Some of you may or may not have noticed me bitching about on the site regarding how I don't receive experiences anymore. No visuals, and no body vibrations.

So I decided to abstain from cannabis for 2 days.

I cleaned out my room thoroughly while listening to smashing pumpkins. I stuck up new artwork. I was feeling really content and refreshed. I really wanted to vape as soon as I got off from work But I just knew for some reason I should wait a bit..

I had some nag champa incense scraped off the stick, and dumped onto a copper ashtray shaped like a leaf, with a crystal pointing towards my cross legged body sitting upright on the bed.

I ate an apple.

I took off my beanie in an attempt to focus on opening my third eye.

I only had two songs on repeat, both Nine Inch Nails - and though some of you may not dig that kind of vibe might I just add that without these two songs I might not have experienced what I just did. They are both instrumentals and I highly recommend anyone to listen or implement -
1. 2 Ghosts 1 - the ghosts album
2. Just like you imagined - the fragile left album

I put the lights out completely. The darkness was one hundred percent consistent with my eyes closed or open. The only source of light I had was my lighter and the small screen on my 3 CD HI-FI across the room.

So I began - I vaped 30mg in a machine type device attached to a plastic bottle to create a chamber and see how much vapors I was receiving.

I held the smoke in and closed my eyes (like it made a difference) and I saw stuff but nothing really. I opened my eyes and looked at my hifis screen.. I noticed a presence. My whole room got flooded with this cloak like thing it had on (or maybe part of its body)
or 'wings' I don't even know The room was HUGE like I was in this ABYSS of BLACKEST BLACK and there was another entity to my left. But the initial entity I saw was the most important, it was about 3 feet away from me and floating/hovering above me with the smoothest fluctuations of its appendages/wings/cloak, almost touching the roof and central to my vision. Its like it just opened its wings and embraced my entire aura. The most majestic being I have ever seen. And would you believe it if I told you, I couldn't even see it.

I decided to go again... I loaded up another 30mg. Weights are estimates measured by eye and using half a capsule container. I found for me, the amount I want is equivalent to how 100mg Molly would look. Except its obviously 30mg.


The reason I smoked again was to see the being and what it would show me
Little did I know
How scary death actually is.

Same set/setting except Before I smoked, I stated my intention of the trip - to annhilate my ego. And it happened. My ego just completely dissolved


For the first time in my life I have literally been brought down to my fucking knees.
I could have been in the middle of town during peak public times and I would have just collapsed into a heap on the pavement.
Its not even about visuals
Its not about physical feeling
Its about my mother and how fucking proud I am of all she has done for me. I realised just how little I showed my love towards her and 'told' her I'm so sorry for everything, the grief I have caused with my drug use even though she has only seen the tip of the iceberg, everything.
Undying love for the woman who brought me here and would do anything in her power to protect me. At this point I would have EASILY had someone slice my neck with a sword while on my knees to save her.

To experience EVERYTHING

The sunshine and oxygen

The sensation of fruit on our tongues

The smiles that surround us everyday

The mountains, seas and skies

Its all worth it.

I've NEVER experienced emotions like I just did
Ever.
And I wish she was here right now so I could tell her how much I love her. I couldn't even phone her because I'm out of airtime

This is not something to get high.. This is to understand what is UN-understandable and always will be UN-understandable. I don't even know if that makes any sense.

I don't believe us as humans will ever reach that peak of enlightenment. I think we will just keep on ascending.


I'm not even sure. It just felt like inevitable death of the physical state my consciousness is held in and complete mystery and apprehension to what would happen on the 'other side'. And it was nothing to be afraid of. Or feel sad about. It was life at the same time

I can't wait to receive this kind of emotion again. I am going to need some integrating though..

To quote Antrocles -

IT IS ONLY TO THE EXTENT THAT WE ARE WILLING TO EXPOSE OURSELVES OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO ANNIHILATION THAT WE DISCOVER THAT PART OF OURSELVES THAT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE.

Woah sounds amazing!


You need to get ahold of your mother!

I've always thought my parents are more godlike to me than anything, THEY created me, THEY give me undying love, and THEY will never allow harm upon me.

It sounds like you got exactly what this whole experience is about, at least to me. The true appreciation of sobriety and life, that is whats truly important!

Flippin' righteous report mate, that's what it's all about!

Can"t wait to hear more from you as time goes by..

Pscientist - You are right, although I wouldn't say I get it 100% as that would be a gross overstatement

Sadly I have yet to speak to my mom, my phone crashed by the time I woke up for work and neither of us have been at home. I'll see her tonight though and possibly tell her about my experience. She doesnt mind me working with dmt and salvia as long as it is for the benefit of spiritual enlightenment / healing. I have told her about 70% of my journeys already and showed her the Spirit Molecule doccie.

I had mixed feelings about posting this because of how deeply personal it is, but my motives are -

To inform anyone who has been experiencing vacant eyelids, to just -STAY AWAY FROM WEED- until you feel like your feet are back on the ground. You will know what I'm talking about if you are a daily smoker and have stopped before. I only stopped for 2 days and it was so worth it. I am going to try for even longer as I am dead sure I could have gone even further as well.


Sky Motion thanks I will add more experiences when the time is right.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

Respect to everyone <3

This was a beautiful read! Thanks for sharing!

Keep your mom close <3

I too Have had the part of me die. I await death as a release but it does not feel morbid or urgent. I just know that one day I will become one with an all knowing consciousness now.

I'm glad to hear you've had a seemingly similar experience.

I love you.

It's great to know I share the same views with other people.. I am going to have to give DMT a break now though I think.. My girlfriend just left me after 14 months to the day on Friday and I vaped too much and blacked out, I don't know how much I put in. Since then my trips are gone, even when I tried a 22x 150mg Caapi and 50mg DMT/Changa blend in the woods.. it sucks.

Its funny, when my mom heard about the break up she asked me: "You're not gonna break up with ME are you?" and I just smiled because I know that you cant choose family and I'm pretty grateful to have my mom.

So grateful for everything I have.

Thanks for the replies

LOVE YOU TOO

That's sad, I don't know if you've already tried, but do a nice cleanse, including a nice sit in the sauna and meditation, maybe a good massage if you can afford it.

I think the physical aspects of things affect your journey to higher consciousness, your body sort of knows when it's time to do something else. Or whatever.
I've never had a problem with dmt not working, but I've had issues with pot not getting me high anymore due to tolerance levels.
When this happens I go to the gym and work out, usually hitting the punching bag and speed bag, doing crunches, sit ups, and pull ups. I find this as the best way for me to exhaust myself. Usually during a cleanse I'm at the gym for about 6 hours those days, sitting in the sauna and eating bananas and drinking water. my actual workout lasts about an hour.

When I'm done with that cleanse I eat something unprocessed and what I would consider to be healthy. Like a salad and some rice and beans.

This helps my tolerance drop, and a dmt trip right after such a physically taxing journey Is pretty interesting for me too. Sometimes I just do a couple sets of pushups right before the trip to get my blood flowing nicely.

Honestly I don't know your entire situation, I'm sorry to hear that your girlfriend left, I hope it wasn't on bad terms, and I hope you're doing well coping with that.

Maybe you simply need more inner reflection before trying to blast off to hyperspace again? Maybe you're subconsciously trying to protect yourself from things you don't really want to see.


I hope all my useless babble helps somehow. I always hope my useless babble helps.

I dont mind reading anyones babble, it keeps my mind occupied. And a punching bag! now THERE'S a grand idea One I would not have thought of had you not "babbled" haha.. Ag ja its just how things go. Not really bad terms but it was done via text so I am left feeling a bit disheartened.

When I blacked out it was weird. I could feel the hit, I knew I vaped it perfectly in one lung, and started blowing out smoke. And then all of a sudden my head was turned the other way and I was still exhaling but there was no smoke and a few minutes had passed and I was sober. Like Dmt slapped me in the face and I was like Wha? How did time just make a mistake? Did everything really just glitch like that? Im sure I just smoked that dose... I did smoke that dose

The hardest part of the "trip" for me was coming back to my room and remembering that I had just taken out all her possessions and it felt like I was moving and empty. It definitely felt like my mind blocked whatever input it was receiving for my own mental health, and I'm actually so amazed by this substance that it takes you as a person into consideration as well - I really believe it does that.

But yeah.. So what. A door closed. That doesn't mean I have to slam my fingers in it repeatedly, I'll just find a new one to pry open. Or better yet one with a furry welcome mat