The following is a short fictional story i've been writing;100 mg Caapi copy (equivalent to 20 g of Caapi) dissolved in lemon juice and citrus blend fruit juice
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1.8g liberty cap mushrooms soaked in lemon juice and the citrus fruits juice for half an hour and drunk half hour after the caapi copy.
Total duration 8 – 9 hours.
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My long wait to be introduced to the beautiful Mama Aya is finally over.
I set my intentions and opened up a dialogue with what I was about to do.
First glimpse of a distant relative or ancestor of mine, from my dad's side of the family. He didn't say anything but In the moments where I first encountered him, I knew he was just seeing that I had 'checked in' with a knowing look on his face.
For an hour or 2 things started to gradually build up in intensity. Moments of seduction occurred as I encountered either female spirits or the spirit of Aya herself.I felt this was for the purpose of accelerating my experience .My inner dialogue was spiraling in all kinds of directions but I was having trouble letting go and I knew My ego fore-sore it was about to get it's ass kicked when I saw an image of it cowering under the weight of the spirit filled room.
I was completely out of my depth and a large part of the trip was very rough, as my ego was resisting in what ever corner of my psyche it could find. One Spirit in particular ,would regularly dart in front my vision from the right side of me and back really quickly. It didn't feel intrusive or show any hint of malice even though it was right in my face. Besides , Now's not a time to be putting up personal space boundaries right
?
What made the experience that little bit denser, was the fact my mum was in the room next to me this whole time ,unaware of what I was doing. Something I both regret, yet completely embrace as it enhanced my awareness of the fractal-flow of spirit that presents it's self through organic matter (living things) . I was back in a primal state in feotul position facing my mum's bedroom. Aware that my belly button was more than just a cord to the umbilical of my mum, but a cord of the entire universe's
embryonic lineage.
What was strange was that ,I was aware, that she was aware , of the discomfort I was in.
intuition. I was trying to block the telepathic interference I felt I was having with my family, and other friends in my life. As soon as I thought of them I would feel as If my brain's tuner would tune into their waves – I felt and heard occasional jolts of wave 'interference' when this happened.
Finally the focus was back on my 'self ' and eventually I had gone so far back, that I felt the pain and trauma of the ever present metamorphosis between
spirit and organic
matterI saw how the deepest
wounds within a persons ego stemmed not just from the years of family and social conditioning, but from the departure of the timeless '
void' via our moment of conception.
∞
Departure ∞ Arrival
∞ Departure ∞ Arrival
∞
Waves of insight flooded me and the illusionary boundaries between my own 'suffering' and the rest of the world's suffering dissolved as I realized we all shared the same
birth mark.Through feeling the deep -rooted 'pain' of all things, I felt a strong sense of compassion towards everything. I hadn;t properly looked into them before, but I strongly felt the extent of the 4 Noble truths in Buddhism and how they really applied themselves.
The truth of suffering (dukkha)
The truth of the cause of suffering (samudaya)
The truth of the end of suffering (nirhodha)
The truth of the path that frees us from suffering (magga)I Realized suffering was a completely necessary thing in the quest to experience Union with the universe. I became aware of how the universe had separated its' self and branched out into infinite directions until the day where each 'final' ( current) leaf and fruit feels the weight of the disconnection to the point where[/color]
re-
union must occur. I realized that the ego was a necessary tool of survival and that we are gradually learning to loose dependency on it , as the illusionary boundaries between all things start to dissolve. . . . . . . . . . . .
Once I had realized the completeness of all things there was nothing left for me to do apart from enjoy the pure perfection of being.
This would eventually lead back into the awareness of self, or personal ego, and I was confused as to why I was feeling this level of joy now, while others are barely surviving physical life. Again, I was pointed
back/
forward into the completeness, of all things, and 'no- things' .I was reassured that this was still a part of the whole process of collective liberation & union and that compassion towards bringing others into this same state of completeness would help lead us further into the -sum-totality- of all parts.
I slowly drifted back down into a glowing state of relaxation while still in the presence of spirits. Some curious, some seemingly indifferent. The room now felt more enchanted and I saw very subtle and faint butterfly-esqe lights fluttering on my the silhouette of my hand against the blue and black patterned backdrop.
I went to the toilet for maybe the 4th time that night. I had no purge or nausea but knew that my over-heating ,sweating and ammount of liquid that came out of me that i was still being cleansed from the inside. Each visit to the toilet wasvery disorientating but there's nothing quite like looking at your every day mundane toilet and literally seeing it in a new beautiful ethereal light
I eventually fell asleep for a few hours after being blessed by the sound of a large cat purring in my ear. I didnt see the cat but could hear it. I woke up the next day with a huge after glow. My interactions with my family were completely mindful and my positive actions and words created a chain reaction of progression within the house that day.
I had a joint then the most refreshing shower i've ever had. It felt like it was the first time i'd ever felt the sensation of water. It was pretty amazing and I was completely zoning out uncontrollably.
I drank some fruit juice, ate some food and spoke to my friend the next day and recited as much as I could remember. The night before we had agreed that he would try and send me an image and I would see if I could pick up on it. Just as I had mentioned that towards the end of the experience I saw a glimpse of a 'pirate ship', he had told me he had sent out the image of a boat for me to pick up on. I didn't consciously absorb the image as coming from him, but it must have been sent out into the ether and received one way or another. when i saw the pirate ship, it was conveyed that it meant i must be careful when in foreign waters. a respectful warning against intergalactic pirates and entities i would assume.
I felt (feel) like I know exactly what I need to do now, and I know that when I eventually fall 'out' of the flow, there will always be paths back into it so long as there is a pinch of self motivation and realization to
accentuate the flow as apposed to consciously or unconsciously resiting it.
I know that my connection with ,and understanding of nature will constantly increase as my interest in ethnobotany and entheogens will always point me in the directions of the plants,herbs,vines,trees,flowers and lotus's that will benefit myself and others around me. At some point in the night , an old rotted blue lotus had fallen out from my desk draw onto my sub. This was a sign for me to buy some fresh blue lotus which led me to also buy some passion flower and some Celastrus Paniculatus Seeds which i've never tried before. I've also been looking into Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine so im looking forward to regularly cleaning my entire body from inside out and being more mindful of what i do,eat,say and think.
I feel deeply humbled by the whole experience and I look forward to opening future dialogues with all of nature, the spirit realm and entire universe again. Not that the dialogue is ever absent anyway.
Any
...way
...(if this is in the wrong section please move it , I've put it in here as i felt it was more of a Caapi experience than a shroom experience but the synergy was still there on some level. )○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○