I am proposing to the woman that im going to spend the rest of my life with on 7/3/2012, exactly 2 years from the day we met. We have decided together to get an engagement ring tattoo instead of a traditional ring, but this kinda takes the fun out of proposing. Now she pretty much knows whats going to happen anyway (forced my hand in a way) but I want to bring some element of suprise into it.
I am an artist so I am designing the tattoo myself, im wondering if we should work together on the design to make sure it is significant and meaningfull to both of us, or should I wait until i propose to show her the design? basically it is 2 infinity symbols interlocked to form a circle, not sure if i want to put her fist initial in the circle, a yin yang, or something else. I have showed her a rough sketch of the idea, but I still think she would be kinda suprised if I finished it and showed her. Never done this before so im pretty much lost, any tips are appreciated.

Well you kind of already proposed, but I see the dilemma. Only way I see to still kind of propose would be to finish it and then hand it to her while on a knee.

Or you could just propose right before they tattoo it on. Im wondering, how will you be going about a wedding? Cause in a traditional wedding the ring goes on when you get married. Although Im not one for traditional type weddings.

were still going to wedding bands for the ceremony, this is more like an engagement ring type of thing i spose.

I was thinking i might just get on a knee right there in the tattoo shop right before they do it too, since she pretty much already knows what the design will look like anyway, and she has had a couple very good suggestions about the design as well so i think ill keep working with her to get a design that we are both happy with having on our bodies forever.

So its an engagement ring, meaning your going to have it tattooed onto the left hand ring finger? then she will wear the marriage ring on the right hand right finger where it goes?

lol ok, im really glad i made this thread now, im more confused about this than i thought. How does this sort of thing work traditionally? your saying engagement ring on the left hand ring finger, and then the wedding band would go on her ring finger on the day of the wedding right? Do people normally keep wearing the engagemnt ring and the wedding ring? If you could explain this whole wedding process thing like your talking to a second grader that would probably be helpfull.

Have you thought about the possibility of her/him cheating on you behind your back or thinking of murdering you? OR that marriage is a weird christian thing full of balls and chains. Just thought that I should bring it up just in case. Kind of definitive to say "the rest of my life".

What if you actually break up as many couples now days do. Maybe something happens and you change your view? Would you still enjoy heart and letters signifying "forever love"? Something universal maybe if you are going to do it?

If you end up doing it then do not sweat just do your thing and go with it, not too heavy on the little stuff. Flowers, on your knees? The stuff in the romantic movies?

^lol, ya know i have thought of that stuff, and I figured I can either spend all of our time together worrying about things like that, or I could just trust the love that I feel and accept the fact that nothing lasts, but nothing is lost. Its kinda like saying, well that rainbow is not always going to be in the sky so why would you even want to look at it? This butterfly is way to fragile, and im afraid that if i appreciate its beauty i will get attached to it, so i better kill it before that happens. Thats a sad way to live.

Yea she could cheat on me, murder me or worse, but I love her unconditionally, so that wouldnt really change anytyhing. Maybe the whole reason that she was put into my life is to do something horrible like that and truly teach me how to forgive someone?

The tattoo is going to be 2 infity symbols intertwined, thats pretty universal, and IF everything im saying is completely wrong they always have laser removal, sure it would hurt like hell but it might take my mind off of the mental anguish of loosing her.

Correct me if im wrong but I dont think Christians were the first ones to have a marrige ceremony by any means, I have heard many different accoutns of ancient native american, asian, and african weddings, it seems to be something that existed in one form or another pretty much in every culture from the dawn of civilization.

Congrats! The idea of a tattoo band is awesome,You should post a picture when finished.

Ok so I am retarded. And now my gf said that was te stupidest thing she ever heard. They both go on the left hand ring finger. Sorry. I'm a guy and we don't know this stuff as well.

Some cultures do different things. Some use the engagement ring as the wedding ring. Some don't do an engagement ring at all. Some don't do any rings. It's basically choose your tradition. Maybe go with one that your family or her family usually goes for.

...so if you go the traditional route, you're talking about a tattoo that's got a ring obscuring part of it. Not a clean look,. But a tattoo is nontraditional anyway, so as long as you're writing your own rules, put the engagement tattoos anywhere you want. Right hand, ankle, wrist, wherever.

Because there are so many considerations involved, you'll need to really go over the pros and cons with her of design, placement etc. That kind of detailed discussion is part and parcel with making a marriage work, so you might as well start now.

Not sure how to work in the element of surprise here. You're going to have to get creative.

I've been with my wife for 20 years and have no regrets. I don't look at marriage as an institution- I mean, it is, but that's not the part that's relevant to me. I look at it as a grand gesture you're making to another individual, and as such it can be powerful.

Have you ever read about "handfasting?"

Thought to just check that

Sounds good, I wish you very much happines in life with your significant other! Truly powerfull to have relationship like that

I think you are going to be rock solid any way you decide to do it, you seem to have a lot of dedication/are determinent.

Idea of 2 infinity symbols very groovy. Intertwined but how?

You want the whole church thing after the successful proposal? If yes then make the reservation with the church early, really early since at least where I live the wait lists to the churches are supposedly months long especially the summer time.

To dip deep in the whole marriage thing then wikipedia is here to help with
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding

In western tradition of christianity people typically use wedding rings on the left ring finger but in the orthodox branch I was told by an orthodox priest that the wedding ring goes to the right ringer with them. Thus stuff about the wedding ring and the ring finger: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_ring
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_finger

Those should make it very clear and make you seem like well researched before you "pop the question"

well its not going to be a tradtitional christian wedding by any means, especially not in a church. Her family is religious and would probably prefer that we are married in a church but they are open minded and respectful enough that they wont make a stink about it anyway. They dont neccasarily agree with our views, but they are (usually) very respectful of them. My family is really not religious at all so theres no problem there they are very open minded. Her and I see eye to eye about almost everything, organized religion really has no appeal to us. However, I would still say that we have a very close relationship with god (alot closer of a relationship with god than religion makes possible in my opinion) and it will still be a very sacred ceremony.

So we are getting married here im pretty sure, http://stratobowl.com/ its a huge natural sink hole in the black hills, very beautiful spot only minutes from where i live. In the bottom there is a large flat feild surrounded by cliffs amost all the way around with a nice little creek meandering thru the canyon. The cliffs do very good job at sheltering the area from wind and road noise, making it feel like a very remote place in the hills even though its only 20 minutes out of town. The people that own the land actually did my mom's wedding a couple years ago (not in that spot though she did her wedding in her backyard) they are pretty cool folks.

Anyway, I didnt propose to her on the 3rd like i had planned, we were on vacation and kinda ran out of money, bummer. Looking at the glass half full though I now have the element of suprise back, plus a little more time to perfect the design. (which i will hopefully post pics of along with other art soon)