Hey all, I tried DMT for the first time last night.
Id been contemplating and learning about DMT for the past 5 months or so. Ive been lurking here, reading stories and reports for just as long.
I found out about DMT at a difficult time in my life. I have struggled with anxiety and social issues for quite a few years, which has involved a lot of inner struggles. Ive missed out on a lot of things, lost some others. Saying that, I am doing better with it now than any other time since they became an issue. I also lost my youngest sister, a great friend to me around 18 months back. I think it would be fair to say I have never been as spiritual as I am right now.
I have experimented with various substances in the past. MDMA, Cocaine, Canabis. Each of those, for me personally, left me with a dire view on drugs. If anything, now I am a bit of a health freak with what I consume.
DMT had a grip on my focus from the moment I heard about it. The mysticism of it, I do believe I read a quote from somebody who researched it saying it was the closest thing they had found to god. Ive read you can learn a lot about yourself whilst under the influence. This is particularly fascinating to me. Being somebody who has phobias he understands, but struggles to accept, I hope to challenge myself towards being an open traveller whilst on DMT. And with the spiritual side, if I can feel any sense of 'the other side' then that might give me something to believe, with regards to my sister. I feel I need something to believe in. Whats on offer in the mainstream simply does not or never will appeal to me. In a way, I hope to have a spiritual journey that will allow me to feel my sister.
Id be interested to know your views, if these are bad reasons for me to want to try DMT. Id also like to know your own reasons. How DMT has changed your perception?
I only tried it the once last night. I dont want to break through yet, I am a little anxious about it. But I felt a lovely feeling of euphoria, no open eyed visuals, but I saw a humongous grid with my eyes closed. It must have been miles away, but it was so detailed, in neon green. I felt a loving presence to my right. I didnt know which to focus on. I felt amazed by the grid and closeness to whatever would have been to my right. It was all over so quickly I didnt have time to really make a choice. Next time I will make my second hit as big as my first!
I wont rush back in, I decided against trying some this evening. Maybe in a few days