I've had a good number of experiences with LSD, DMT, mushrooms and with those i've always had a positive experience and took something out of it.

However a month ago I had a horrific experience with HWBR seeds in which the nausea just destroyed me. The trip made me feel like I have no control over my mind, the nausea and the environment controlled everything. After the nausea subsided however, the rest of my trip was fine.


Still, that was the first time I really had a truly horrific experience. I haven't felt the same since that trip. I've noticed myself crumbling in the face of stress and i've been feeling down on myself for a while now. I can't even focus on the simple things in life and the joy you can get out of them. For example, if I watch a cartoon, i still end up analyzing all the character behaviors and the possible statements on society and life that can be drawn for them. And it's not just that. My whole thinking process just seems blown out of proportion now and every thought that I have has a negative connotation tied to it. Life kind of feels like just one long bad trip. As of now, I feel like my surroundings control every aspect of my life and I have control over almost nothing (even though I know this isn't true, it's so deeply ingrained I can't disregard it).

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal nor am I really depressed. I'm just bothered by the fact that I don't get as much simple enjoyment in my life. Please offer me some advice as to how I can try to fix myself, i'm having a lot of difficulty finding answers right now and confiding in my psyche.

The best thing, above all, is time. Just put some time in between you and this experience. You can think in it, meditate, etc. or just completely avoid it mentally. The mind has a way of working things like this out, though it may not happen as fast as you would hope.

I feel you on those damn seeds. I have done them twice, and that was it. I am extracting them, in the hopes that it will be a better experience. Each time I did them I just got super sleep and sick. Not even like purge sick, like with DMT, just plain old yuck.

I hope you get better soon. My last bit of advice is to go do something new. You may not find the same pleasure in your daily life, but the mind likes new things. It's stimulating and fun. So use this opportunity to go do something!

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time, mate.

Two of the biggest things I've come to realize are:

1. Control is illusory.
2. Learning to let go can save your life.

What I'd recommend is, as Mr Peabody suggests, taking some time away from any and all substances for the moment, and using that time to look at your life and what it is that causes you to feel such dissatisfaction. I know the feeling horrendously well, but I also know that trying to fight with it, change it, or make it into something it's not will only lead to more problems. Sit with those thoughts and emotions without trying to change them, leave them as they are and just observe them; look at the thoughts that come up with certain physical sensations, or how certain emotional responses happen every time you think of, for example, someone who you believe wronged you in your life. The more you look at these patterns of mental and physical sensations, the easier it gets to recognize them and let them go before they can interfere with your everyday activities.

It's as simple as recognizing them, not ignoring or repressing them, just acknowledge them and let them go. They will pass away, they will change, they are not "you" and do not imply a "you" who is experiencing them or causing them to be there. I can promise with, with completely certainty, that those feelings, although they may seem to, do not remain static and are in a continual state of flux; use this to your advantage, learn how futile it is to hold onto the unpleasantness and see how ridiculous it is to allow such transient, empty mental objects, which is all they are really, dictate how you will feel about life.

Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, we only have this moment right here in which to be truly alive and so it makes no sense to allow what might happen next, or what's already happened, to spoil it.

I hope you sort your head out soon, and that you find something of use in this post.

Hello Maxx,

Thanks so much for posting this. I'm very sorry you are going through this, but I expect this thread will receive a lot of valuable replies. At least I certainly hope so. I also hope this might be somewhat helpful to you https://wiki.dmt-nexus.m...h_and_Safety#Integration

In my opinion, as mentioned by Mr. Peabody, time is your ally. But, it's not just about letting time pass. It's about abstaining from drugs during that time, making healthy choices and working hard on integration.

I would encourage you to do things that center you in reality - getting into a focused routine with work and/or school can sometimes be helpful with this. A nutritious and regular diet along with regular, non-drugged sleep, are important too. As is sexual orgasm. Don't underestimate exercise - even a brisk walk daily can work wonders.

I would also recommend daily meditation. Speaking personally, I have found it to be very helpful in quieting my mind and giving me a better perspective on things.

We care for you very much Maxx and don't want you to suffer unduly.

If in fact you are unduly uncomfortable and/or having difficulty with daily tasks you may want to look into some counseling of some sort. Sometimes it can be very helpful to have someone to speak with about things.

I hope you will keep us posted and begin to get some relief soon. Feel free to visit chat if you just want to be with some folks who have seen the dark side of tripping

Thank you all for the responses. I really don't know many people immersed in the world of psychedelics and reading something relatable is extremely reassuring. I'm currently reading up on integration right now. I am starting to feel better after reading these replies and I will take all of this advice to heart.

as a safety note , stick to the wonderful psychadelics

trying new things is part of the experience no doubt however some psychadelics offer more positive expriences , i have suffered trying new things in the past and now i stick by the wonderful ones

what about those of us who found LSA containing seeds to be wonderful?


and really if he had pleasant experiences with LSD, i don't think we should be too hasty to blame LSA.

somehow i don't think a diethyl chain would have made the experience more acceptable.

You sound blessed with the gift of youth, believe me you conundrum is of a temporary nature. As already recommended, lay off the psychedelics for a while.

Plant based meds like Blue Lotus, Kratom would be fine ( imo) . As would spoiling yourself a bit with things that you might like but wouldn't do under normal circumstances. ( if one can afford it) New clothes, Solarium, Sauna, massage, nice dinner with a friend etc. etc.

The great thing aout psychedelics, is that one can walk away from them at any time without having to endure withdrawels and cravings , then return at a whim when things are rosy again.

Taking time off and working on being the best person you can is a good place to start. I took a very long time off (approximately 28 years), and then the calling came up a couple years ago. I am very much an 'easy does it' person this time around with psychedelics unlike the balls out kinda guy I was many years back with these substances.

Be gentle on yourself and enjoy. I am glad that I am not the only one who has had difficult experiences not that I wish them on anybody.