Hi y'all, I'm sharing this iboga report on behalf of my friend olio who is a new member on here and unable to post yet. I think this is a beatifully written account of an iboga experience that I feel some here would also find interesting.
The quote "You don't go to the land of the dead, the land of the dead comes to you" was burning through my ears, branded by my dreams, as I heard the first signs of life, "It's morning," escape from my own mouth. I was in disbelief, there is an end to iboga.
After hearing Aubrey Marcus's description of ibogaine on Joe Rogan's podcast* I knew it was time to dance with the big bad doctor, I had heard trace-accounts of the medicine for many years but never had interest in it, I always just saw it as a fringe, pointless, voodoo-type thing...
I fasted for 12 hours.I was able to extract 4.66g of an extracted form of iboga rootbark total alkaloids. The substance was vile looking, dark as dark and judging by the taste of the pills I packaged it in afterwards, equally bitter. By the time I had finished the extraction it was already 1am but I had set my goal time to begin this and there was no changing my mind, so at around quarter after 1 I popped 2 of my 4 TA pills and 2 1g pills of RB. Nightshades ON, whole ride.
I heard someone entering my house, which was totally unusual. Turns out it was my mom, (I was going to have a sitter afterall!) she made a last minute decision to drive an hour out of her way at midnight to be by my side. Amazing. I could feel it tuning up, getting ready, starting to work the gears. It felt as if there was a hive of hibernating bees within my body beginning to stir.
A distinctly insect-like buzzing was growing louder and louder with every passing minute and it felt like my body was being filled with a thick, hot mucous, flooding my every sense and thought. As I was lying on my back, mummy-style, I felt as if I was being lowered into an infinite abyss, through the earth and I knew if I wanted to take the rest it was now or never, I popped 2 more TA pills and 2 RB pills for a total of 4.66g of alkaloids and 3g of raw, powdered, root bark. Time to put on the bwiti fang music and dissipate...
The visuals began to kick in fast! My first taste, as I was in the washroom I saw little Quetzacoatl's made of rainbow light slithering up and down the wall. But they were always a little out of my vision, I could never focus on anything, everything was incredibly slippery, I was definitely involved in some form of task or trial, trying to accomplish what should be the simplest tricks of the mind. It felt like I was in a stare-down I just couldn't manage to last through, but with every failure I came back and tried again. It felt like I was trying to juggle handfulls of beach sand.
I could feel and see my body being deeply scrubbed and cleansed by millions of benevolent little blue guys, just scrubbing and cleaning, whistle while you work.
The visuals that I do remember were incredibly vivid and intense. Iboga was basically showing me how simple creation is, everything is just made by the source, as simple as a thought. He would take toys of daffy duck and bugs bunny and make them explode into infinite fractal replicates of themselves, there were fountains of these self-creating cartoon characters flowing all through my mind. Then came visions of grotesque violence but shown in an objective manner, hundreds of thousand-foot tall women all in line working at a factory but they were cutting off their own limbs with every mechanical move and instantly re-growing them! It was a gore factory, blood, porn, death, violence, all the bad shit. Right there, for me, vood-oo heads with snakes flowing out of every orifice laughing maniacally in my face... but it was all in good humor, the underlying theme was "Of course all this shit exists! So what?! You think you get any good without bad? Deal with it boy."
Other visions included a cosmic flowering of our entire universe, a return to entropy-reduction, we have just finished the great universal exhale and now begins the endless inhale of Love and Light. I had visions of winged-hippies flying through the cosmos seeding planets with joy, ecstacy, love and freedom. The real movement of the ages. But as I began to see these visions as "better" than the negative ones I was brought back to the place of darkness, over and over again until I was totally equanimous with both situations.
Physically I was a total mess, I had to get up to diarrhea quite a few times and walking felt like I had been filled with wet cement, my visual screen was an absolute wreck, I couldn't see shit captain, it was like I had just lost cable on my TV set and was barely catching 3 channels above.
It always came back to the work though. Sure I could let my ego wander off and entertain itself for a while, but that underlying staring-contest was always looking back at me, meditation, meditation, meditation.
My ego was highlighted by an arrow cursor, hiding in the tiny recesses of mind. I had never seen such amazing ego-separation and never knew how much talking the little guy actually did, 99% of the time I thought it had been my true self talking, it was just ego acting a little enlightened. Now I could see the little guy myself, hiding in my inner ear, right in the bottom corner a little black speck.
He definitely didn't like having the spot-light on him, very uncomfortable, but very rewarding. After the real heavy flood effect wore off I thought it was ending... it was just beginning. The second 12 hours were even more harrowing because I was so sober-feeling, so lucid, my mind was clear but I was still deep in the trenches. I could barely walk and opening my eyes was unbearable pain so I just lied there and meditated the best I could. The over-arching message of this process was "Take advantage of the work assigned to you now, you won't always have the opportunity, this is about putting in work, good work"
The processes of nature always move in natural formations, like wave-patterns, in all cases, especially evolution. Weird counter-culture trends and memes are the beginning stages of widely accepted ideas, like the spores of a mushroom colony just beginning to land, I felt like I was part of some great spore movement here on Earth.
When not wearing my bwiti headphones the noise was so loud as I sit here typing this my ears feel like I was at a rock-concert last night. Everything is made of fractals, as above so below, the building blocks are the final product. The Universe simply creates freely and infinitely. It's the true idea of an infinite amount of monkeys on type-writers, except the monkeys are atoms and they know exactly what the fuck they are doing, everything is in place at all times. This is a place of structure and order amidst the chaos, we feel like we are being pulled out of control by forces outside of us but that is just a placebo effect, in actuality everything is always going exactly as it was going to go. God hit play.
I went through countless scenes from my childhood and saw how people don't need a conscious to exist, they just run program imbedded in them. This universe is like a really complicated computer with instant internet.
Even though it was extremely complex and complicated there was something ageless and out-dated about the whole process like digging up an ancient artifact that converts static elec. into pure energy. When Aubrey said "It lasts forever" he wasn't exaggerating, litterally, FOREVER. The challenge of being God over my own personal universe was set and I accepted... I have no choice.
I never remembered falling asleep, must have been around midnight, maybe 23 hours after dosing or so... My dreams were incredibly vivid, think the movie "waking life," it was all one-on-one interactions with different aspects of myself, wisdom, violence, lust, beauty all of it. These dreams were incredibly realistic, they happened to me, I met many people, old ones, loved ones, new beings.
An old wise, heavenly Indian sage told me that Domestication of the universe to serve man-kind is our ultimate goal, peaceful domestication, like a well-loved grass-fed cow, she's happy to die once she gets old and feed her amazingly loving masters, it's her highest pleasure. This is how we must treat our universe, understanding it is here to serve the human condition but utilizing right understanding and knowledge to do so in a harmonious way.
My last dream I was sitting in an old park by my childhood house with a young man who talked very fast and urgently and the last thing he said was "When I talked to Socrates he told me You don't go to the land of the dead, the Land of the dead comes to you!"
Then I opened my eyes and it was morning.. I couldn't believe the peace and silence, my head has never been this quiet, I felt weightless, I was laughing, crying, hugging myself. I've never felt ecstasy like this. Relief from extreme pain is the highest form of ecstasy. A great burden has been lifted.
I've never felt so proud of myself, a pride that does not stem from egoic task-accomplishment, an inescapable and impossibly-deep sense of self-pride pulsates through my every cell presently.
The whole experience was sincerely uncomfortably enlightening... I felt like I was in good hands the whole time, I felt safe, I didn't need a sitter she was just there for moral support.
Thank you, everyone.
A special thanks goes out to my brother bancopuma, he made this experience possible!
p.s My dieta consisted of organic bananas and Cleeeaaaaannn water for about the last month..
pps I crammed to over-stand the math of ascension.
* - pocast link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR9P7ksKktM