After a few prominent experiences ive noticed that my life after those experiences is chalked full of of what may be considered psychotic effects.

recently, the reason i created this post, i had a strong experience with achuma. since then i noticed a trend of my perception being more than it was before. an example of this is when i close my eyes to go to sleep i notice patterns and transformations, things normally experienced on low doses of psychedelics. i also recognize inanimate objects as animals and people... this is the first for me to have it this late after that particular experience, since i havent used psychoactives since ( 2weeks) i see cats in the corners of my eyes and double take to find nothing or sometimes an object. i have a giant carved cigar holding indian, im very familliar with it, yet i passed the hallway where it can be seen down it and stopped in my tracks convinced that it was a person. sometimes i think i see people in the corner of my eye aswell. i was trying to sleep a few nights ago and i kept hearing these weird oscilating pitches, and it made me remember this time when i was a kid and thought my brothers were screaming in the middle of the night in a contest with each other, getting louder and louder, it turns out they were asleep which i found out after running to mad dads bedroom and demanding he stop the intollerable screeching

also a month ago i had less than a foot of achuma flesh and smoked changa for a few hours at the end of the experience

for me less than a foot of flesh is not entheogenic, it is empathogenic, there are no visuals, at best visual distortions

after sobering up i decided to break my fast with an apple, the lights were still off so i washed it in the bathroom sink under the moonlight, then i noticed a strobing light reflect upon my dark bathroom, looking outside i saw a spark in the tree, a white spark like electricity not but 15 feet away, at first i thought it was a lightning bug then i thought this bug must be the queen of lighting bugs made of lightning, then after its pulsating sparking, (as if 2 wires were being touched together rythmatically) there was a hint of yellow, as if a flame were about to begin, but it never did. there was nothing in the spot where the sparking orginated, then there was sparks i watched this in growing awe for about 45 seconds, i searched the backyard below and and other places for this to be a reflection and found none. as i changed my vantage point the location of the electrical sparking (about 2 inches in diameter) the sparking still rested in the limb of a tree outside my third story window. now half convinced i needed to photograph this phenomenon and half convinced the moment i left it would too, i watched as it sparked and then swooped off the branch downwards a couple of feet and come towards me, then it arched up and out of sight over the house. i began freaking out, i had never seen anything like this. i pressed my face against the glass and began to look into the sky, i ran to the living room and kitchen windows and half climbed out searching for this sparking phenomenon. it was only traveling a couple miles per hour i thought i could catch another glimpse. excited i stared around my now lit apartment trying to see if i was infact hallucinating and no, i was dead sober, all lines were crisp and static, nothing moved bent or transformed, and certainly nothing sparked like white lightning about to burst into flames and flew around....

i then sat and had very profound cathartic revelations as i spoke them to a friend over the phone who i called at first because of the sparking. for 2 hours i enlightened myself and him with personal truths i had become aware of. there was so much joy in my forgiveness, it was a blessing to be me and all grievances were forgotten as they contributed to my satisfaction in life.

ive never seen anything like this ever, i came away from the situation getting the idea that i had recieved some celestial wink. it was as if the universe let me know it was watching, this magic was a sign i was participating in awe.

upon going outside after sunset i noticed that everything seemed to be that weird ionization that happens after lightning storms, it was dark but theres a full blood moon and everytime i stopped looking up at the sky out of the corner of my eye the sky would strobe, convinced i kept missing some heat lightning of the sort i stared expectantly at the sky for several minutes, gave up and turned to walk in side and it happened again, so i tried to catch it and gave up only to find it happen as i abandoned my gazing.

this same phenomenon happens to me when i leave work and step into the main room at work where i normally dont go because my job demands me work a position in the back. the lights streak across the ceiling predictably and when i look at them they are simply static.

i feel less and less attatched to linear reality, perhaps my exposure to the absolute reality has made my perception less prone to remain illusory as it once was.... or i am legitimately losing my "sanity"

turns out there was a storm after all, it was just too far away to hear it

however the lightning is dizzying

my language is also noticably altered

i just tried to spell emergency as "immergency"
it makes me think of they way "opti and i" was written

Very interesting mew. I know that for me, after many years of various psychedelic use that my speech has certainly changed along with my perception of the everyday world. It's as if pieces of these altered states start to stabilize themselves in our everyday reality. And im sure at one level the brain has changed neural connectivity/structure in some way-shape-or-form over repeated use.

But at another level there's many little phenomena that present themselves in my day-to-day that I definitely couldn't explain away with brain models. Whether these things are there as positives or negatives..who knows...but they're darn sure interesting and tend to make me smile. I find what happens alot for me (and pretty much everyday) is the phenomena of synchronicity or when i'm thinking about a specific "something" or "someone" and it manifests itself seconds or minutes later.

At night I always notice that "electric-neon-grid" that tends to blanket the sky and shimmer in and out of my visual field. And during the day...especially in the mornings....everything always appears to be MUCH brighter. Trees and the grass sometimes appear to ever so slightly wave..especially out of the corner of my eye.

synchronicity is a perpetual reminder of the magic we participate in, on a daily basis

my perception seems increadibly odd after a lightning storm, the air is seemingly electric and i get this sense of euphoria and wonder, its as if im being directly affected by the random ions around me.

im still a little worried about how my mind recognized objects as animals or people enough to stop me from what it was i was doing to double take. this is something i hope dosent increase in frequency as it seems counter productive to functionality. perhaps its the just beginning of my progress recognizing that all things are living. which wouldnt be bad, it just might make me more suitable for somethings over others. i still have no regrets about this path.

what wouldnt i give to know truth, it is what i want

Sounds like a case of persisting hallucination disorder. Perhaps a break will help?

Mew, i think you will find this interesting:

http://en.wikipedia.org/...ting_perception_disorder

Just because, mainsteam science has a name for it. And ofc, then its time for the zombimeds.
Personally I dont think its even a bad thing to see things all the time, a tuneup more like it, more in touch even without ethnogens.

Its not a bad thing is the persisting halucinations are OK, such as a bit of fuzzyness or the moving of patterns when they are concentrated on, but if you have things you do not wish to see/happen then it would turn nasty very quickly.

Since you cant choose which halucinations are going to persist then its probably better to take a break if these things begin to happen or the next things which arise may be much less pleasant.

I have had trips where there were times when i was quite paranoid about the world conspiring against me, if these effects persisted it would have really messed up my life.

If i was you mew i would take a break to see if it all goes back to normal.

good point, if its bad visuals. then its really time to take a break.

just used my self as an example. never had any ethnogens, but I see things. Like when I wake up and tired I se see spiderweb in the sky that moves like, not quite sure how to describe it. Mechanical, like they are interlocking. All I need to see it, is look at the sky. The more awake I become, the less I see. Also seeing like my chair giving reflections, also my skin and fingers and other stufff when there is no light source. Also in very dim light I can see that spiderweb of interlocking. I like it alot

If I had gone to the doctor they would zombify me

it does seem like mild hppd, however the dreams i have are astounding

last night i met with this prophet of all faiths in a parking lot in my dream, i offered him a seat and asked him to speak of anything. he smiled and asked me if it was the work of god that man be totally naked in nature and then clothe himself. my response was yes, as god is consciousness expanded....

then he left to tend to an alcoholic that pulled up

just one part of a continual blending of realities. dreams and waking life have a very feeble boundry

Hello.

I believe one of the things that defines mental illness is the amount of suffering that is caused by the subjects conditions and or delusions. So while a lot of people may view your beliefs and thoughts as crazy/ psychotic and what not...what it really boils down to at the end of the day is......does your so called delusion cause suffering to you and those around you?....or do your "delusions" somehow make you more productive in your life?

I'm quite sure any conventional psychiatrist or therapist would have a real field day with me and my assorted whacked out beliefs but would they commit me for it? Most likely not, as my delusions do not interfere with my being a productive and harmless member of society and I also do not suffer extensively as a result of my "insane" beliefs.


I was attempting to do the math on my psychedelic intake over my nearly 20 years of usage....seems a conservative calculation puts me at having had over 600 high dosage LSD mescaline and or mushroom experiences..Then add the few hundred times I have smoked DMT and throw in about 150 times for taking Ayahuasca/pharmahuasca.

So I have definitely experienced "expansions" in my day to day awareness and let me just say that I absolutely love every minute of it...

As and artist and musician it very much helps me to view the world in a "enlightened" way.


I strongly believe that if psychedelics are used wisely and with the honest intention of bettering oneself or self correction then one will not suffer any ill effects, on the other hand I believe if psychedelics are recklessly abused for sheer "fun" then they can cause certain undesirable syndromes to develop in the user.

Here is a very interesting study on peyote and brain damage..which found no cognitive functioning disorders present in any tribal users...

www.cbsnews.com/2100-204_162-1009951.html

I've been holding off on this for a few days, not sure wether I should write it out and lend further credence to it but I think this is a good opportunity.

I've been micro dosing salvia...well taking a hit of plain leaf everyday as well as three days in a row of caapi-salvia changa sessions. I also use cannabis every day, well the other day I was outside picking mushrooms right after smoking some mj and I was studying one of them when my wife came up behind me, touched me on the shoulder and said something. I was too engrossed with what I was doing and didn't respond. When I was done I turned around and she was gone, I had a very strange feeling about this so I went inside where she was and asked her if she had said something to me and she replied that she didn't say anything and asked why? I immediately excused it and said "oh I thought I heard you say something."

I was extremely worried for a few minutes that I had some sort of psychosis going on precipitated by one or a combination of the entheogens I have been using, but then I remembered something I had read earlier that day about how we should feel emotions but not accept them as what we are. I decided that although I had the VERY real sensation of a female entity touching my shoulder and telling me something that I would not dwell on it, yes I experienced it but I am not identifying with it because it is not "who I am" it is what I experienced, if that makes sense.

I could have easily attached significant emotion to this experience but I knew that would not help me in any way and could in fact hurt me. The next day I had another experience, my wife was in the kitchen with me and we were talking then she walked out of the room, I felt a presence behind me and kept turning around expecting to find my wife but no matter which way I turned she was not there, shortly after she walked back into the kitchen and we continued our conversation. I am also not choosing to dwell on this experience because there is no value in it, I felt a presence behind me but what good would it do to try to validate it?

What I'm saying is that you can indeed swim in a sea of madness without drowning if you just keep your head above the water. It's your choice my friend.

Now that is wisdom!

im not as concerned as one might think, it was startling initially, now after trying to see the entity directly to discover nothing i spend a moment in wonder, bemused. this condition, whether it be permanent or temporary, doesnt seem to be worsening or counterproductive in my life.

i assume maestros of cactus and ayahuasca would be diagnosed with hppd/ psychosis

Mew, have you heard of "Animism"? you may find something interesting in reflection

please share information you may feel pertinent to this situation


however these symptoms have subsided over the past few weeks. they seemed to taper off, 2weeks after a full entheogenic experience

HPPD is a theory. I dont think anyone understands the mechanism. It's really only a "disorder" if it is a negative thing.

I personally do not buy the whole "disorder" thing. I think that when a person takes psychedelics it is like excercising a muscle that goes unused often in our society..I think it was Tony Wright who said something like all of the psychedelic stuff that we experience when we take these things is akin to a coma patient having a muscle twitch. What our brains are *really* capable of might be just way beyond belief. I think that taking psychedelics is like going to the gym, only you are excercising your right hemisphere. I think that what people call "HPPD" is really just analagous to the strengthening of a muscle. The more you make use of the creative/empathic right hemisphere the more it is going to become active.

Look at Jill Bolt Taylor..the right hemisphere of the brain is capable of incredible things.

"i assume maestros of cactus and ayahuasca would be diagnosed with hppd/ psychosis"

Most likely..

God knows I would be. Ive had some crazy "DMT trips" without taking any DMT.

please share some jamie and post a link here!