Ever since my first experience with 5 MEO, (Which did not result in a full ego death, but it was close I feel), I have been experiencing a much more interesting dream life. That session was over a year ago, and still, about once or twice a month I will wake up with that immanent understanding of death staring me directly in the face. Perhaps this is due to being woken up out of a Stage 4 sleep, hence my ego has to scramble to put itself back together anyway, and I have become aware enough to notice the brief period of expansiveness and dissociation. To me, when this happens, it feels like "I" am sitting behind my whole persona/ego, and I can objectively view all the parts from a removed distance, almost like I could scroll between webpages in "tabbed browsing mode" or something.
It's a pretty disconcerting feeling, because in that instance, the transience of my life is revealed and apparent, and it makes me realize that time is really no buffer to the raw facts of giving into that immanence for the final time. Perhaps this is good practice for achieving my first breakthrough haha. Death has been a major fear for me for my entire life, and I feel like the time is coming where I will have to stare it in the face (in a dream state or other sort of altered state) and this prospect is certainly intimidating. I was just wondering if anyone else ever wakes up in a similar deep/dissociated state and if so, do you work with it/dive into it? I always feel like there is choice to go into it, though I have never taken that option....
On a lighter side of dreaming, I often wake up slowly, and in that inbetween period I find that I can basically come up with any sort of answer that I need (and am willing to hear), ranging from personal questions to plots in something that I am writing.
Anyway, would be interested to hear other thoughts.