I'm laying down quietly, trying to calm my self. Trying to find a vision of peace. The sensations flowing through my veins create an uneasiness inside, one that is directing my thoughts. Thoughts that control me. What is this control? Why are you doing this?

I feel weak against this powerful hesitation, chained to my bed, unable to rise to my own creation. My creation of the reality I truly see.

It doesn't matter, this is too strong, you cant fight it.

No, it isnt bad, it doesn't/can't hurt me.

No its too intense. It isnt a normal feeling.

But its good, and I want it. I want it now.

No I won't let you.

How can this anxiety control me so. I am not out of control, this can't be for my own good. I yearn for this experience that is all within my grasp. It has and will tell me things I want to hear. It doesn't hurt, I don't want to do it everyday. i want to integrate what I learn. Why, why do you hold me back so. Why do you keep me from doing something so amazing.

Felt like writing down some thoughts as they flow out of my brain modem. Havin a hard time dosing.

Make it your friend.

I know, easier said than done. But once in the beginner stage of DMT explorations, the anxiety can be very though to some, but knowing you're about to experience something amazing(no matter what character the trip is) you can begin to understand that anxiety is normal reaction especially when it's a new experience. It fades somewhat with experience(IME) but it's often there, even if as just a speck. It's natural. Anyway there's two ways: SMOALK IT and grow your hyperballs or leave it and take it when you feel more brave and ready.

You control the anxiety after all

If you can't do it or don't feel like doing it then don't.
I have only one rule to my smoalking: do it only when you feel like it.

But fears(fear/anxiety of the unknown in this case) can't be overcome without facing them.

low dose changa tokes during yoga/meditation with some beautiful music can melt that, if you let it

Well if one is afraid of even small dose tokes(like 10mg) then that's some serious anxiety... How about the anxiety that comes then with DMT jester attack(or whatever other crazy stuff there is)? At that point one might want to ask him/herself if DMT is the right thing for their nerves...

I have been experimenting with taking small doses lately. I have experienced very strong experiences at 40 and 45mg that were both AMAZING, so 15mg is extremely light. Yet, after only a week the anxiety is strong enough to make me hesitate and even refuse doses as small as 15mg. And after a month of not dosing, the anxiety is as strong as it gets making it so that the only way I will dose is if I force myself through the anxiety by saying "f*ck it" and powering through.

I have anxiety with other things as well, which is something that has only recently in the last 2 years been realized. If you met me you wouldn't know it though. I'm very strong willed, but it seems the more I realize my anxieties the stronger they become.

I want to overcome my anxieties really bad, not just with DMT. Although I feel as though it is strongest with DMT. I get anxiety when I smoke weed. I used to toke all day long everyday for years with no problem. I haven't been a pot head for several years now, and I am beginning to think that maybe weed was helping my anxiety.

I find that the longer I wait between dosing, I too notice anxiety levels increasing. I usually dose twice a week, but if I miss like two weeks or more, coming back to it tends to be more scary. In any manner, usually once I have the vapor in my lungs, the anxiety is gone. You just gotta load it up quickly, light up, and surrender yourself to the mercy of hyperspace.

ya this is definitely one of the methods I have used before. i couldnt lower my anxieties so i just said "im doing it!"

For me the anxiety actually increase when the first wave hits me, and stays until I hit peak, then it completely goes away. When I hit peak I feel safe. Comfortable. It's familiar.

You sound a lot like me i had a little dmt maybe 50mg i did a dry tek and messed it up and barely got any but it was yellow and had black spots in it i think from the mimosa. I sat there for weeks debating on doing it, i had it in a glass vial and i ended up dropping it on the bathroom floor broke the vial and the dmt disappeared so i took it as i sign that i shouldn't do it (i have some major anxiety issues as well) so just ended up getting some raw cocao nibs and some san pedro cactus powder to experiment with lol.

Ime with weed, i can't smoke it or i'll freak out over any little thing, but when i eat it it's totally different in the best way possible and it's a slower but more mellow experience which is why i think i was led to san pedro cactus to press through some issues i'm having instead of dmt. And weed has so many nutrients like amino acids, fatty acids, trace minerals, etc. that just go to waste when burning up.

Even the high cbd strains iv'e tried smoking, one is called sour tsunami (14% cbd & 7% thc) i still get a little anxiety from because it just comes on too fast smoking it for me.

Listen to your inner voice and let it guide you to your destiny brother.

Excerpt from The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda...

Fear-The first enemy of a man of knowledge

The Shaman Don Juan Matus - "When A man starts to learn, he is never clear about his objectives. His purpose is faulty; his intent is vague. He hopes for rewards that will never materialize for he knows nothing of the hardships of learning."
"He slowly begins to learn-bit by bit at first, then in big chunks. And his thoughts soon clash. What he learns is never what he pictured, or imagined, and so he begins to be afraid. Learning is never what one expects. Every step of learning is a new task and the fear the man is experiencing begins to mount mercilessly, unyieldingly. His purpose becomes a battlefield."
"And thus he has stumbled upon the first of his natural enemies: Fear! A terrible enemy-treacherous, and difficult to overcome. It remains concealed at every turn of the way, prowling, waiting. And if the man terrified in it's presence runs away, his enemy will have put an end to his quest."

Castaneda-"What will happen to the man if he runs away in fear?"

Juan Matus- "Nothing happens to him except that he will never learn. He will never become a man of knowledge. He will perhaps be a bully or a harmless scared man; at any rate he will be a defeated man. His first enemy will have put an end to his cravings."

-Castanada "And what can one do to overcome fear?"

-Juan Matus "The answer is very simple. He must not run away. He must defy his fear and in spite of it he must take the next step in learning, and the next, and the next. He must be fully afraid and yet he must not stop. That is the rule! And a moment will come when his first enemy retreats. The man begins to feel sure of himself. His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task. When this joyful moment comes, the man can say without hesitation that he has defeated his first natural enemy.

-Cataneda "does it happen all at once, Don Juan, or little by little?"

-Juan Matus "It happens little by little, and yet the fear is vanquished suddenly and fast."

-Cataneda "But won't the man be afraid again if something new happens to him?"

-Juan Matus "No. because once a man has vanquished his fear, he is free from it for the rest of his life because instead of fear, he has acquired clarity -a clarity of mind which erases fear. By then a man knows his desires; he knows how to satisfy those desires. He can anticipate new steps in learning, and a sharp clarity surrounds everything. The man feels that nothing is concealed.

---

Hope this was helpful...I know it helped me.

BTW...FYI there are three more enemies after fear... Clarity, Power, and Old Age, in that order.

-Elijah

Ive been eating these little candies lately. my buddy has a ton and got em from the dispensary. they do agree with me better than smoking, but I am such a light weight for some reason. Plus edibles are impossible to dose properly. One candy might make you barely feel anything, smooth onset, perfect peak. But one of the exact same size, and I was blasted. It completely destroyed my short term memory as one of its effects. I wasnt as paranoid, and only had slight inward judgement.

Most of the time weed makes me judge myself inwardly. Makes me rethink everything I am doing. Although I am not completely sure I agree with all of it.

Wow.. I am the opposite, edible marijuana makes me so freaking uncomfortable and anxiety ridden I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin.

THANK YOU Eliyahu! Your post was moving!

The quote I put up there ^^ is very reminiscent of how I felt when I first realized that I have anxieties sometimes. Thank you so much for posting this. What is it from exactly? I can see this helping me very much so. Do you mind me posting your entire quoting on my facebook?

(anrchy) "Ive been eating these little candies lately. my buddy has a ton and got em from the dispensary. they do agree with me better than smoking, but I am such a light weight for some reason. Plus edibles are impossible to dose properly. One candy might make you barely feel anything, smooth onset, perfect peak. But one of the exact same size, and I was blasted. It completely destroyed my short term memory as one of its effects. I wasnt as paranoid, and only had slight inward judgement."

"Most of the time weed makes me judge myself inwardly. Makes me rethink everything I am doing. Although I am not completely sure I agree with all of it."

Again that's exactly my experience, i would strongly suggest you get a strong sativa like apollo 13 or a decent hybrid more on the sativa side (energetic, no crash) and just eat the weed straight a gram or two(not in candies or brownies cuz i believe those are just extracts) just chew on it for a little bit and swallow it and i bet you it will be a good experience even though it might be a little pricier that's the best way ime. If you do that let me know how it goes.

It takes longer to digest, and it slower and gentler peak.

If you do get a strain that has already been know for it's anti-anxiety effects. sry for the excessive posts.

I have been looking for a good energetic and anyi anxiety strain. I cant remember, i think i read of a strain called super crack or super green crack, anyone know what I am talking about?

Lately i have been picking a day to smoke, say two weeks prior.

And imagining it and thinking about it the weeks leading up to it.

And by the time i smoke it it is not ever as intense/Scary at the onrush as i remember or have been thinking, Even though i can still breakthrough!

I believe that is tga subcool's space queen i'm not entirely sure.

sidefx, that sound's like a good strategy!

Oh i did a naptha extraction on a gram blue dream and it's VERY good anti-anxiety wise if you vaporize. It's an almost perfect feeling that just drifts along smoothly a slow onset too.

Isn't that why we all here to overcome fear ? We all have something similar and that is the way we swim in the river.

We can either try to go against current, use all our energy and move nowhere or we can let go and let river take us where ever it wants us, to see and learn new things. That it the fear from unknown we are all here to overcome to let go and stop swimming.

I have the same fear and anxiety every time I smoke. I have done it many times and the fear is still there. I hope that one day I will surrender to the river and let go completely. This is not an easy task for any human. But it would not be a good life without learning new things.

I can not believe there are still so many people out there happy with not doing anything just wasting their lives.