First off, I would like to thank all the current members of the Nexus. I stumbled upon this collective of wisdom and knowledge while searching for answers about the next step in my journey. After spending hours reading topic after topic I am left extremely impressed with the level of respect and caring shown to the preparation, to each other, and the journey itself. What started as quick search for what I thought was simple answers has lead me to more information then I knew was available. I am by no means new to hallucinogens or psychedelics but I have much to learn and discover.
I am 31, at the age of 19-20 I first ventured into psychedelics with psilocybin. Immediately I was drawn to its ability to unite intimate groups who shared the experience. After further exploration I learned how it opened doors beyond my consciousness and to my subconscious. Due to my own fear and skepticism of the contents I was always weary of taking chemicals or synthetic psychs. Although I was always intrigued and had desire, I never sought out other naturals such a peyote and san pedro.
Last Halloween was the tipping point which has lead me to test the waters of other realms. I was spending one last hurrah at a show with good friends before I moved away for a season to CO. I was thoroughly enjoying myself with MDMA I had ingested when a close friend of mine offered me LSD. Due to bad trip horror stories I had always feared it and therefore turned it down for years. But for some reason that night was different. I gave in willingly. At the peak of my experience I was changed forever. I will not go into unnecessary details of the trip, but I will say time stood still for me that night. For the first time I experienced the full power of my consciousness. As a sober friend drove me home I went in and out of reality and time started and stopped on a whim. At one point I questioned if I were still alive. Those were the thoughts that I always feared would plunge me into a terrifying experience. Instead a wave of acceptance washed over me. At that point I realized that my physical realm and all the daily stresses were trivial. As I accepted the possibility of my death my only concerns were losing contact my close family and friends, some of who I hadn't spoken to in months. This experience clarified my priorities in life and my responsibilities to the ones I love. From that point on, I knew that the many questions I always needed answered were inside me and I needed to find them.
That same friend who facilitated this life changing experience is also a space/time traveler. After sharing my experience and enlightenment with him he later offered me a next level experience. It took overcoming much trepidation from myself and calming explanations from him before I decided to try DMT. Then I realized my journey was limitless. Since, I have been part a few sit-ins where he administered the spice as well as set the mood and environment to allow safe travels.
I have recently acquired some spice for my own consumption and came across the Nexus as I looked for information and methods to create safe experiences. As I have said I was excited to find the level of sincerity and acceptance I found while reading different topics throughout the Nexus.
For instance while reading the welcome page, FAQ's, and "rules" regarding attitude and topics of acceptable to discuss, I realized I may have acquired my spice improperly. I will just say it was not given to me. My friend who I trust is ready and willing to facilitate but is a little over bearing and wants to control the experience. I was given the impression getting it is a complicated process held dear and not taught many. Therefore in order to journey on my own, I had to compensate a foaf to posses spice I could use freely. After reading about how negatively this is viewed among members of the Nexus, I long to read and study and prepare my own extractions. Thankfully full resources are provided in this community to help me do just that.
Again, Thanks to existing members for creating this wealth of knowledge to assist and guide me along my self enlightenment. I look forward to being an active member of this community while I learn and share.
I believe in a long prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown - Jim Morrison