I definitely have empathy for u in having to deal with people such as the ones u have described. My insight on the subject..... I think the law of affection comes into play here. When you are trying to fill youraelf with positivity and find yourself in the presence of negativity, don't pay it any mind... Look around for something you love, and remind yourself that you love it, this will bring you good feelings and almost wash away the negativity that is being so generously sprayed in your direction. Sometimes this can even have positive effects on those around you... But in other cases, some people are just dead set on not being pulled out of a bad mood, so u juat can't let it affect u in the least, keep ur mind on wat u love and your heart and soul will follow. Peace Love and Happy Travels.

Simply shred her soul after you slowly peel it from her flesh. Toss it into the dark abyss and allow the dark lords their fun. If I feel anyone's spirit attack mine (which never happens).

Misery loves company, stop playing her childish games. ignore her feeble human efforts which should only entertain you at the least. Once she realizes that she doesn't have an influence on your mind she'll quit, since this is no longer fun for her.

This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel
~Horatio Walpole

never know

everyone is perfect. Dont let them show you their BAD side socially. People are just like you, some had shitty life, lack of love, ect. People are the way they are for a reason. I have never met anyone that was BAD. You have to find in everyone the divine, the perfect, otherwise YOU will suffer.

Show respect no matter what, show dignity, do not show fear but show love. You will see how the "bad" people are made of.

Show love and respect, and even the Baddest person will give ou that in return. People want and need love, and if you show them that you dont like them, well some people ineed do not know how to react towards that.

I don't deal with negative people, at all.

Bless angels and demons alike, this brings peace, this brings light.

Thank you my beautiful Nexian friends. Thank you all for your fantastic input and advice.

My next step is to write her a letter, without issuing blame and without being overly-defensive. I shall try and see it from her point of view, however I will clearly state how I see the situation, in a logical, sincere and rational manner.

If I do this, there could be several ways she reacts. She could laugh and take the piss in an immature fashion, she could ignore it completely and burn the letter or throw it in the bin etc, she could start to see the situation from a more rational point of view, or it could anger her further and make her dislike me even more.

No matter how she reacts, I think I am doing the correct thing. It could change things completely or it could lead nowhere. No matter what happens, at least I'm trying to resolve the situation in a fair and reasonable way.

Peace

Macre

^^^ppl like you describe tend to be heartless, self-absorbed snots, and they come around from time-to-time, just like flies. Whenever people like this come about, I find about half of people tend to blabber on about "everyone is divine" and "he/she is just misunderstood" - in my view this is very naive. Some people, for whatever reason, don't have the empathy or social skills that allow them to operate functionally in society. It sounds like your girlfriend's sister is the sort, I've dealt with plenty of them. My experience is that they cannot be changed, and most psychologists agree with this, (unless of course they choose to change themselves), and will continue to act in their self-centered ways. My advice (what I do when dealing with these types) is - if you MUST deal with her, stand your ground and don't give her what she wants, which is your mind (try to monitor breathing, keep centered), and stand your ground, you have rights and boundaries that she must respect. Try to minimize the time you have to spend around her; there are millions of people worth being around, and these sorts are not worth it. That's my experience after a decade dealing with these creeps.

Here's a funny but useful page about "How to deal with the B%tches in your Life".

Toxic people? rather judgemental to say the least. Perhaps we are all toxic, just depends where your viewpoint is.
This kind of judgement is all too frequently the result of personal feelings and private motifs. A waste of time to indulge in it imo. I'd say you'd be better off using the time for an ayhawaska session.

Perhaps that could be perceived as judgemental. I guess I was trying to be descriptive about certain folk who have a particular outlook. The language I used may have been a bit strong, so perhaps I could have worded it differently.

Rather than trying to judge, I guess I am looking for a way to interact with people who could perhaps be perceived as being difficult, in a way that is best for everyone concerned.

I couldn't agree more, that a session with the brew would be useful. At present, I am not within a suitable position to do this, like I was before, so it's a little more difficult at present. Of course, this will change. I guess there is some sense and reason behind this current, rather interesting phase of my life. Right now, I think some serious meditation will be a good option.

Peace

Macre

Indeed, situations like this are a test, and to deal with such a thing with grace is always a triumph.

It may sound naive to say, "theyre just misunderstood", etc... And even more so to say, " love will diffuse the situation". But remember that people like this are suffering, and offer your love. Even if you say nothing, just focus on the feeling in your heart, it will show in subtle ways in your face and body language, and at a core primal level this is extremely effective. Try it with cops and authority figures; I believe you can alter someone's immediate attitude toward you in this manner. Like the Jedi mind trick, but more honest.

A letter can backfire. If you can do it in person, face to face, approach her with love and understanding rather than a list of offenses... You may be able to come to some kind of understanding.

There are truly some permanently broken people who are black sinkholes of negativity, and the only thing that can work is distance. Hopefully this isn't one of those.

cosmic synch?
read this thread yesterday and just saw this vid from MorningMayan-


Why you must get away from negative people
so true <3

I started working at the counter of a large store about a month ago and a lot of different kind of people have gone through, many have been really hard to handle. What I have learned is that a lot of time it is just like training to be able to handle their things. Also I have wondered what makes them act like the way they do and probably it is just because they just feel bad and that transmits then into you. Nothing personal, they just can not act any other way currently. Observe the situation and soon it'll start looking kind off odd and funny To be able to react with humour to their toxicity would be like the greatest skill of all and worth the training, for your own ego strenght, to not be submissive to their manipulation/transmission of toxicity.

Also to counter it I recommend the Guyomech approach of love, it really works, often it feels like people just want to get dirty and fight and make it a pissing contest to see who can shoot the farthest but reversing that with love just works.

Feed all the toxic people handfuls of delicious mushrooms "you cooked yourself"

I previously worked in a restaurant and faced all sorts of types of people in terms of customers and co-workers. It was quite difficult and I ended up having to quit, I couldn't handle it all. Not that I recommend it, but a small amount of cannabis taken during the breaks very much helped dealing with people, helped me to move into a zone where I could observe people without getting emotionally enmeshed in situations. The advice I got was to observe the situation like a scientist or sociologist, try as much as possible to remove myself emotionally from the situation, remain purely analytical. Some people are less "sensitive" (they don't pick up other people's emotions/vibes) but others find it difficult to be in such an environment.

I also came across a definition of "character" as how you act when you are free to act as you please. In your position as a counter worker, people can pretty much treat you as they wish - either very politely or respectfully, or like s**t, and some can be nasty. It really reflects back on them, as you say.

I always try to remember Bobby McFerrin's classic words, "Don't worry, be happy..."

I can imagine something light calming would work probably very well without having stuff flying around, just to get one calm. The feeling of being an observer is really though to get on, what you said is just the thing that I tried to explain to be trained to handle the situations. Can be used as a very effective tool to reprogram the self too.

Yes if you treat people shitty people tend to treat you shitty back, it is quite hard if tired to try to love the customer and be countering the bs with love than just to reply with just suck it. Meaning reflects back to them if I got it right? Sometimes people came to the counter really happy and that immediately puts me into a different vibe and automatically I am more happy and loving to them

Must. Train. The. Robot. . . . BUT IT IS SO HARD! BUT MUST TRAIN THE ROBOT and if this can be trained to the highest efficiency then oh the things you can accomplish

Yes and never to take their ill feeling personally as it is just the guy standing on the counter or wearing the restaurant uniform (oh man that must have been much more worse than the counter, having no barricade ((the cashiers whatever the thing that the stuff moves on to the end to be packaged from)) to shield from the stuff :A hope you found a better job!).

After the work day defuse the working ritual by removing the ritual clothes and changing the mindset back to free time. Maybe would work with that girl, to see it as a social scene that you must learn to play with? Experimenting might be the key to learning along with remembering the outcome of the said experiment.

Definitely some valuable input here. I think I will try and keep my distance as best I can. When this is unavoidable, I think acting as an observer is a very good idea.

I also like Guyomech's approach. Although this will be challenging, I think it will offer greater rewards.

I like Sky Motion's idea Though failing everything, I will take soulfood's approach, and lurk in the shadows uttering "bitch!" under my breath.

Peace

Macre

This may sound immature, But I have the feeling that maybe shes sexually attracted to you.
Give her the love.

Yeah, sometimes that kind of complication can lead to unearned nastiness.

Toxic people?

I think everything and everybody that at any point make part of our history has a purpose. yes, it might be hard to be surround by toxic people, but maybe they need to be close to us for growing purposes? what about if we need to learn from them too? in any case, what i do is just try to be in their place, try to understand why...why they are in the way they are, and try not to judge....this last is soo difficult for me, as an imperfect being i achive this half of the time, but i keep trying. if their negativity is affecting me a lot i just go away.

If negative or "toxic" people were simply ignored it would perpetuate individual suffering for many people. I would have never seen the light, I also doubt I would have ever began my transformation nor changed my philosophy on life if people simply dismissed and ignored me due to negativity. Everyone has the capacity to see for the first time, why don't you try and help them open their eyes? People may surprise you.