So I'm going to talk about some real stuff here.

In May one of my fraternity brothers was misusing LSD and was having a rough time, and ended up driving into the bay and subsequently died. I have always known and understood that this is a tool, not a toy. I told my friends, and brothers this many times. Now it is known.

So its been a little rough, I mean, I love LSD, but when your favorite chemical is associated with the death of a friend, as well as the over all weight of that, you kinda don't want to do it. Questioning the use of it, am I delusional in my beliefs of what I achieve.

So I decided to do it. I broke up a tab into 1/4s and took them as I felt comfortable. These tabs are crazy strong. 1/4 had me with trails within 20 minutes.

My girlfriend drove me to a Botanical Garden which was an amazing place, brought me lots of peace and inspiration for architecture. By the time I was there I had already taken half and some how when I was there took the other half. On the way back I started to feel anxious and a lot of negative emotions and thoughts. I don't know how else to explain it. I felt guilty over missing a phone call from my friend. I'm kind of the guy people call to calm down or whatever, and I guess he was having a bad time and needed help, and I was unable to give him that help. I somehow mustered up the sense to tell myself over and over, there's nothing I could've done, I warned them its not a party drug.
This rough patch of the trip was so needed to free my mind from the sorrow and guilt I felt. I spent the rest of the trip out in nature, allowing the trees to ease my mind and the flowers to blow my mind.

I also became more in touch with my imagination than I ever have been before; It was so crazy, what my subconscious wanted me to draw appeared to me on the paper and I pretty much traced it. I did have a preconception of what I wanted to draw/paint, and my subconscious took over and made me ignore my preconceived idea of what I wanted to draw. I'm looking forward to doing my next adventure now that my mind is all sorted out I can go for more of a spiritual journey next time.

I have no idea how I was able to do this by myself, but I can see why the need of a therapist could be useful to those who can't navigate their mind well. I was lucky enough to have my awesome girlfriend as a sitter to keep me grounded. Just wish I could sleep. Wonder how long I should wait before my next journey!

What I can say, is that for me, healing rarely, if ever, takes places in the exact moments of the trip. Those things have their own way of unfolding over the course of the following weeks/months, depending on how deep I go and what kind of feelings were brought up, and also how ingrained I am into one belief or another. Meditate on what happened during the trip, and you'll find other perspectives showing their heads. You don't need to think about the next trip, you'll know when the time is right. If I find myself asking if I should take a trip, I KNOW that's a bad time right there. Otherwise, if I do decide to go on with it, I am prepared to accept anything, and I mean anything that will inevitably come up. Just remembering that when times get rough, and not holding on to feelings, changes things drastically for me, should they happen to go darker or unbearable.

Good luck, friend. I hope this will be useful. Let us know how it goes.

That's sort of what happened in this trip. I knew those thoughts were going to come up, but I wanted them to, so I could work it out. I may need to still meditate on it, but I do feel as if I have changed my thoughts. I feel like I moved on from those negative feelings. I do want to add, no matter how little you think you take, 1/4 a tab, half a tab, 1 tab, if you have something wrong, it WILL show its head, as you said.

For me, I feel as if I've had behavioral relief from my sessions. The first time this happened I was struggling with depression for a few months. I thought about everything, from why I felt so depressed, to analyzing myself from all angles, to realizing how in control over my emotions I actually am. From the end of that trip on I felt like a new person.


I think you said it the best when you said "not holding on to feelings." I feel like that realization helped me move on. I felt that immense power of just letting go take control over, it was an extremely intense moment. While my trip was ending all the way up til I was able to fall asleep I painted, and I strongly believe that I was painting the rest of the pain away. I will continue to meditate upon it and see how much more I can get out. I definitely got a lot out of this adventure.

I appreciate your comments. I'm looking forward to my next trip, no clue when It'll happen, and that's fine, as you said I will know when the time is right but know I will share the experience!

I know how you feel. I watch three of my friends die of over doses in the past five years. It's a horrible feeling.
Since they all died of MDMA overdoses, MDMA has lost its allure. So I moved on.

"pro tip"
When ever I have a bad trip, I just remember that I took a drug and it will be over soon. And that any and all thoughts or conclusions are just that, thoughts.
Don't let your negative thoughts get in the way of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Good luck man.