This thread intends to bring together ashtanga yogis and yoginis of the Nexus. As a dedicated ashtanga practitioner, I have to find inspiration and motivation day by day.

My route towards ashtanga has been quite colorful. Many years ago I started exercising just to lose some weight and become a little fitter. Being a very energetic person, with several years of learning from what psychedelics had to offer, I began researching the possibilities of combining physical exercise with some kind of spiritual training. As I live in a town where it’s impossible to find anything like this, I began my extensive research on the web. It was kundalini yoga that first caught my attention, and began practicing it 2-3 times a week, with great joy and satisfaction. However, after a year or so, I could do all the poses, movements, the breathwork, and it started to become less and less intriguing. During this period, I began meditating with and without pot, and really focusing on a clearing my mind. Then one day I watched a documentary about all kinds of yoga styles, where ashtanga was presented. The next day, I started with a David Swenson video, and I was shocked how difficult it was. I couldn’t even do the chaturanga, and after the two sun salutation sequences, I was more dead than alive… And all this while being very fit!! So, this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

It’s been 2 years since I began practicing the first series, at home (as there is absolutely no yoga course where I live – sounds like middle ages, but yeah, I live in a straaange place), and it definitely changed my lifestyle a lot, my relationship with my body and my mind. First of all, I had to become very organized. Time management was not exactly my speciality, and my practice required almost 90 minutes, 6 days a week. It was a real challenge to find this time day by day. Sometimes I wake up at 5 in the morning to do it. And I do it, because it takes me to a completely different dimension if consciousness given by the effort to control my body, my breathing and my mind at the same time. When I first felt the harmony that emanates from the asanas and vinyasas, I knew right away that is was meant for me, I was meant for this.

Body. I’m very fit and strong, yet ridiculously inflexible. This type of yoga contains loads of asanas that require super flexibility, and if you don’t have it, then you’ll have to work your way to gain it. That’s the secret of ashtanga. In the beginning I thought I could do this my whole life with only vague results, however, after many months of consistent practice, I succeeded to do one teeny-tiny thing and that for me was a breakthrough. It was enough to motivate me for another few months! Of course, once hooked on it, doing it regularly and not focusing on achieving resuls but rather on feeling good in each posture (and recognizing the limits) makes me realize that I’m slowly but surely making progress. I have to do lots of research and study all asanas in depth because there is nobody to correct me.
I became a close friend of my body; I can’t say I had problems with it, but this practice makes you feel your body on the level of organs, it helps you to control your movements and to better tolerate physical pain. Not to mention its powerful immune boosting effect, and also its effect on physical appearance – it tones muscles, that become long and lean. Thanks to the practice, I learned to love and cherish my body.

Breath. In ashtanga ujjayi breathing is used, that is victorious breathing in Sanskrit, where the powerful inhalation takes place from the chest (the abdominal muscle is slightly pulled inside, and the rectal muscle needs to be squeezed in slightly, for support). I found this kind of breathing has detoxifying effects, it helps to sweat during the practice, and its other main function is to help perform the postures and movements correctly. I transferred conscious breathing to other moments of my life, because it’s relaxing, lifts my mood, and dissolves fear. Conscious breathing is my companion during my encounters with ayahuasca, and it also created a highly relaxed mood when I first smoked spice. Whenever something happens that I don’t like or makes me angry, anxious, or sad, I try to come back to the breathing, and in short time, everything falls into the right place.
Pranayama is also an essential part of this lifestyle, not long ago I started doing the BKS Iyengar method (pranayama used in hatha yoga) that consists of three stages, inhalation (puraka), retention (antara kumbhaka), and exhalation (rechaka). I think this will give results on the long-term, too. For the beginning, this pranayama technique really refreshes and energizes – this is what I experienced until now.

Mind. I should have begun with this part, as it is the foundation of all. Yet it is so difficult to catch its essence… So here’s my very subjective view on training the mind for ashtanga yoga. The situation: I have to practice yoga on my own, as there are no classes available in my area. I’m working, doing my second degree, I’m a wife, caring for my partner, doing all the housework, etc. The list is long! I had to make the effort to train my mind in the first place. To change my habitual patterns, such as going to sleep earlier in order to be able to wake up fresh before sunrise. Or, to learn how to find motivation when I feel I’m lacking it; in other words, to learn how to control moods. There is no such thing as I don’t feel like doing it today. This pattern simply seizes to exist. This mind training needs time to develop, and a huge amount of patience. This way, mind becomes balanced in relation to all aspects: body, thoughts, problems, fear, stress and other issues. The “ashtanga mind” helps me a lot with mediation – when I’m not using any psychedelic aids (with aids, I’m simply there and that’s it). And last but not least, this balanced mind constantly improves my relationships with people. It develops a friendly and humble attitude.

Psychedelics and ashtanga yoga. It’s not surprising I guess that using them have inspired me on my yoga journey. When I began practicing, it was acid that showed me the endless possibilities that my practice can offer me. Ashtanga yoga feels great on acid, actually. I also like to contemplate on the countless changes ashtanga has taken me through while drinking ayahuasca. I feel the warm and loving energy of this wonderful plant teacher while doing so. Yoga is certainly something very positive I embarked on in this life. On my first encounter with changa, I was sitting in lotus, while enjoying the visuals, the jungle-like nature and my friends’ happy faces. After the peak was over, I stayed alone under a big oak tree, in silence. Everything was just perfect – my mind was feeling great and my body was floating. I was completely dissolved in emptiness, and all I knew was that I was on the right track. Because of the plant spirit, and maybe because of my trained mind by all that consistent practice. I think all of this is inter-related. Working on living a healthy and focused life, you become balanced and happy. This is the simple mantra that guides me in life.

Sooo, after expressing my love for ashtanga, I’d love to read your adventures with yoga, and of course, not only ashtanga. What is your opinion on the yoga-entheogen relationship? What is your inspiration for practice, what do you find difficult and how do you overcome these difficulties?

Many thanks for reading my yoga-story, I hope that even those of you who don’t practice it, will find it inspiring and motivating! All questions are warmly welcome!

I practiced Ashtanga for about 10 years. It really is a fantastic discipline and I will undoubtedly return to it. The only drawback is the practice is the same every day unless you get beyond the first series, which requires a great deal of work for most people. I'd still be practicing if there were two or three primary series to provide variation. Personally, I can't imagine combining Ashtanga with entheogens as Ashtanga is extremely vigorous and my body is usually pretty out of it under the influence of plants. Recently I've taken up Tai Chi as a discipline which I can also combine with entheogens.

Thanks for the wonderful essay, Drishti.

eH

I can so much relate to most of what you are writing. After an Ayahuasca experience where I felt my body being perfect and balanced in all sense, I was disappointed to loose this feeling by the end of the session. But it made me realize how much I mistreat it and that this state of feeling is entirely possible. So I started going to the gym and doing some running. After a few months in the gym I could notice that I could lift 2 or 3 times the weight I could lift in the beginning but, when I was trying to do something involving the work of many muscles at a time, like push ups, I was getting tired immediately and running out of breath.

So after that, I decided to stop going to the gym and start doing sets of exercises involving my body weight. This was going great and I continued doing that for a few more months. At some point I decided to go and try yoga. In my University they were offering classes every week with a very small price tag. They were doing 2 times a week Ashtanga yoga and 2 times a week Hatha. My first lesson was on Ashtanga. By the end of it I was destroyed on the floor thinking OMG I feel awesome. And that was it. I stopped everything else and I was just doing this.

So in the beginning it was twice a week attending in that class. After a while that I learned a bit the sequence, I started practising at home as well. But I could never exceed the 3 times a week limit. My body was getting so tired and if I was trying to do yoga the next day, not only my muscles were stiff and hurting, but sometimes I seemed to have a great weakness coming from deep inside me. The problem was that when University was closed, classes were suspended. I tried to continue practising at home but for periods I just could not do it due to external responsibilities. I also was noticing that if I was stopping practice completely for more than a week, it was just if I was starting from the beginning again with stiff muscles and weak body. Occasionally I was feeling great and I could feel the benefits of my practice on my body. But it was more of an awareness of my muscles during the healing process.

So after about 9 months of this on/off thing I said to myself that I want to create this habbit. I liked this practice and I wanted to adjust my body and be able to do it 6 times a week. And here is where the hard part begun. It is painful, both physically and mentally. And it lasts forever. First of all it required as you said to set a certain time that will be the same every day. Organization is something that I hate. But I had to do it. I had also to "train" everyone else that me, every day at this time, I do yoga. So they had to respect it when they were arranging stuff including me in. Then there comes the torture. Endless torture. Sweat dropping from my nose to the yoga mat. Me trying to breath properly while at the same time my one leg is trembling and my balance is kept as of a miracle. So many times questioning my self WHY am I doing that. And obviously the next day sitting on my laptop before the practice time trying to find an important thing to do in order to win sometime and postpone the beginning of the torture. Not to mention that afterwards I could do absolutely nothing because I was knackered.

Now, after 2,5 months of this, I can't describe to you how wonderful I feel. This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever done in my life and I never want to leave it. My body feels light. I go up the stairs and I feel like I am walking on a straight road. My nose has been unblocked after years of partial blockage. Sometimes I feel cool sweet breeze at the joints of my bones. I wake up in the mornings by myself much easier. I feel calmer and more concentrated. I move and do stuff slower but with more certainty. I am developing awareness. During my practice now, I can do all of the standing sequence with deep slow steady breathing. I am not trying anymore. I just go into position and I align. Ashtanga yoga is a lonely practice. It becomes a rare moment to be with yourself. I don't get big muscles but I don't care at all. Because I remember. I remember a few months before staying on a posture and my muscles burning me out of pain. And now I am on the same posture as if I am laying on my bed. And I can't believe it. And sometimes my eyes get wet because I can't believe it. My body stands taller and I am starting to really like my body. Not that I ever hated it. But I cannot really explain the feeling.

And all this, thinking that I am such a beginner. What's next?? But I do not care. I am not pushing anymore like a maniac. I do not have a goal. I am just getting into position being generous on effort and trying first and foremost to do it right. There are so many little details. With time you feel it. You feel the posture and you feel it when you do it right. It guides you with a magical way. It autocorrects you. I feel I have a lifetime to practice. It is becoming more of a pleasure rather than something I "have to" do. I strongly recommend it to anyone.

Hey EmptyHand, thanks for your comment. 10 years of ashtanga is quite a lot, and it is indeed a discipline that requires iron willpower. Many people quit because there are no variations among the series. I often introduce a few elements from Iyengar, just to spice up my practice a bit.
If you like Tai Chi, but still consider to go back to ashtanga, I'd recommend you researched a bit the system of Budokon yoga:

http://www.budokon.com/aboutbud...hp?selected=aboutbudokon

Budokon is a combination of ashtanga and martial arts (karate, jiu-jitsu, tae-kwon-do) standing and ground elements. It has 4 series, all of them very difficult, but very dynamic. Check it out!

Blesses

SalooM, it was great reading about your relationship with ashtanga, many thanks for it! When you do it alone, do you prefer practicing in silence or with some music / sounds? I generally practice in silence, but sometimes like to create a nice atmosphere by listening to hang drum or Tibetan bowls. Only these two work for me, if the music is too conceptual, I tend to lose my focus. What about you?

Happy (and sweaty ) practices to you!

I practice in silence all the time! But I remember a few times I have practiced with a friend of mine in her house and she used to put some Indian music in the background. It was very nice indeed. Usually when I am focuced, I cannot get distracted by music (unless it is overwhelmingly annoying). The best part of it though was after practice when I was laying on savasana. Music was passing through me!! The hang drum and the Tibetan bowls sound like a really nice setting!! I will try them one day

Listen I want to ask you something..The last week I am feeling that I am getting stiffer and stiffer and that I am running out of breath so much easier and all this is making me think that I am going backwards for a reason. The last few days I am in a new place and I have changed my habits abit. Have you noticed any difference between practicing early in the morning or in the evening?? Or any differences on stiffness depending how many hours have you slept (with too much sleep making it worse??). Or the effect of the consumption on different kinds of food??

I liked the iron will power comment!! Unfortunately the same iron will power is making it so hard for me to let go on Ayahuasca. I guess a coin has 2 sides!!

Also I want to add that, I find it much better to practice in a place that is spacious. I cannot explain this but in my house I have a very little space to practice and whenever I have the chance to practice in a big room with a high ceiling, my practice feels a lot different!!

When I practice early in the morning (at 6 a.m.), my body is very stiff, yet my mind is so fresh, that I overcome my stiffness with concentration. After the 2 suryanamaskars, I’m already pretty bendy. Also, more difficult asanas (such as bhujapidasana, kukkutasana or utpluthee asana) seem to be easier to hold during an early morning practice. In the afternoon, I’m more bendy, but my mind is already tired, and focusing seems harder. Music can help me increase my concentration (the hang drum or Tibetan bowls), as I always listen to them when I practice later during the day. In the morning I don’t need any music. So, I try to divide my practice this way: 3 times in the morning + 3 times in the afternoon / week. This creates a balanced yoga week for me!

On space – yes, I love a spacious room when it comes to practice. Thankfully my room is really big, with high walls, it is indeed a blessing to practice in such a place. However, when I travel, my mat comes with me always, and I can manage in a small room with no problem. I think that if I had to move to a much smaller apartment, that wouldn’t affect the intensity of my practice. And when spring comes, I like to practice outdoors, there are nice places near the city I live, and nature and the fresh air really boost my practice a lot!

Thank you for your insight fellow friends. I will be training at yoga center of minneapolis to become a yoga teacher this year. I have been practicing ashtanga/hatha yoga about twice weekly for 9 months now.

I am curious if any of you have taken your practices to the level of meditatiin yet, and if so I am interested in your insight on it.

You're going to be practically next door! I live in Rochester and have been toying with the idea of moving to the Cities in the next few years. So much to do! Have you been to the The Wellness Center in Minneapolis? I've been in their Floatation Tank several times, it's an amazing experience if you have never tried it. http://minneapoliswellnesscenter.com/

Sorry to go off topic. I don't have too much to add other than that I've found immense benefit from practicing Qigong and Taiqi. I love Wuji Standing Meditation.

Thats exciting to hear about a fellow nexian in my proximity!
I have done the flotation tank there as well; my experience was also delightful.

Thank you for the recommends on those other practices, I shall investigate. I am unfamiliar but when I was growing up I did taekwondo so the whole body discipline thing comes naturally to me by this point.

SpartanII,

I am now a few weeks into my teacher training program at the yoga center, and ive been doing about 2 drop ins a day for almost a week now, so ive been really active with it. There is a diverse pool of yoga varieties practiced and taught by the teachers such as mi-an, kundalini, tantra, ashtanga, etc. Many of the teachers specialize. I am becoming sucked into the vast pool of community here. I definetely recommend at least doing a drop in or two, in addition to any workshops or ideally the teacher training program itself if you have the means.