The overall replies should be very helpful, I guess.
When I look at the way you formulate your problem;
You use phrases like; compensate, afterlife, 'getting there'.

Get rid of those concepts. DMT can help you break them down, sure.
But that's just another method, don't cling to it.

As long as you see your life as something you 'have', you dissassociate yourself from it.
If you keep searching for the point where 'you will be compensated'..
Well, then you just miss the whole point of it.

Throw away your scorecard of loneliness, stop comparing yourself with others and concentrate on what's left after you got rid of these things.

Personally I believe the path of knowledge is meant to be a somewhat lonesome one...
and yet we are never really alone on it are we?

by the way I notice you said "when I get there naturally"
care to expound?

Worry about existing now, do anything and everything you want, press and pursue the things you love, continue to find ways to grow. Happiness and fulfillment will follow.
Noone really knows the happinings once our biological bodies die, not for sure, so enjoy the fact that you're alive now, it's amazing this gift we all have. Go, son, go.

o o so true, live in the moment, not speaking absolute truths but for all we know there is no god,creator/s, or afterlife. Do what you please.

Sure, I meant when I die when my "time is up" as opposed to intentionally killing myself.

This is something to live by.

for the past year, I've been staying inside the house on the internet all day every day, too depressed or paranoid to venture out into the world.

Why paranoid? because I've been stalked by sociopaths and their minions plenty of times. And no, it's not schizophrenia.

sorry for all the posts, don't know how to double quote

I know there's no point complaining to people on an online forum, except maybe to vent. I hate to be this "type" of poster, haha.

Make some plans and go do something you'll enjoy and will provide you with challenge.
Gogo! I hope you find the happiness you're looking for

Oh OK,

I sort of misunderstood.
Forgive me if you already said and I missed reading it somewhere
but have you tried DMT yet?

Unfortunately, I have not tried DMT or any psychedelic for that matter.

I'm considering ordering 4-ACO-DMT from an online vendor though...

I've read that that drug is more similiar to psilocybin mushrooms than N,N-DMT though

Word.

^^ This.

It's time to get excited about life, mate. It's all a great mystery! All of human history supports you being here--every decision, every triumph, every failure, every thought and hope and love brought you to where you are right now.

No matter what your belief system is, the following statement is true:

Everything you think is true about yourself...is only true to this very moment. Everything you don't like about yourself is only a part of you at this time and place. This means that every second is an opportunity for change. A chance to drop the things that you don't like and embrace the ones that you do.

The only thing that truly defines who you are is who you THINK you are. Step outside your ideas of who you've been and start being who you want to be.

WP

HEY cadaver, Hermano,

Bro i know how you feel i went through a really dark and low place that sometimes shadows me still today.
Sometimes it felt like i was feeling all the sorrow for the world, there are tough times in life,

I believe we must find a way to direct them, in my lowest i found a passion for writing, and am a midst writing a book, that will hopefully give me some funds to travel wide, or at least give me some sense of accomplishment.

I do believe we exclude ourselves.

But maybe there is something more you are to do, maybe you are past school day socializing and are just feeling the sadness of letting go of something?

Try finding some HIPPY events get togethers they are world wide, if you look with the fire in your heart you will find everything.

Make some goals, find your passion, there will always be times you have to force that smile and even when it feels so fake it helps.

The secret is to imagine the things that make you happy make you feel love make you smile.
one good thought leads to another thought.

If your thoughts sometimes run away from you, like a freight train, mine do, a good trick always works.
When they roll away on a bad roll, ask yourself something, try a positive question.

The brain cannot help itself IT MUST ANSWER, or at least change thought direction.

You will get through it brother.
Find some HIPPYS, or your passion.
If ever you are in Australia give me a private message and we will kick it.

I am planning now, when i pay all my debts aha lol :-( )
To fill a back pack and buy a ticket to south america, maybe give all my stuff away, i am learning spanish.

"KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE" ALWAYS ON THE PRIZE

I know you will get stronger, it seems crude but we need to callus a thick skin to walk this world.

Have you seen The Secret DVD, or The Power cds? about the law of attraction, most laugh at it but any one who has smoked DMT or used psychedelics can understand, it takes time to implement it but it works.

be positive you will find happiness and so much more, YOU will make others happy too.

PEACE*LOVE* and LSD OH AND DMT AHA
PLRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

So you got some stalkers, eh? Consider yourself being a lucky guy. Definitely a sign to shape up and teach these guys a lesson. Start exercising hard, it'll improve your mood, health and self-confidence. And then you will realize that the universe sent you these guys on purpose to be a stronger, happier and healthier person.

Some inspiration for you:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLUr6umbEm0

I live my life under the assumption that I'm here to get something over with. If I don't do it I will be sent back to start over like an early 90s computer game with limited lives... I take every opportunity possible just incase I get to hyperspace naturally and they say "Sorry pal, you still didn't get it... Here's another 7week old embryo to inhabit; better luck next time"

Do you really want to do it all again ad infinitum??

Get off your ass, NOW!