My first DMT experience was incredibly intense beyond words and I would not in anyway call the trip pleasant, there were significant parts that were beyond terrifying, so scary I can't even describe it but... I need to go back 0.o something in my very core is ushering me to return and I can't help but think I'm going to be punished in some way for doing so, it feels like I'm trying to find answers in the wrong places, it told me to find answers in myself but part of me is also trying to understand what I went through, I don't want this to be a 'Ok oh one more time' and that turn into 'OH OK ONE MORE TIME'

Can someone please give me some advice on what to do on this matter, my head and heart are both saying different things and I'm just not sure.

Stone sober or high as a kite, it's the same heart. There's a lot to be said for facing one's fears with courage and unyielding will, whatever the circumstance. One may find revelation in the DMT flash, but one finds wisdom in the passing seasons.

My first experience was also an overall unpleasant one. One of the first intelligible things I said when I came out of it to my friends was "I don't think I need to do this again."
It's funny that it came about that way because when I first found out about DMT I thought I had found what I had been looking for since I was very very young. That yearning to find out something, something bigger than reality.
But after letting several months pass I think I'm where you are right now, but I'm more convinced to jump in again, BUT with a different outlook on it.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen "set and setting" on here, and it's true, it just has to be. Part of that set and setting though is you. You have to know your intentions with yourself, you should also know quite a bit about yourself as well since you've taken it once. I know that my experience showed me to familiarize myself with relaxing techniques, and that even though I have a solid frame that my mind and psyche sit on that I needed to gain a whole level of control of it.

There are many ways to gain more control. Meditation should definitely be something you look into.

If you're saying deep down at the core of you "i need to do this again" for whatever reason, then I think you should conquer yourself and in turn surrender to whatever is to come from it.
But if you're anything like me, giving advice is the easiest thing to do, but to take it is a whole other thing

Pick a good day, find a bit more of yourself, and then give in. Best to you

Personally I try to keep in mind that the DMT experience is ultimately for my own personal correction and serves only to my benifit.

IMO if a person really and truly focuses their intention on getting as much as they can out of the experience for the purpose of personal spiritual development then there is little that can stop that person from progressing at a very rapid and fluid rate of advancement..

BE patient, be yourself and most importantly pay close attention to every single detail that you can possibly asbsorb during the experience. Every moment of the DMT trip is a miraculous opportunity of infinite possibility.

The DMT experience represents the pure potential of cognitive possibilities IMO

-E