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Humiliated by God - Ayahuasca Experience Options
 
nickynack338
#1 Posted : 10/22/2012 2:07:55 AM

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This is my second journey with ayahuasca and WOW! was it productive.
-80 grams Caapi cooked for 2x 3hrs.
-7 grams Chaliponga cooked for 3x 1hr.
-Chaliponga was taken 10 minutes after Caapi.

The experience started off slow. I only began to get CEVs at around the 40 minute mark and OEVs about 10 minutes after. Though, like my last journey there was an unmistakable presence in the room from the moment I drank it. The purge took awhile to come. I was begging, even arguing with this presence asking for it to let me throw up. The nausea was really bad and I was confined to the fetal position by my toilet. There was more than just nausea, my bones and muscles ached and I was unbelievably tight. At one point (I had lost my sense of time now) I became possessed in a way. I walked back and fourth yelling and brooding in a language I couldn't identify. It sounded slightly Eastern but also Elf-like, it was also very melodic because at times i would sing it rather than speak it. I was so angry, I have never been this angry in my life. I would incessantly rub my whole body as if I were trying to wipe off some substance covering me, still speaking this language. If anyone had seen me they would think I were mad!

When the purge finally came It was very very violent. I had not eaten a lot that day but the quantity of the purge was huge! It was like trash day for my cells, dumping all the shit they didn't want inside me. Afterwords i felt a great sense of accomplishment and reward. I got into the bath and turned on some music because I thought my trip would begin to wind down, boy was I wrong! While in the bath I kept having to spit and my nose was very drippy. I felt as if I were an antenna connected to the source of all intelligence. I was spewing knowledge out of my mouth. Before I even knew what I was saying, I was speaking it. I could only understand was I was saying by hearing it through my own ears. It focused on the fact that human beings were so small and insignificant in the scheme of things (though it also made clear that we were NOT unimportant or useless.)

This went on for a very long time but eventually I started to drain the tub, but I didn't get out. As the water began go down the drain, so did my humanity. I began to panic because I could not leave the tub, and everything I held dear was leaving. Finally, both tub and I were empty. I had no thoughts, no identity, I was just this simple shell with no purpose. I stayed here for awhile and kicked the tub faucet with my foot to refill the tub. As the water began to fill the tub again, all my humanity began to return to me. That was an utter mind-fuck to say the least. All of my neurons began to reconnect and I could feel each and everyone of them. My mind was filled with chaos, I couldn't even try to keep up with my own thoughts. When my identity was stable I realized, although we are tiny beings in the scheme of existence, we are some damn complex creatures with amazing capabilities.

I was to describe this whole experience as humbling, but even that word carries pride with it. I was humiliated in the presence of the highest power/s. This only covers a fraction of what this experience showed me, but it truly was positive and life changing.
 

Live plants. Sustainable, ethically sourced, native American owned.
 
Julz
#2 Posted : 10/23/2012 5:12:55 PM

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Humiliated or Humbled?

Interesting report though... especially the bath.
 
Strangeling
#3 Posted : 12/7/2012 8:14:15 AM

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Wow...Have you ever seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? With Johnny Depp? You trip kinda reminds me of the bathtub scene in that movie! But yours wasn't as dark. I have also had a similar experience with Aya in a bath tub, glossolalia and all. The strange jabber language I was speaking seemed almost demonic, but some of the stuff that was coming out of me seemed like deep life truths or divine lessons. It scared the crap outta me. I thought I was possessed! But I had friends outside the bathroom door who were concerned and after I got some of my wits back I got dressed and they re-assured that I was still me. It helped a lot! They told me that the sadness I felt after realizing the avarice of humanity(one of the divine lessons) was meant to be and that I had that specific trip for a reason. Saw what I saw because I needed to see it...I took a lot of time to integrate it all. After a while I realized that sometimes difficult trips can have long lasting positive effects as long as you don't dwell on the freaky parts!

Every now and then though its good to be humbled.
And its kinda funny when you think about it...the dominant species of this planet, Man in all his conquests and glories brought down to his knees, retching and made to kneel before Aya, a combination of two plants and water...
Wink
When you're strange...faces come out of the rain...When you're strange...no one remembers your name...
 
nickynack338
#4 Posted : 1/21/2013 6:16:35 AM

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Thank you for the great reply. I have seen Fear and Loathing, and I love it. Every experience i have had with aya I have had the glossolalia, though this was the only time I have felt possessed. This was definitely one of my most profound experiences. I'm both scared and excited by the intensity of ayahuasca.
And yes. It is amazing what mother nature comes up with to show us where we belong.
 
 
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