Hello community.

I'll start by saying I am glad to have such a resourceful place such as nexus.
I joined last Aug or Sept. I had my first breakthrough two months later. It scared the living daylights out of me. The fact that everything i thought i knew was turned upside down maid me question who and what I was. So i ran away from it. I couldn't handle the truth when i thought i could at the time.
I had to start a new profile with nexus because i had totally forgotten what my old screen name was. I looked for it but had no luck and don't know how to retrieve it.
I guess its a good thing because Ive learned a lot and its kind of like a new beginning.
I came back because It keeps coming back to me. I tried to ignore it but i couldn't.
Its in my dreams and pops up randomly from the least expected places.
So for the last year Ive been trying to find my spiritual place in this realm. Ive studied all religions i could get my hands on and also dug into metaphysics , quantum physics, anatomy and other subjects. It really seems like it all ties together somehow and the ancients knew more than we give them credit. Also many of them had DMT and IMO I think its probably helped mankind advanced to were we are in the present.
Anyways Im gonna face my fear and open the door i slammed shut a year ago. Any hints on not being afraid of it. I guess its the feeling of being helpless and alone w entities poking you. not to forget the feeling of wondering if your dead or gonna die. It felt like real wasn't real and that realm was real and Ive been their many times before.
Glad to receive any input. I would gladly read anyone's opinion on how they feel toward dmt.

Hi Steven. My first breakthrough was really terrifying. I felt so good after I came back because I WAS HAPPY TO BE ALIVE. I thought at first that I'd never be able to try it again. But you know what? The next day I sat down with the rest of that bowl and had a little heart-to-heart with the spice. I said "I don't want to be afraid of you. I know nothing in there can harm me. I want to see what it's all about, I'm just curious, that's all, so this time when I go back in, turn on the lights please?" And I vaped right there, the very next day after I'd sworn never to touch it again! And it was absolutely beautiful.

I felt a bit confused so I asked for reassurance and got a huge cosmic hug from infinite beings in hyperspace. They laughed and smiled with me and I never wanted to leave. So the second breakthrough has the potential to be the polar opposite for you, if you want it to be. You need to ask, be forceful before you go in and set an intention of what you want to experience. Don't fear the baddies, they are the tricksters of legend there to spook you into accepting that we all have a dark side and a light side. Give in to the light. And if you can't see, ask for someone to flip the pretty colors on, they'll gladly entertain! I'm so glad I went back. Facing your fear is all you have to do.

Love and Light

Thanks!! you talk about the baddies.... can i get them to go away?? also if my soul was getting pulled apart from the baddies does it hurt it or not?

I just know whatever i saw was real. it wasn't like taking shroom tea and hiding on the couch. this was a different realm with intelligent beings all around me, good and bad .

Have you had a bad experience since your second visit with spice?

Hey Steven awesome to hear that you faced your fear! A year and a half ago me and some roommates got ahold of some DMT and all ended up breaking through that week. I had a cosmic unity trip but my roommate had 3 good breakthroughs, went for a fourth, and got hyperslapped so bad he didn't touch psychs for a year.

I thought my trip was super intense(although blissful) and I had no desire to use DMT again anytime soon. Although, deep down I knew that I would use it again. More than a year later, much like you, after studying tons of religions and sciences and practicing meditation to integrate I sat down for another breakthrough. This 2nd breakthrough was not quite as intense yet still knocked my socks off! It built off the revelations and life-shattering ideas from the first breakthrough. It also cemented the fact that DMT would be a part of my personal growth in the future.

You're among friends now and you have all the resources to continue with the best intentions and flow towards the best outcomes. Welcome to the nexus!

thank you! Im glad to have found this forum. Im working on some Brazil spice and trying to get pure white . Having a little trouble with the re-x with naphtha ,and how in the hek do you get big crystals?
All Im getting are little balls of spice and when I re freeze precipitate I seem to lose spice.

Anyways ,you talked about practicing meditation. I think that's one of the main reasons I came back. I started really getting deep into meditation and training my so called third eye. It shocked me when I started having visuals and the more I med the more intense the visions got. So this opened up a door of strong curiosity and pushed me to try and find out more.
Im just glad to have my nuts back, I was starting to worry If Id ever find them again