300mg Syrian Rue Extract (dissolved in vinegar, capped using an eye dropper)
50mg DMT fumarate (dissolved in water, capped using an eye dropper, taken half hour later)
30mg DMT Smoked (an hour after taking oral dmt)

I had another utterly transcendent experience last night, a continuation of what I experienced here in the first Awakening, only this was more profound than the first. I am absolutely certain now that what I experienced was not a fluke, that something incredible really is happening. It was another earth quake of love event that shook the entire planet. I took a smoke, and the world began to quake again. Only this time, it was more controlled, more evolved. It was not a chaotic first contact like the last one. The consciousness of the earth is evolving, and growing. The first time it was scary, this time it was like, “oh my God…. I wasn’t wrong the first time, the earth really is waking up. The connection is stronger and more controlled now”.

The first clear vision I had when I smoked was the outline of a neon red and pink heart which encapsulated the earth. The outline of the heart was the connection that existed between all beings on the planet, and what I was experiencing was the conscious connection of all those beings. More people in the world were aware of what was happening this time, there was even more excitement. A psychic connection has been established with people all over the world. I still don’t know if anyone is consciously aware of it, but it doesn’t much matter. Somehow, I have tuned in to a frequency of the earth. All that matters is that the connection has been made, it doesn’t even matter if people are aware of it. That will come in time. Unfortunately for me, I don’t think I will be around for when this new era materializes. I think it is beyond my years. It doesn’t matter. The mere glimpse of it was more than I could possibly ask from life, surpassing my wildest expectations of what is possible. Not only that, but I know that I was part of it. The energy that I consciously put on to this planet helped make that connection. That is also an achievement that goes far beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. Whatever…. it doesn’t matter. Everything is perfect.

I became extremely aware of the presence of other people on the planet, especially Adyashanti and Jed Mckenna. When I thought the trip was over, I connected with Adyashanti, and he brought me to my knees again with transcendent love. I thought, “oh my God, Adya is the master. He is the greatest force of love on this planet, that I am aware of”. Then I thought, “but what about Jed Mckenna? He’s enlightened too… what of him?’ Then I felt the presence of Jed Mckenna, appearing not as a person, but as a bat, flying around in my consciousness. Jed was telling me that love is irrelevant, and truth is the only thing that matters”. I became a bit confused, I thought, “but I FEEL that love is more important than truth, but I KNOW that truth is more important than love. Truth contains love”. Then the presence of Adyashanti came back and took over, overpowering the force of truth, and Adya said, “no… love contains truth”. And at that point, Adya and Jed came together, instead of sort of being at odds with each other in their message, the message became one seamless message. Truth and love are not at odds, they are the same spirit. Love, if it is authentic, that is, if it is a search for unconditional love IS a search for truth. And the search for what we call truth, is a search away from the traditional definition of love. The search for truth is a hatred of anything that keeps you from truth. These two teachers are merely adept at teaching the dharma in different ways. Jed Mckenna is your guy if you feel hatred for life, including your own life. Adysahanti is your guy if you feel well established in the world. But likely, any person has lessons to learn from both guys.

What I want to express, what I want people to know is that it was LOVE that established this new connection, not hate. It was the spirit of co-operation, the spirit of connection, the spirit of learning, wanting to evolve and understand….. it was not the spirit of wanting to fulfill egoic desires. The spirit of true beauty, and unconditional love. This is not love in the traditional sense. I find it difficult to describe exactly what this love is. It is the spirit that there is no destination, only a love of the journey, and that there is ALWAYS the next step. That’s all there is, the next step. You take what you learn now, let that karma burn, love the past, love the present, and use what you have learned to create and manifest love in the future in to physical form. Imagine your consciousness is like a robot that is constantly seeking to improve itself and the collective universe at the same time. You are not at odds with the world, and it is not at odds with you. Learn to work with the universe, with people, with those who hate you, who want to destroy you. I’m not saying that hate doesn’t have its place either. I say change the definition of what hate is, as well as what love is. If you must “hate”, then hate only one thing….. untruth. Untruth is the only thing worthy of hating. Don’t hate things because they are at odds with you. If something is at odds with you personally, then see the truth of that obstacle, and come to love it…. With the spirit of creation in mind, not the spirit of gaining more and more control over the world. Control your consciousness! If your intention is pure, you WILL reap the rewards, whether you have control over the world or not. If you must control anything, there is really only one thing worth controlling, and that is your intention. Make your intention one of love. The problem is, a lot of people are lost. A lot of people honestly don’t know what love is. They think they know, but they don’t. What they feel is still an egoic wanting. The challenge is being able to reach such people.

I imagine most people think of love and community a lot like mafia families, to give an extreme example. They have very intense emotions, large dreams, they feel very “devoted” to family…. Watch Goodfellas, or any other mafia related movie. Do those people really love each other? Or are they just seeking greater and greater control and power? On the one hand, they do have a power to get things done and take care of their family, but it is done through corrupt means. I ask the same thing to government, police, army, etc. Sure, they may believe they have the peoples best intentions in mind…. But when it comes down to it, do they really care about the people, or are they just seeking greater methods of control over the world? I write this in an effort to reach out. If the controllers of the world could feel what I feel right now they would consider their silly controlling games to be utterly childish and silly. A far greater power is available that would make their extraordinary efforts to control not only seem silly, but actually counterproductive, and the enemy of what they truly seek.

I know some people may misinterpret these words, but it doesn’t matter. Some people will probably read this, and use it merely to FULFILL their ego even more. lol . I did the same thing when I read the power of now. It doesn’t matter. Whoever wants to be in tune with what I am expressing is free to.

I had visions last night that were so profound that I don’t quite have words or the energy to describe it yet. I want to. I feel that writing these words helps raise the consciousness of the planet, and that is my gift to the world….. bringing back what I have learned and manifesting it in to the “real world” through whatever means. But some things I can’t quite express yet. I will. What I will say though, is that even though I say this is all about “love”, it isn’t quite exactly. What I will say is that love is responsible for what is coming in the near future. Ultimately….. NOTHING matters. Love is irrelevant… and yet it is love that brings one to this realization. Damned peculiar.

The future is a future of self reliance, of learning for yourself what is true, and encouraging that in others. Yesterday I was walking down a street as the sun was setting behind me. A little girl was walking towards me and she was looking at me with a smile on her face. She was so cute, and I sent her a tremendous amount of love energy. I knew she could feel it. I can communicate with people in some ways, without words now. This is the new consciousness arising. I knew that she would be ok…. That her future will be far brighter than mine. I felt like she was my child, and though I don’t have biological kids of my own, the energy that I sent in to this child, to many children on the planet, is doing more than I ever thought I could possibly do for the future. It was a beautiful moment. I was consciously aware of it as it happened. Then when I had this smoked trip, that moment replayed in my mind, and I realized just how profound that moment was.

I titled this trip, “the never ending orgasm” because that’s what it was like. For about 4 hours last night, it was like my mind was orgasming over and over and over again, as I reached a frequency of consciousness that was off the charts compared to anything I have previously thought possible. Who knows how high this can soar…

Sounds amazing for sure, keep these quallity reports rolling !

wow , another adventure into the deep waters , and so soon after the first one

..thanks for sharing this Apoc..great trip!
did you happen to read in the Poll: What is 'deeper'...dmt or sex?

Yes, I suspect it will be this way from now on. I have been meditating A LOT for the past three months. To the point where I am meditating almost all the time, able to go full Buddha pretty much instantly, as well as reach very deep states just walking around, or exercising. Normal life has taken on a psychedelic quality, and the result is that actual psychedelic experiences have reached another frickin level.



This trip really was like an endless orgasm. I've been working with tantric energy. It's been about a month since I had an ejaculatory orgasm, but I've been having sex (which can be very difficult not to jizz), and meditating on orgasmic energy without any touch. After the strong effects of the smoke wore off, I went to lie down and used an aneros prostate massager.... which brought me to unbelievable, never ending orgasmic energy for a few hours. It was incredible. It has been a goal of mine to have sex while on ayahuasca. I tried it once, but I didn't really know the person, and it didn't really work out. Basically, I was nervous, couldn't get it up (dmt and harmala can make it very hard to get a boner), and jizzed as soon as my dick touched her. But worse was that I wasn't really getting the feel for the ayahuasca, or the sex because I was nervous, it killed the trip, as well as the sex. I just got a really dizzy and body buzzed feeling from the spice, but that's it. No visions, no cosmic orgasm or divine union like I was hoping for.

I think I am comfortable enough with both things to have tantric, ayahuascic sex now. Just have to find the right person. Lately, because of the place I'm at in life, I've been having one night stands, just having sex for the sex of it, but these aren't my girlfriends.... so I'm not really comfortable talking to them about psychedelics.... and most of them, if they knew just how fucking far out cosmic I can go, it would freak them out immensely. Anyway, sex and dmt are both very powerful, and combining them, if you can learn to work with orgasmic energy, will give you sexual heaven you never dreamed possible.

The universe likes sexual energy, if it is an expression of love. If it is a desperate grasping for approval, then not so much. It's just a matter of tuning in to the right frequency, coming to terms with ones sexuality.

I went to the gym today, and felt like the purpose of my life has been realized. I had to hold back tears of joy. The greatest thing I could ever accomplish has been done. To truly make conscious contact with spirit. Part of getting this far was meditation, sexual energy, pure intent, as well as going through a lot of pain through the process of life breaking my dreams and ideas of what life is. But lately, my will to break through my own limitations has been so strong.... the force of my will and the force of the sexual energy that I have been working with, combined with the intensity of the pain that I have felt... I would compare it to somehow coming up with the will to rise from the dead... and not only keep living, but phoenix from the ashes and soar the heavens. The result has been something that I never expected.

I went to see a Buddhist monk today. I remember when I was younger, I went to see this monk and he gave me a funny look. I had never seen him before, but it was like he knew me, like he was looking in to my soul. It was like he knew that I was going to look at him at that exact moment, like he was expecting it and knew how he was going to respond. It was a very odd experience for me at the time, and I didn't know what to make of it. Now I realize that he was operating from a certain frequency of consciousness. Buddha nature. Or, as some other circles call it, being "in state". Now I know what it means to be in that state, except I don't have to meditate heavily to get there. So I up walked up to this monk and gave him the same look that he gave me years ago. He smiled and nodded, like he did before. It's not that he consciously knew what he was doing, but in this state of Buddha nature, everything is a seamless unfolding, as if it were meant to happen that way, though you don't consciously know how or why it happens that way. I resonated with the frequency of the temple. I looked at the Buddhist statues and trinkets and thought, "soon Buddhists will be able to do away with the old cultural stuff". Buddha nature will begin to arise everywhere, not just in temples, churches, or meditation retreats. The unconscious frequencies of the universe are beginning to awaken.