Some of you may have noticed that for the past few months i have been a little...well, not just a bit edgy but more like..totally fucked-up. A few months ago, something happened in my cozy little world that hit me like a ton of bricks: someone threatened to harm a child , living in my neighbourhood. Ofcourse i always knew that there are people doing ugly things to childeren. I read the papers, listen to the radio and i watch the news. But when it comes close, when it involves childeren you know....it just changes your perspective on things entirely. At least, that is what it did to me. It put´s everything in another light, realy, i cannot put it any other way.
Before this incident, if you would have asked me in what kind of world i would want to live in, i would maybe have answered something like 'a place where i can use psychedelic´s legally'. Now my answer would more be like 'a place where nobody can get away with hurting defenceless childeren'.
I live in a cozy little suburbian world where nothing ever happens. I have never seen a child die or get hurt. And to be honest...i would rather suffer ten million realy horrible bad trips than to ever have to witness something like that. I know that most of you must have had a few bad trips in their lives but trust me, i´m dead serious. A bad trip means nothing on a scale of terrible things if you´d ask me now.
Like i said, it realy changed my perspective on everything. I don´t think i can put it into words. You either understand my perspective or you have become so totally jaded that you can´t understand it and you never will. How shocking it actually is, how it can hit you a thousand times harder than the worst bad trip on any substance ever, that there are people out there who actualy like to hurt little childeren.
Well, for the past few months, a part of me just wanted to live in an underground bunker and to keep all of the outside world out with landmines, barbwire and machineguns. I mean this metaphorically ofcourse. I´ve seen that hitlermovie and it gave me the impression that in the real world, living in an underground bunker isn´t as charming as it may seem.
But anyway...i´m back. Out of the bunkerzone and back into the light.
Not that i will be spending as much time here as i used to, because my life is pretty busy right now and it is likely to stay that way for at least the coming few years. But in a very positive way actually, so don´t worry about me. I just wanted to say that i´m sorry for the messed-up kinda behaviour and stuff, and to say high to all of you peeps.