While my thoughts on this matter haven't really changed since this post:
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...&m=340966#post340966 a bit earlier in the thread, there are some new things being discussed here that have pushed me to chime in once again.
A running theme here for me is that there are
precious few things I am absolutely certain of in the grand sense... most other things, including things I hold dear and see extremely clearly have the ability to
flip from true to illusion to true to illusion and often settle in some nether state of
true-illusion.
A side effect of this is that I can often see both sides of most debates and find myself squarely on
both sides. I was always able to argue a debate from either side and was often able to win on both sides. (Debate rests to a great degree on skill with logic and syllogisms and not in being correct IMHO)
So, in the interest of Devil's Advocacy, let me share some alternative point of views on what is being championed and discussed here:
1)
Elitism & exclusivityWhen I am honest with myself, I find I have no problem with elitism and wonder why so many people go so far out of their way to avoid it... or more accurately avoid being perceived as elitist. The fact, that we tend to gloss over in this faux-altruistic PC world we inhabit, is that
people are NOT all equal.
This stings a bit, but it is obviously true. We can not all run the 100m like Usain Bolt. We can not all calculate 9 digit multiplications in our heads. No amount of practice is going to turn a severely mentally retarded child into the next Fermi or Spinoza.
Some of us are stronger than others. Some are more learned. Some of us have decades of intensive experience. Some of us just discovered this realm this year. We are not equal with each other as psychonauts... how much more so with people who live in plastic little boxes, believe in law & order, and hit the drive-thru KFC on the way back from church?
We ARE an elite group. And those of us who have managed to have and integrate super-consciousness breakthrough experiences into our sense of self are an elite group within this group.
I see no problem with this. Denying it and thinking we have to be "open" to and respectful of people who have no idea what they are talking about here... is foolish. Not in the good way that I mean in my name. Not in the "controlled folly" of sir Don Juan Matus... but slightly
idiotic.
Sorry if this is not what you want to hear. But we wouldn't consider being "open" to letting Kindergarten kids drive sprots cars on the autobahn would we? We accept elitism when it is about who gets to be in the mission control room for JPL launches and who can conduct experiments at the Large Hadron Collider... this is not really much different in principle.
I find that the insecurity and guilt that prompts people to forgo elitism is unhealthy. Worse, it diminishes the value of titles and groups that deserve to be elite. If everyone who goes twice a week to karate class for 3 years gets a black belt and is called a master... the word is now meaningless. The true masters of the world don't deserve to be debased by being equated with people who worked out for a few hours a week when they weren't selling toilet paper or parking cars.
I am an elitist. And proud the f*ck of it.
2)
BreakthroughsI have as much love for the old B-thru as anyone else around here. I also agree with the whole chorus that if you haven't experienced it... you have
no idea what you are talking about and should probably keep your opinions to yourself. No offense.
"Who feels it knows it, lord." - The great
Robert Nesta Marley (better known as
Bob)
And yet, I
don't find that the breakthrough of the breakthrough is actually the most useful or even impressive of the states that can be achieved with spice. As my esteemed brethren have so elloquently already stated about this, that merging into the void... that coming face to face with infinite divinity and then having the last border drop and finding only the infinite as your very self... this is life changing stuff. If it doesn't change your life, you are either exceptionally hard headed, didn't quite get there, or have simply forgotten the bulk of what happened (typical with entheogens as well as dreaming).
This is all more than true IMO. And yet...
I find that relatively light doses of spice, especially when combined with other entheogens and dissociatives, provide visions of impossible beauty, entity contact, and all with a much higher recall factor. Thus, a non-breaktrhough trip where you are still aware of your body and could easily open your eyes to dispel it can often be more profound than the full on forgot who I am trip. I have been able to bring a shitload of useful stuff from various hyperspaces by trawling the shallows over and over again.
For me... and I acknowledge that this is personal subjective opinion... and it is also not static for me as I am liable to change my mind tomorrow... For
me... getting to the edge of a K-hole type experience on a disso with a dash of LSD, meditating in the dark for few hours and THEN smoalking micro hits of spice with the occasional N20 balloon interspersed can take me so ridiculously far down 9 adjacent rabbit holes simultaneously that even my heroic Aya doses have trouble comparing. Furthermore, it is all rather comfortable this way, and I can easily flip on a light to scribble notes as it is happening. Thus, I can bring back gems of wonder that I can use in my artistic endaeavors and find solutions to my real life issues.
I can
thoroughly question entities who might not be the supernal oneness of all creation... but
are considerably wiser and more knowledgeable than humans... and
remember what they told me!!
3)
Gifting, sharing, and bestowing spiceHere is a subject that I flip-flop on from week to week and one that my feelings on have undergone a number of very profound evolutions since I was in a position to consider such things.
When I first smoalked spice, it broke me so thoroughly open that I was not remotely normal for a couple weeks. I could barely tolerate being forced to live in this hollow empty shell of a world and play like anything here made a bit of difference. All I wanted was to be back in the company of those glorious beings that I had communed with in a time that literally stood still for 6 or 7 creation and destruction of the Universe cycles. (I was already on 500 mics of good L, 2 brownies of dubious power, and perhaps 5 grams of cubensis... and my lungs are such that I can take huge doses and hold them indefinitely.)
I needed to talk about this, so I did. Later on, people would ask me about DMT and I would tell them my impression (setting the bar impossibly high for most of them).
Somewhat later than this, I became "apprenticed" to an ayahuascero and had the privilege of doing aya nearly every day for the better part of a year. (We had solid access to wild Caapi and Chacruna) As this time went on, we conducted numerous circles where we gave our brew to many people of many walks of life, and I came face to face with the responsibility of giving this elixir to people. I don't regret any of that, and I feel it did them all a heap of good... in the long run anyway. I had no problem sitting there and giving reiki to people who were curled in fetal positions screaming like their lives depended on it... and talking people down from some pretty scary precipices.
My decision to never lead such circles again came in the late 90's when I had a group that I couldn't seem to trust. I had informed them of the diet and been especially strict with questioning them about breaking the MAOI rules... and even still, after the third time asking I knew someone was holding back. So I took this young woman aside and asked in my most serious "I will f*ck you up if you lie to me" voice one last time. In this private conversation she admitted to me that she took anti-psychotic medication and anti-depressives daily, and had consumed both chemicals within the last 24 and 12 hours respectively.
Needless to say, I was somewhat pissed... while understanding her reticence to have all the people there know she had mental health issues. But more importantly I realized I had dodged a bullet. If she had drank the brew and died from some combination of toxic shock syndrome and serotonin syndrome... I don't know what I would have done.
Then and there, I became a clam about DMT and other hallucinogens for a while. When I decided to open up again it was only to very close friends and people I judged to be worthy... and only in small groups or one on one.
That was pretty much my M.O. for quite some time... but then my feelings started to change again. I went through a phase of thinking that anyone who really belongs in Hyperspace will figure it out for themselves (the existence of sites like this was a big push in that direction as the information was relatively easy to come by now).
But, another feeling came up as well where I realized I had the power to shatter people's worlds and that a lot of people needed this... even if they had no idea that they did. How could someone even know they wanted to have such an experience without having had something along those lines already?
There is also something profoundly heady of knowing you have the power to alter someone... permanently perhaps. It is not PC to admit that this is a good feeling, but it is. There are a few of my dearest friends who still come up to me and laughingly imitate their first feeble words to me after having their world shattered... generally something to the effect of "I'm never going to be the same..." The love between us is deep and I can't say the world would be better off if I didn't take it upon myself to explain to, nudge to accept, and administer to these lovely people what was, in fact, a life changing experience for them.
My feelings are that many people who actively sought out DMT and thought they could handle it... were destroyed by it. Meanwhile people who had no concept of it, but
I deemed, in
my judgment, would benefit from it... generally did.
How to deal with this?
There is no easy answer. Especially when you factor in the illegality of this stuff in most countries. Even if you wanted to share it far and wide, even talking openly about this stuff in some communities can get you in a world of trouble. Most police departments view extracting a bit of spice from some plant material to be manufacturing a schedule I... a felony.
So, what should we do?
I don't know. And I honestly think that none of you do either. This is not an insult. I just think that there are no easy pat answers here. You have to learn to trust your
intuition and
err on the side of caution.Well, that is about long enough to be an attorney for the Devil. I relinquish the remainder of my time to the esteemed psychonaut from another location on this Gaia organism to follow.
HF
"Curiouser and curiouser..." ~ Alice
"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it." ~ Buddha