Greetings, I want to start off by thanking whomever made this board(as long as it wasn't a covert government project ). Regardless of who it was, I am grateful for the opportunity to learn more about spice.

I've had experience with various other psychoactives, and watched a few documentaries on DMT and ayahuasca, and believe now is the time for a "vision quest" for myself in the wild, involving some fasting, and culminating with an ayahuasca ceremony. I'd like to be far away from all humans, and not have to be self-conscious like I tend to about other things. I have had some very difficult anxiety issues I have been dealing with, and besides wanting to find out about my life's path, I am hoping to be one of the people blessed to be healed through their journeys.

Of course I am going to be scouring the board and seeing what people write about their ethnobotanical experiences, as I have seen enough complain that theirs didn't work. I hope that seems noble enough for someone driving days into the wilderness to do this.

I want to learn as much as I can both here and on the other side, and intend to pay it forward. I thank any who help me cross the bridge(that's where I came up with this username just now), and hope to be helping others as soon as possible.

Edit: I wanted to mention some of the other things I am into. I'm interested in understanding what we label "spirituality"/"science"/"the occult", and other things generally neglected in modern, Western culture. Nootropics and other substances that can naturally enhance brain functionality are of interest to me as well. Although I've neglected my health in terms of diet(although I've always been in decent shape), I have started to get a bit juicing, and have done some EPIC water fasts, and even one dry fast, which taught me things I couldn't believe were possible for the human body to do.

I'll end with my biggest disappointment with my inner journeys (in hopes maybe someone else can relate, and maybe others may have advice) : I don't remember most of them. That pains me more than I can describe, because it is as if they never even happened, other than the negative baggage that often is attached with my situation. I hope to make some friends on here, and now the first part of my mission is finding the legal ingredients for my brew from whomever seems like the best. Wish me luck!

Sooo what sort of inner journies are we talking about? Meditative? chemically induced? What type of brew were you interested in preparing?

What is your past experience with entheogens?

We look forward tto hearing more from you in the future.

Thank you for the introduction,

ih

Welcome to the Nexus.

I also don't remember most of it. Meditation or chemically induced. Although my dream recall isn't too bad. I think this is mainly a result of many years of chronic MJ smoking. I am cutting back on my smoking and looking into nootropics (and just mental "exercise" to boost short term memory.

Will let you know if I have success in the future.

Even though I don't remember what I processed/experienced I feel the benefits. Eg if I shift a conditioning that has been limiting me, even though I don't remember what I came to understand about it, that sense of liberation is still there. For this reason alone, I am not to bummed about the vague recollections.

I want to thank both of you for replying to me, and also want to apologize for not replying sooner. I tend to get weird about things I find important, and find reasons to put them off. Anxiety is one thing I'd hope ayahuasca could help me with.

I also wanted to mention a couple of nights after joining/creating this thread, I watched a movie entitled The Last Mimzy, which I had on my hard drive for a long time amongst other movies but always skipped over it when making a selection. For some reason that night I wanted to watch it. Turns out the protagonists had to create a bridge that spanned the universe, and that really struck me as I've never used this screen name until a couple of nights before that. I've read many places to make note of coincidences, that they have meaning, although I have no idea what that one meant. Maybe just that the timing really was right to try the aya?

IceHouse, all of those categories of journeys have brought great disappointment, although I have had some good ones from substances. However most of them either didn't do much, or caused me to black out and forget....like the entire thing. Possibly even having a seizure, as I woke up in odd places on the floor, feeling quite comfortable though(from dxm). One time I was on all 4's and became aware suddenly and heard myself talking about myself in the 3rd person. That was odd, and i bit disturbing. I've also tried some epically elongated fasts, and was saddened to not have any sort of breakthrough.

My past entheogen(or things similar) experiences include shrooms, dxm, lsd(or things posing as it), mary jane, and 1 experience with salvia(it was good, i should have done more). I also tried diphenhydramine when I learned people could trip on something I could obtain cheap as heck at the dollar store I haven't touched any of that since last fall though. I haven't even had a beer in 3 months and have fasted and otherwise detoxed, and plan to do such pretty hardcore once I have to supplies and head to the wilderness for my vision quest.

As for the brew I wish to prepare, I would like it to be the traditional ayahuasca I have heard about, B. caapi and P. viridis. I realize us Westerners tend to call any mix of DMT and MAOI "ayahuasca", but I if plants have individual spirits, I heard this was more gentle and predictable. I am curious to hear any reasons why mimosa, syrian rue, etc would be better substitutes. If I can afford it right now, I may order some of them as well. I dont want to come home feeling like a failure.

Zanexx, thanks for sharing your experiences with me. It's good to know, someone else has had similar memory problems as myself. I don't smoke so much, but did during a good amount of my trips, although I've added nootropics like piracetam, choline, etc to try to help me remember better. I'm not sure how much they helped. Of course each of us is unique, and I'm wondering if my brain got shortchanged when it came to this?

I hear what you are saying about having the effects without remembering, and I feel I have had some good stuff too, although not sure how much of that I integrated. Living in an apartment building with thin walls and floors and not trusting my subconscious when it is unchecked and rocket fueled, well that gave me more anxiety on top of what the substances sometimes did. That's why I want to do this vision quest in the wilderness where I can laugh or cry or scream as loud as I want to. I wish I lived in a house where I could do this without worry...same thing for the smell of the cooking.

I would like to hear if the cutting of the smoking and nootropics help your memory.

I want to thank both of you for responding and if anyone else reads this, I beckon you to jump in as well. I've put this off way too long, and now intend to order some stuff as soon as I can find which suppliers have the best reputation for things working, combined with prices. I'll check the supplier area, but anyone feel free to chime in here. I am grateful for this board as a resource, and for all the members as companions helping me on my journey that so far has been very intimidating.