This is the first entheogen community I have joined after being led here to the nexus as well as the psychonaut from various Google queries about dmt. I am quite a new user of entheogens.

This past summer I had a disappointing trip with 2.5 g of mushrooms and also tried to smoke dmt a couple times. I did not break through, to my disappointment. In the interest of brevity, I will say that I simply believe I smoked it wrong. Being introduced to weed my junior year in high school, I took a particular fondness to it. Unfortunately, I also smoked a lot of Diablo (AM-2201) the summer before my senior year in high school. This was the summer of 2011. This summer before going to college, I smoked weed every day until the beginning of August.

Surgery and other complications decreased my marijuana use to a couple times a week. With surgery came a large prescription of hydrocodone pills. I abused these for almost a week. When I decided to quit I was obviously addicted, leading to a highly unpleasant altercation between my parents and me. When I came to college, I did not want to be here. I had another first choice but with the money hanging over my head, I complied.

Various circumstances culminated with me visiting the school psychologists of my own volition. Diagnosing me with social anxiety (something I have always been latently yet keenly aware of) and depression (and adjustment disorder), they strongly recommended I seek outside psychiatric help and long term counseling.

My first psychiatrist visit I was prescribed lexapro 10 mg and managed to wring out a xanax prescription as well (I enjoy trying new drugs and being in an altered state of mind). The xanax was to serve a dual purpose: temporarily reduce my social anxiety until the lexapro began working and help me fall asleep at night. I also began seeing an outside LPC. I prefer uppers to downers but used xanax and a red bull to have a great time at a party. Unfortunately, despite my sociability, I remember very little of that night.

The xanax was mostly ineffective at helping me sleep. I was then prescribed 10 mg of ambien. This knocked me out but I awoke three hours later. Pissed off, I took 2 mg of xanax. Instead of knocking me out it simply made me high. Extremely angry at my inability to sleep, I walked around campus at 4 in the morning. Eventually choosing to call my psychiatrist, I was allowed to take more xanax or another ambien. I am now on lexapro 10 mg, 10 15 or 20 mg of ambien, 3 mg xanax total (as needed), and 30 mg remeron.

My insomnia and depression are under control. My social anxiety is mostly dependent on how much xanax I choose to take. After going to my first party here this weekend, I decided that I wanted to stay at my college and try to enjoy myself. Several weeks prior, when the lexapro kicked in, I experienced somewhat of an epiphany. I decided that I wanted to completely rework my personality to be more compatible with people and society in general.

I also abandoned my parents' religion, choosing instead to simply identify a nebulous higher power while I searched. I have not declared this abandonment to be absolute, but rather a part of my search to bring about personal happiness and self fulfillment. If I can find fulfillment in Christianity I have no logical qualms to returning.

I do not know if my awkward stage in high school would have ended sans drugs. However, I believe that AM-2201 negatively impacted my brain chemistry. I also have struggled with rejection in my life, likely another major cause of my social anxiety. This coupled with an unsupportive family environment with negative perceptions of psychiatry caused further problems.

Based on forums I have perused, DMT: The spirit molecule, and conversations with my psychologist, I make the medically unsubstantiated claim that DMT is a solution to my neurological problems. Suicidal for a time, but no longer, I do not fear death in most senses of the word.

I believe that breaking through with DMT will allow me to more immediately confront and resolve the issues behind my anti social symptoms. From what I have read, this is a community of open minded and educated people. I appreciate your input.

Hello nauttak,

Welcome to the Nexus.

That was quite an Introductory Essay - it was kind of difficult to read. Could you please take some time to Edit it and break it into separate paragraphs, each separated by a line? That would make it a lot easier to read and I bet you'd get a lot more replies.

I found your story to be distressing. I am sorry you have had so much difficulty so very early in your life. Without being any kind of medical professional at all, I have to say, that's quite a pharmacy of powerful and addictive drugs you are taking there on a daily basis. It sounds like you are somewhat stable but not happy and probably nowhere near where you'd like to be.

I'd like to suggest that perhaps now is not a great time for you to explore DMT. Please be sure to take some time to read this link in its entirety https://wiki.dmt-nexus.m...s_Wiki:Health_and_Safety

It IS definitely a great time to join this Forum though - I am confident you can make many good contributions here.

Being so young you have an advantage and an ally - time is literally on your side. There is no rush. You have many decades of life left to look forward too. Drugs will always be there. One way or another, I suspect folks will always be able to access and extract DMT.

One thing you may want to look into here is the future of all this. Mimosa Hostillis Root Bark (MHRB) is no longer easy to procure in most places, thus lots of research is being done on other plant sources as well as growing at home from seed.

Again, welcome to the Nexus.

Fixed! I think. What do you think about the efficacy of dmt in regards to social anxiety?

To be honest, just expressing my own opinion, thinking strictly in terms of entheogens, . . . I believe MDMA would be much much more efficacious for that. But that's just an opinion. I cannot and am not attempting to give medical advice. . . .

Your cleanup/fixes look great! Thanks so much, .

I tried mdma and I did not have a good experience. MDMA has long lasting anxiolytic effects?

..welcome nauttak !..i enjoyed and sympathised with your essay..

i am a clinical psychologist..now, the first thing i would say is that not every 'medication' suits every person, we all have slightly different metabolisms etc.. but, i do think that out of all 'medications'
either DMT+meditation+'spiritual' perspective (any) or Ayahuasca in Ceremony+diet+rest/exercise
can treat both depression and social anxiety in a range of people (myself included)
but, part of the 'treatment' can (and usually) involves facing one's own shadows and others' darkness..by experiencing in internal spaces our fears and wounds we can let them pass (metabolise them) so that they have less hold on us..
but it's the approach as much as the molecule, IMO, that leads to healing..
..the danger is when DMT (or other entheogens) are not used in safe, controlled or supportive environments..

a number of respected psychiatrists and doctors have suggested the potential of DMT as an adjunct to trauma therapy or psychoanalysis..Stephen Szára in“DMT at fifty”. Neuropsychopharmacol Hung. 2007 Dec 30;9(4):201-5., Stanislav Grof among them..

a good, trusted, close friend or two for support/feedback really helps too..otherwise, let spirit or nature be your friend and guide..

a warning though, it isn't good to mix prescription psych meds with DMT and especially ayahuasca..try and ease off them with herbal alternatives before ingesting..

wish you good luck and well being on your journey..
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Thank you nen888. Could you suggest any herbal alternatives specifically?

..well, like i said different things work better for some than others, and it could be worth mildly trying a few to pick what seems to work for you..for myself, and a few people i know, passiflora incarnata (passionflower) as a tea is good for anxiety..kava is good for feeling more relaxed when socialising (not as up then down as mdma IMO)
..and for general depression, and anxiolytics, there's a range of nexian suggestions in Plant Based Anti-Depressants
..kanna comes to mind off the top of my head..and exercise and healthy diet generally on top of any of these..

stay well and enjoy the nexus..

Thanks, I checked out your link and you seem really knowledgeable about pharmacology. I'm going to show this to my counselor and see what he thinks too. Again, thank you