Early on in my DMT experiences, upon loading the largest dose I've smoked to date with 60mg in the GVG and taking my hits, I had this sense of "impending doom". I didn't really view it in terms of dying because the rational part of me that was still left knew that DMT could not kill you. But nevertheless, the sensation scared the hell out of me, and I became too scared to close my eyes. If I had closed my eyes, it probably would have been my first breakthrough, but I didn't...but it was beautiful anyway, and ultimately nothing bad ended up happening which I took note of.
So a couple months later I took 4 hits out of the GVG (my vaping technique was pretty poor at the time, but 4 hits was more than usual even for me). I once again had this sense of impending doom. It's the kind of feeling and intensity lingering in the air where the lamp is whispering to the cable box, "he's really done it this time. he's really f*$#@ed now." It's sort of like the feeling that a nuclear bomb is going off and the whole world is coming to an end. Luckily, I didn't let fear and poor memory get the better of me. I thought to myself, "well, this has happened before, and when it happened last time, nothing really bad happened, so nothing bad will probably happen now," and so with that thought, I took a fifth hit (I don't know how it's possible either, never done it before or since) and my surroundings and reality were going so overboard, they didn't even know how to react or behave. I sat back, closed my eyes, and had my first sublime breakthrough. It was everything I could have hoped for and more.
Fast-forward to this past Christmas. I loaded up and vaped 15mg harmine followed immediately by 15mg DMT. Upon holding in my single hit of DMT, I got that familiar and now welcome feeling of impending doom (or dying as so many of you like to put it). Recalling my success from pushing the boundaries at this stage in the game from the past, I took another hit, ignoring the alarming tension in the air. I sat back and closed my eyes as one holographic scene after another layered themselves on top of one another so that each scene was unique yet contributing to the larger whole at the same time. There were many Egyptian holograms, and I recall seeing the face of the Sphinx in the last scene when all of a sudden white began ballooning out of it all. I ended up concluding that with all these holographic scenes or "dimensions" layered one on top of the other that eventually all the colors of the spectrum began to be present on top of each other such that there was a sort of "reverse Zeeman effect" causing white to appear (being the culmination of all other light frequencies). As the white began appearing, time went from hyper fast to being non-existent almost entirely. This grand, over-joyous, loving white entity came out of the middle of what was now a completely white scene with the absolute euphoria that accompanies a white light encounter with the godhead.
Now this sense of impending doom is not a frequent phenomena for me, but when I see the warning signs in the air, instead of reacting with fear, curling up in a ball and trying to abort or back down or something of the sort, I welcome it wholeheartedly. My body may be going through a fight or flight fear response, but my mind reassures me that everything is perfect, and the stage has been set for what's about to be with no doubt, a very special experience. If you feel like you're dying, and you can just throw everything to the wind, fantastic things can happen (only on DMT
).
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein
"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead
"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb