Well nexus here it is, I tried mescaline for the first time this weekend. For starters it was the most vile disgusting and horrible thing that has ever gone into my body, it was San Pedro tea and I couldn't even finish the dose it was so bad..then when I reduced it down to a last shot I knocked it back and projectile vomited 5 feet.

The trip pretty much had no peak but I felt as if I put in a pair of glass eyeballs and could see everything with extreme clarity and enhancement, but there were no hallucinations.

Here's where things get bad though, on the comedown I had some of the worst physical discomfort of my life..6 hours of a CONSTANT throbbing headache and extreme nausea, to top it all off almost all of the day cept' for a few hours my thoughts were driving me mad. I was 100% convinced that the only way to end of all of this would be to kill myself..and it wasn't even the trip that I wanted to end..this has happened sober before.. sometimes just the ability to perceive anything at all is unbearable to think about..the mescaline re-showed me this cosmic joke and it wasn't funny one bit.

I think I need a long break from psychedelics, perhaps forever. Has anyone been through something like this? I feel physically and mentally wrecked and quite distraught about the whole thing. I can't even count how many times I've sworn off psychedelics only to go back..I think they are beautiful tools and agents for change..but sometimes taking yourself on this path takes a heavy tole on your thoughts.

I'm sorry that this happened, and I'm sure you realize that many of us have been through similar things before. I think this is an important post and that it is important to realize that even with mescaline, which is often regarded as having little possibility of causing a 'bad trip', there is always the possibility of an experience that the user deems unpleasant.

I've certainly been there and I find that some phenethylamine drugs will exhaust me for the days following the trip much in the same way you seem to feel... there are lots of hard things to discover when you open up your mind, but I think it is important to consider these things as an obstacle to overcome in a quest for new knowledge.

It's often the case that bad trips seem the worst in the hours and days/even weeks following them. The more intense your experience, the longer and harder you will need to work to integrate it into your life and advance yourself as a person. It is up to you to decide whether or not you need a break from psychedelics, and there is certainly no harm and no shame in taking a break from entheogens in order to best make use of the lessons they teach you.

Much love and peace to you and let me just say I think that one of the greatest things during trying times like this is having an experienced, dedicated, and loving community like the Nexus to fall back on.

EDIT: I'm also curious as to how you prepared for this journey regarding fasting, time of ingestion, set/setting, etc. sometimes all of these things can be right and you will still have a negative experience, but there's also the possbility that this could be attributable to something that went wrong with preparation.

Sorry you had a negative experience, I also had a horrible headache for a day after eating some bridgessii resin. I have been told that it was probably due to dehydration as cactus tends to dry one out.

Did you dose late in the day? I find that it makes the mind f*ck a lot easier if you are not trying to sleep during the comedown of any long lasting psychedelic especially the stimulating ones such as mescaline and LSD. It is also sort of strange that you felt extremely nauseous for so long, I'm not too experienced with mescaline but from what I've read and my experience the nausea usually fades a few hours after ingestion. Is it possible that you had some mold or contaminant on your cactus?

mescaline feels taxing on the system to me. People say mescaline is so gentle etc..well in some ways it is..in other ways it feels like the system has to pay a larger price for the expereience. I feel exhausted after working with cacti at anything beyond a mellow little microdose. Headaches and sore muscles are just a side effect for me..and being tired for the next day or 2.

I love it and it is a beauitful psychedelic..but for me does not lend itself to frequent use the way ayahuasca or even mushrooms does.

I never felt suicidal on mescaline though, so I cant comment on that.

From memory, concentrated cactus extract is about the most disgusting and vile drink ever.
When I used to smell it, it automatically triggered gag reflex.
Used to have to drink some and chase it with Vegemite (similar to Marmite, for you people in the states).
I think if I ever did it again in the future, I would definitely extract it, if you did a straight boil, this could be the cause for the vomiting.
I have vomited all over my friends floor from drinking concentrated acidic boiled San Pedro tea in the past :/
As far as effects, I feel it's similar to LSD, but with stimulant based effects added in, and the nausea as well.

Yes. And it wears off. It just takes some time. I can´t say how long it will take for you, but it WILL happen.

Cacti and especially torches, are notoriously inconsistent in quality. They can contain high amounts of mescaline and low amounts of crap, but they can also contain a lot of crap and very little mescaline. Some of the other alkaloids can definately be a bit toxic. Burnt made a post about this, a long time ago.

You will be feeling better.

Sky Motion

Indeed a break from entheogens for a while is probably the best idea. Clear and refresh your perspective and focus on the positive aspects of your life. Once you have managed to shake off the intensity of your journey, maybe try an evaluate why your experience went in the direction it did.

Rather use this challenging journey to cultivate knowledge and self awareness within yourself as its through our most formidable experiences that we learn and grow the most. I am definitely incredibly grateful for my most difficult journeys as they have strengthened me in a way which nothing else could.

Please be gentle with yourself for a while...


Much Peace and Compassion

Hi Sky Motion,

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but so glad you chose to share with us also.

There's not much I can add to what has been posted here already. Precog, jamie and Aegle in particular had some great advice I felt.

I just want to add that we all love you and are pulling for you. Nothing wrong with a good long break. I have learned so much from my integration periods.

I cannot say any trip has made me feel terribly suicidal, though I've been put through the ringer several times in my life. I've sworn off all psychedelics once and DMT three times, . Really, really rough rides have made me feel what I can only describe as a kind of existential despair. I think in a way you touched upon it when you wrote, " . . the mescaline re-showed me this cosmic joke and it wasn't funny one bit."

As has been mentioned here, this is a very tough time, but well worth hanging in there, staying alive for, etc., well worth seeing what's around the next corner, what comes tomorrow, etc. It may not seem like it, it may seem difficult, but please just table any dire ideas for awhile. I always say if it's a good and legit idea right now it will be in six weeks or even six months. During this time, why not grab life by the testicles? I always encourage folks recovering from a butt-whipping to be gentle with themselves, to seek things that affirm life, go camping, take a hike, seek good food and make homecooked meals, seek sexual gratification regularly, exercise, etc., etc. Be sure to eat and sleep regurlarly. Take good care of your body as your mind tries to heal.

Time is your ally - but you must be willing to take it, to wait it out and do the work of integration. I do hope you will keep us posted. Come to chat if and when you don't feel right - we probably cannot fix anything but at least you will be in a room of folks who know some of the territory.

Much love to you in this difficult time. Please do keep us posted.

Pychedelics will often show us this cosmic joke- and sometimes this knowledge can be empowering by relieving us of many of the burdens that we carry everyday. Sometimes this realization can be nothing short of ecstatic. But under the wrong circumstances this very same lifting of the veil can bring on a deep despair. The days following such an experience can feel like you are dwelling in the wreckage of your formerly meaningful life. I could see how all the headaches and vomiting might push the experience in a darker direction.

Part of the lesson, I believe, is that we need to seek meaning ourselves, and not expect it to just be inherently there. That's a tall order, as we are born and raised in a cultural paradigm where meaning is a thing we believe we are entitled to; much of this starts with religion but the assumption spills out into the secular world. To have this veil lifted is both a privilege and a curse- a privilege because we are freed of the truly meaningless things, like pursuit of flashy sportscars and such for ego gratification, and a curse because we are then burdened with finding our own meaning in life, which is no small task. It's a high price to pay, but ultimately very worth it.

Good luck, hang in there, and be patient. Integration of these kinds of experiences can be a real task... But it's likely that you'll look back at this moment a decade from now with great gratitude.

Thank you very much for the encouragement and fine words my friends, I am going to get a good night sleep and do a lot of re-evaluation in the time to come.

I'm so grateful to have the nexus, It's sad but I feel like you all are the only ones that can even start to understand..

I've had some really bad trips before but it's never gone in a suicidal way like this did and honestly it was too much to handle.

Will keep you all posted, much love.

I also had a strange trip from San Pedro Mescaline.

It was a horrid thing to ingest, the onset is long and the experience was just not as great as I was expecting.

If I would ever try mescaline again I would definitely not make a brew but just get capsules. I still have the cactii, it is now just a memory growing the yard.

I felt nauseous for hours until I cracked and just smoked a huge bowl. That was when the trip really began and I got visuals. Geometric patterns but it did not last long. For hours I felt as though I could only stare, I really didn't feel like speaking the whole time - just staring. It felt like I was really high on opiates and a small bit of mushrooms or something. It was a heavy yet light feeling - completely contradictory and difficult to explain. I wouldn't want to do it again (in that form) to be honest.

I remember feeling great the next day. Hope you wake up feeling awesome as well.

Sky, these things happen. They are hard, they test you - and they force you to grow. It's not just psychedelics, but life its self. There are of course many parallels between the two. Sometimes life makes the trips harder, and sometimes the trips make life harder, or some intergrade of the two - and these are certainly times (in my book) when life must go on for a while before going back and delving into the mind.

Now headaches... There's a thing I have EXTENSIVE experience with They have pushed me to states of mind that I thought I would never experience, and they really can throw you off centre. I have suffered head aches and migraines since I was a boy and I still experience them from time to time now, and they certainly have shaped me in subtle ways.

I find that synthetic phenethylamines (2CB / 2CI) give me terrible head muscle tension at higher doses which can really detract from the overall experience. I can imagine how an intense throbber would put a spanner in the works to a trip that was already on rocky ground, AND with a new substance.

I agree with you and the others, that now is a MOST opportune time to have a break. You have a lot of integrating and mental shuffling to do it seems at the moment, and psychedelics I feel may only exacerbate the situation. Remember that there are many many ways of exploring, expanding and healing consciousness that do not involve drugs that may be highly beneficial to you right now - Meditation, Yoga, even reading / listening to philosophy to name a few off the top of my head. Meditation has really helped my partner with her anxiety and depression recently, just by using simple mindfulness techniques for 10 mins twice a day. Once learned, these are lifelong skills

You remember on chat the other day when you said you wanted to go travelling and see the world? Do that! Now that my friend, is a profound journey that will rival (and beat) most psychedelic experiences. I think it is an important part of human experience, and being young you probably haven't got much tying you down at the moment. Seize the proverbial bull by the horns!

Feel free to shoot me a PM or hit me up on chat if you feel like you could use a friendly ear

The love i'm reading in this thread has givin me goosebumps. This is an amzing community! I cant really say anything that hasnt been said already except that along with taking some time away from entheogens, spend quality time with loved ones, exercise, and enjoy life. traveling sounds awesome!
2cb's have left me feeling unusually bummed for a day or 2 after the experience...it always trips me out because i've never had a bad trip, it's euphoric and arousing.
Remember you always have an outlet here free of judgement and full of members who have been through something similar or just understand and have empathy.

Yes but only once of many experiences and it was on mushrooms of course, the little buggers..I went into a deep depressive state and thought about how everything I've ever done has meant nothing. I had this realization about all humans as well..



Definitely, thank you Purges.



That's exactly how I feel about it.

the same thing happened to me with HBWR seeds, except also imagine that you cant move your limbs without searing pain. i swore off psychedelics, but i keep 6 of the seeds just in case...

Had a pretty similar experience on 2c-I this weekend. Keep keeping on brother. Life is worth living. Thoughts and prayers.

[]Deace

It was on a, what's the point of living level, I'm not sure what you mean by 'emotional level'..it made me emotional for sure.