic compound an old friend had given me, and it's repercussions read on haha.


I once ingested a substance that set the sail's in which direction my life would be going for a while.

Unfortunately, lots of chemicals nowadays that are marketed to users are not what they seem. I can't tell you how many times I have seen kids ingest DO-x compounds (DOB, DOC, etcetc) marketed as LSD (including my girlfriend who had an extremely profound experience...). In my opinion these chemicals are not and were never meant to be ingested by anyone or anything, but most people are "about their money" and don't really care what happens or how a user feels after the substances are in your hands.

I'm sorry about your experience and I'm glad you're doing better, the anxiety and paranoia will subside with time- just relax and take it as it comes and realize that you aren't "damaged goods" and that you're going to be completely fine soon.

An old friend of mine that I once trusted more than anything, comes up to me one night.
He tells me "XXXX, ROLL WITH ME!" we used to hustle a lot of MDMA back in the day and so naturally I trusted him.

Everything in my gut this night was telling me not to do it, but I did anyway. So I eat this capsule of "MDMA" and it hits me, I can tell it's not MDMA- but an analog, it was whatever.. previously I had eaten analogs and RCs before on rare occasions and been fine with them, but they weren't exactly my favorite so I was slightly miff'd... haha

The night is moving on and I'm feeling out of my body- in complete and total bliss; hugging someone was the greatest feeling I had ever had. Having a conversation with anyone was the best feeling I ever had, walking, talking, drinking, EVERYTHING felt amazing, I felt on top of the world, and in the clouds

So I walk to the kitchen to grab some water. Put the water in my mouth, and notice that I immediately felt nauseous, I swallowed the water and my stomach was very upset. I'm walking back to where everyone was sitting outside holding my stomach, I sit down once I am outside and attempt to sip the water again, same effect.. except this time:

ME: "I think I'm gonna be sick, I don't feel so good"
XXXX: Are you o-

VOMITING. EVERYWHERE. PROJECTILE VOMITING. disgusting, something was wrong. I started freaking out, perhaps having my first panic attack/fit of anxiety? For some reason I couldn't hold water in my stomach, and water in my mouth made me extremely nauseous ?!

So I walk inside the house, my friends are following me. The owner of the house notices my chest (wearing a shirt with a few button ups on it) I was COVERED in red blotches = allergic reaction.

So.. rush to wal-greens didn't really know what to do, was completely honest with the pharmacist he opened up a packet of benedryl for me I took the benedryl and eventually the blotches went away-needless to say my night is turning out exactly as if I knew how it was going to turn out previously to ingesting the chemical...

The whole night was filled with strange occurances and feelings- terrifying ones. I felt awful, nobody gave a shit and everyone was like "Oh you're just fucked up, you're just panicking, you're going to be okay" despite begging for someone to bring me to the hospital.

This is going on really long, and I'm going to skip most of the occurances unless someone ends up being interested in this story at all and asks, but one very profound thing happened on this night.

I was sitting on a couch in the living room of the house late, late, late at night with nobody awake- just me, in all my agony and panic accepting death soon to come (lots of signs of brain damage, etcetc lots of strange things happening, so of course I assumed the worst)

I am staring at the wall for some reason huddled up in the corner of the couch. All of a sudden, I see a green translucent door appear in a foggy green mist on this empty white wall. I am sitting here.. saying nothing... knowing nothing of what is happening, also keep in mind the RC I ingested was NOT a hallucinogen of any sorts but what I am thinking was more of a synthetic amphetamine.

A woman, appearing in the same fashion shows up. She is green and translucent, and facing the door. Her hair and dress were waving in "the wind" and I could not see her face. My eyes open up VERY wide and I sit there in silence thinking to myself "is this it? what the hell is happening?"

The door opens wide up. Inside the door: nothing but black, emptiness.. against this blank, white, wall. The woman sits there for a moment, doing nothing... and walks through the wall into the door. The door closes, and dissipates.

And that was it. After that, the next morning I am still just as fucked up, pupils JUST as big as they were when I came up and eventually someone brought me to the hospital.

Toxicity report: Extremely unsafe level of amphetamines in my body. Gave me 8 MG of Ativan (fucked me up again, hahah but felt MUCH better..)

/End

Needless to say.. the following MONTHS and MONTHS were awful (this happened LAST year around this time). I was plagued with HORRIBLE anxiety.. I couldn't smoke cannabis anymore because it caused GREAT anxiety in me, and I became a completely different person and I hated it. Nobody would help me, I was forced to purchase benzo's off the street NOT to get fucked up (i am totally against pills) but just to relax, just to feel normalcy once again- just to be able to function during the days.

I would often times have terrible sleep paralysis and "brain zaps" where I felt like I was dying/seizing/"exploding"/stopping breathing/my heart was stopping in my sleep. I would be stuck up all night smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee to stay awake, and only recently has my life begun to get back on track.

So basically all I'm trying to say is you are very lucky to be in the situation that you're in, rather.

You're gonna be okay, and if you ever need any type of help Dmt-Nexus look's like they have people who care!

AND to answer your last question, Marijuana IS classified as a psychedelic therefore yes some people's pupils will enlarge when smoking cannabis with a higher percentage of sativa.

...I also suggest NOT doing drugs like meth... you only need a wee bit of commen sense to understand what drugs are safe and what drugs are NOT safe.. take care of yourself.

I use Calea regularly and have no problem recommending it. Although I do have to mention that I don't like smoking the stuff! It smells great - Smoking it causes an almost instant gag reflex. I almost threw up last time I tried smoking. For some people, that's the same case with the tea, but I brew a very small cup - like two shots. I plug my nose, down it in one go, acknowledge "bitter sensations" on my tongue, and immediately chase it with juice, swishing to clear the taste. Sour citrus with ginger is really good for palate cleansing this bitter beast.

My last brew was last night. I ended up having a dream that I was sitting in an intimate concert - an old friend of mine who I haven't seen in forever was playing and singing. The music was beautiful. The striking thing about this dream, which I credit to the Calea, was how calmly I was able to sit, enjoy the show, and scrutinize everything. The music, the people on stage, the look on my friend's face. In my mind I was thinking as a songwriter - imagining how I might do the song differently, though my friend took a different direction. In a way I was able to hear two pieces of distinct music at once - the one in my head, and the one that was playing. I never woke to the fact that it was a dream while I was in it, but I still consider it a lucid dream - Lucid in that I had "awoken" DURING the dream to full sober presence, could take my time in enjoying the experience.

Dreams are a great way to work through anxiety and problems. You may even have a bad dream - but you're quite safe in dream country, and bliss or nightmare or mundanity, your dreams can teach you a lot.

I've never really been "stoned" while awake taking Calea, certainly nothing on the level of a bowl of weed. I use it exclusively for lucid dreaming, and I find it a very valuable substance in that regard.

good to know you're doing beter Xaniki , in time everything shall be good , just keep excercising everyday for therapy , eat good and rest a lot

just before sleeping try to listen to some chill music and meditate , rather than directly jumping off to sleep , this might get you better quality sleep

also in the start of the day its cool to sit on a chair for 15-20 mins relaxing doing nothing , trying to keep thoughts out , focus on your breathing , vision -what you're seeing around you and hearing - what sounds are going on , just do this for a few mins before starting the day

also remember thinking leads to panic attactks , any thought good or bad only keeps one away from reality that is happening at that moment , as you go through your day keep a steady focus on your breathing pattern , try to steadily notice the in-breath and the out-breath , when you start thinking , i mean as soon as a thought comes to your mind , any thought good or bad - start observing your breath and pay not much attention to your thought , for me when i had suffered from amphetamine psychosis , all that went wrong for me was my thoughts increased to a dramatic level , i would be thinking while talking , thinking while listening , thinking while crossing the road , thinking in my sleep , thinking continuously was causing such a problem , it seemed all my energy was being consumed by my thought process ......

Hope you're ok dude, don't worry it always end's fill yourself with love and try to think of as many positive thing's as you can, drink as much orange juice/apple juice, fruit juices in general, eat a good meal or two, listen to some decent music you like, just chill down.

Thoughts are going out for you dude

Well, this has been an incredible, very important week for me, and I feel I've grown from it. I think in a way it was necessary I go through the experience. I feel if I hadn't have been given the eye opener, I would have no doubt done something much worse, and ended up either dead, or very near it. For that, I am glad (The anxiety sucks, although it has subsided a lot, and seems to be improving).

It feels like I have found hidden doors in my brain that have shown me many other things with life itself. I'm more in tune with my senses, with nature, with humans and their interactions (both with myself and others), with staying healthy... The list goes on. I feel my life has changed in a way so severe, that I can really enjoy it so much more (once this lingering anxiety that comes and goes fully passes...).

I could go on forever about my experience, and my week to follow up, but I think I'll keep it there. So once again, I really do thank everyone for their help throughout this crazy, crazy weekend of my life.

Good vibes all round. (:

Hey XaniKi,

I'm glad you are feeling better. I'm sure the lingering anxiety too will fade away. Just keep analyzing and identifying it, try to reason with it even. This seems to help sometimes.

I highly suggest you elaborate on the things you learned in a personal diary or something of the sorts. You sound like you have some very special things that you learned and in order not to forget these things it's good to write them down. As the experience fades, these insights as well can slip into forgetfulness, if we don't consciously hold on to them and integrate them into our being... so keep working on that.

wishing you the best!
cheers

I genuinely thought it was getting better... But tonight was pretty bad. I had salad and chicken (chicken was covered in melted cheese and salsa, something I normally like). I could eat the salad no worries, but I couldn't stomach the rest... Which got me thinking "I wonder if I've lost weight this week". I weighed myself on scales before, and I've lost 3-5kg's in a week (I'm not 100% sure if the scales are correct. They're my mothers old ones, and I believe the batteries and may be old but I'm not sure; I remember them once going funny with flat batteries). That going me really worried that I was going to eventually fade away to nothing. I had HEAPS of negative thoughts start coming at me that I couldn't stop. Even as I write this, my anxiety is still present, just not as prominent).

On a side note... Is it common to go from say 63-65kg to 60kg in a week from these kind of experiences?

Yes, stress leads to weight loss and there's also a lot of dehydration when using stimulants, sometimes before I used 3-4 days to recover that. I could look really sick after stimulants since I'm already quite un-fat, however getting back to quite normal after hydrating the body. I recommend getting watery fruits to eat, that can help more than drinking water.

I have a quick question too... Is it normal to feel tired randomly while anxious? I get this weird feeling in my head and feel tired...

EDIT: Other question (sorry for all of this)... I've noticed when I get really anxious and what not, after it eventually subsides I go back to a neutral mood, then I sort of get a bit happier than a regular mood (if that makes sense). It's really hard to explain...

XaniKi, you still haven't really posted anything that I didn't experience after my own difficult LSD trip. Often, the cycle would go like this: awful panic attacks that would go on for hours and hours --> completely neutral period --> period of deep peace, sometimes even ecstasy and joy.

Ever consider that what you're experiencing might be what spiritual literature refers to as an awakening?

For me, what I realized was that I NEEDED a crisis of that magnitude in order to get me to wake the **** up and to fully embody my deepest aspirations and open up all the way to life. I didn't JUST recover from the anxiety, I was completely transformed because of it, like night and day.

The moment I realized this was when I went to the doctor and he gave me this B.S. clinical description of panic disorder, and prescribed some xanax. But I KNEW, beyond words, what was happening was much deeper than his explanation.

Like everything in life, you can "get by" and cling to the superficial. You can view life from the perspective that the medical establishment and most of our culture takes, which reduces raw, inexplicable experience into easily digestible words and sentences, it's very easy to do. Or you can let go to the depths, and open yourself up to the unknown, see what your anxiety has to teach you. You have the power to choose.

Just wanted to offer a different perspective.

Take care man.

Were you (or anyone?) experiencing what kind of feels like a headache? My head kind of feels sore, not really a migraine, but a light tingling / sore feeling?

Yup! Like especially right along the scalp? Yeah I had a variety of bizarre physical sensations that fed into the whole panic feedback-loop. Tingling in the arms and fingers too. I was hyper-aware of the space at the edge of my skin.

If you want my bullshit explanation, my intuition is that it has something to do with the psychedelic experience resetting your bodily awareness. During the course of our lives we get so used to the body that we tune it out, just like a repetitive sound that you stop noticing after a while. We forget how wild and strange our bodies really are.

Anyway, the weird tingling/soreness went away after a while.

Yeah that's what I've noticed, almost as if someone is pulling my hair. The other thing is I've been feeling really tired lately D: Today especially, can't stop yawning... even though I had a good night sleep. :/

It almost feels like I'm stuck in a mild trip or something I guess you could say... I can't put my finger on it, but it kind of feels like everything I look at has a different feel to it, I can't put it in to words...

continue to excercise everyday ( this is therapy )
eat good food and listen to forest trance
watch some stand up comedy if u like that sorta thing

and most importantly wait ... can take a whole year , the anxiety does leave sooner or later


perhaps knowing this will help ...... most importantly accept that this is really nothing , since eternity is approaching from the other side as death , fear will not save you , it will only make you afraid
surrender to a higher power , let go and remember you are a soul

a soul cannot be burnt by fire , nor can it be wet with water
there is no weapon that can harm it
it was never born and so it can never die

so enjoy your time on the planet the way you can , for each moment is precious and magical , its not just about travelling through life , a soul travels eternity
remember that , anxiety is still a very human issue , a soul need not fear that

Heh... The doctor gave me 25 Alepam 15mg oxazepam tablets... Had 5 hours ago, still feeling back to normal. Haven't felt this good in weeks (feeling normal, not hyped up on prescription meds lol...).

Wow... I'd noticed very, very mild (almost like my hair was being pulled headaches...), but today I've noticed that the back of my head is starting to feel worse, and I get a weird tingle sensation in my head (not very often, but happens)... My vision is a little distorted (not much, but objects far away seem distorted a little). I'm told this is a migraine... Can anyone else please enlighten me? I'm starting to really get scared / flip out...