My options this summer are:

1. Spend $2,000 total to fly to Iquitos and have a trusty shaman-guided ayahuasca retreat.

2. Drive to Canada, buy some iboga TA and take it with a sitter. I estimate this will cost no more than $700

3. Find something cheaper than $2,000 in North or South America that will do as much work as Ayahuasca can? Join a Native American church in Oklahoma (peyote)?

Question is, which one of these options will do more for me healing wise?

I have some serious mental blockages and I'd like to avoid this
Iboga's dark side

---The best way I can describe my mental blocks would be to say I've shut the world out. I'm only experiencing it on a dull-emotional level. I feel no love, I feel distant from my parents, brother even though we get along. I have this feeling like I can't be close to them. I've always felt this and would even go as far to say I never really loved them until my apprehension of experimenting with psychedelics.
---I am stable it seems, I am a CDL driver and can't keep my cool around bad drivers and situations that would make others angry, impatient, nervous, uncertain... It's just like I said, the world is a dull place for me. Meditation doesn't do much to open me up, but it has it's benefits.
---I have even done a 10-Day vipassana retreat and it barely scratched the surface. Quite painful and equanimous , but I had no fear of finishing the retreat because I was unable to penetrate my psyche very deeply.

I'm all ears to whatever you guys can share and I will gladly spend 2k to avoid worsening my condition.

Much appreciated,
forrest.

You can brew your own aya.

Depends on what you mean by "overall healing"

I wouldn't approach a substance with the mindset..well I hope this heals me..overall.

Have an intention, something specific you want to work with, IMO, is crucial to journeying.

And as House mentioned, why not brew your own? Save 1,900$ and still heal, learn, and do work on your own, unless you are uncomfortable with this.

Best of luck.

Another thing, sometimes this stuff takes a lot of work. Meaning, sometimes you need to trip more than one time. I wouldn't expect a single dose of anything to be enough, at least for me, we are all unique and should hold no expectations to these things really...

There is something beautiful about integrating medicinal substances into your life, who you are, where you are, your space. It becomes a part of all of this that helps maintain balance. By removing yourself from this, when the trip is over, you still need to come back home and face what it is you thought you left behind.

I have experience with Ayahuasca, it's just the experiences never take off. No visuals, no journey, subtle healing. I recently did a 50 caapi, 25 mimosa brew with white vinegar and had no success. I often have to induce a purge to rid myself of what the brew was able to dig up, which isn't much.

And about the "OVERALL healing", I was just wondering which of these options would go deeperinto my psyche and allow me to accept whatever monstrosities lie there. you know?

Iboga still interests me. If a sitter can talk the participant through difficult parts, I'd feel more comfortable trying it. If no one has any suggestions with Iboga I'd say this post is resolved.

Thanks for the input

Can you share the details about the brewing ? How much water, how many cycles, reduced to how much ?

Can you explain how you brewed your ayahuasca? Are the two from reputable suppliers?

It is not so likely that 1 ayauhasca session is going to do it. It may but often ayahausca is something that is used for a period of time say weekly or monthly. It is over mayh sessions with integration of the lessons and insights inbetween each session that the real work takes place I find.

50g of most caapi is often to low and 25g of mimosa is just way way way way way too much! Noone should need 25! more like 2-5g..try 100g of caapi is 50g is not doing much and a much lighter dose of mimosa.

You might want to check out the eboka forums for more info on iboga.

The multiple vendors I've used are well known. I even posted here about ayahuasca not working last year. I ate a piece of buttered bread and the trip intensified threefold but no visuals, just CEVs and a fearful, insane, unclear trip. Only lasted two hours since I drank tap water to sober up.

Hmmm well in the past I've done 3 - 3 hour boil down brews with hammer pounded material. The recent mimosa I used was PRE-shredded so I can imagine it being weaker. I just have to say that my I'm not a visuals guy. And at least 1/2 of the brews I did were made following a thorough brew guide from here and erowid. My caapi could be bad too.

I seriously don't think I should do anything on my own any more like I always have. Even marijuana and a recent 3/6 salvia trip.

I'll do that, thanks.

I tried Ayahuasca once so I am not an expert on it but it gave me some beautiful insight but no long term significant help. It was only after trying Iboga (powder and TA) that everything changed after one time. I have a similar story to you as I have had depersonalization disorder for years as well as depression, social anxiety and the list goes on. I truly feel like Iboga rewires your brain and recent studies I've been researching shows that it actually does by increasing the plasticity in your brain and increasing GDNF cells so that different sections of your brain can connect in new ways. I tried the 10 day vipassana meditation as well and it actually helped me to some effect but this is what really cleared my mind. It's been 4 months about and I have not had one depressed day or one time where I felt unattached from my body.

I can't attribute this solely to the Iboga as the place I went in Costa Rica was a traditional Bwiti ceremony as well as doing a spiritual shower (a seperate non-iboga ceremony) which in itself helped me relax completely before taking Iboga (which was something much needed). Unfortunately the price is an issue to some people and although I have no complaints and their services have saved my life and a few others with depression I met while over there, it is more expensive than some other centers. If you can save up or afford it I would say go, or go to another center after thorough research that you think knows what they are doing. I personally wouldn't recommend taking it on your own.

I actually got more out of my one peyote journey than with ayahuasca but again I think a large part of that is set and setting...I was wish someone very enlightened when I did peyote so everything is magnified. Same with Iboga. If you really want it, you will find your answer. Best wishes.

Regarding Ayahuasca and Ibogaine, i think you can only TRY. But to be honest i don't think you really have given Ayahuasca a decent try. Firstly you need a strong Aya, and you also need to do it a few times because it will take more than 1 or 2 weak drinks to fix things like you have described. Then again, remember that all this good work needs to get backed up with action, because actions affect our emotions. Aya, or Ibogaine is only part of the medicine, the rest is You, and what you do for the good of you, ie learning how to live in a way that is right for you, and that suits you, etc.

EXAMPLE: Find out what you are good at, and do more of it. Chances are that what you are good at you also will find more enjoyable than something you're not good at, unless you like a challenge. Work on living a life that is true to your needs as an individual.

Have you thought about making some lifestlye changes??..If you can afford it then why not go travelling in the world for a year??, that's a great tool for learning more about yourself and the world you live in as well as opening yourself up to bigger possibilities and developing communications skills.

Regards, Chris.

Both are powerful healing agents worthy of consideration, and depending on the particular case in question, one may be better than the other, as being different plants they have different facets. In terms of the long term nature of healing, based on my personal experience, I would consider iboga to provide longer term healing. I think ayahuasca is something one needs to integrate into their life more and work with on a regular basis to gain most benefit from, while iboga certainly shouldn't be approached in this way, at least in flood doses, although one can use micro doses. Using ayahuasca this way is fine if you have the time. Personally I have no qualms about handing over a weekend to iboga once in a blue moon...dose on Friday eve, back on form by Sunday lunchtime, flying high by Monday onwards.. Also I would be wary how one interprets the 'iboga's dark side' thread - my feelings are that Mr polytrip ingested too large a dose of iboga too soon after a flood dose which caused such an unpleasant reaction, this is known to be dangerous and a three month gap is recommended after a flood dose before taking another. Iboga has a few rules that one must play by, but if they do I don't think it is dangerous.

Time and Time again I see people trying to use "50 grams" of caapi.. I find myself wondering who came up with this standard...because who ever it was must have had some really strong stuff....I have never ever gotten any worth while effects from less than 100grams of vine......infact I usually have to use 150-200 grams...(that is if i'm using caapi alone)....This is why I usually use a combination of harmaline and caapi because it tends to make the caapi go way further..

I have also found that an extremely small amount of sun dried amanita magnifies the effects of caapi by a factor of atleast ten so sometimes I use that...But let me emphasize only a very small amount and sun dried amanita only.

^Personal matabolization comes into play just as much as plant alkaloid variability does.

Some people claim on 20g being strong, whereas I usually brew up 100g as standard. Just depends on the material and your central nervous system. always test new batches accordingly.

Combing caapi with rue can make the healing much deeper, longer lasting and transformative. the most powerful aya experience i have had to date was a mixture of the two and chaliponga. I suppose using like 100g of the very strong caapi I have (MAOI inhibition at 30g) would have a similar effect as this.

Bare in mind this took at least ten times to get to the really beneficial healing stage. You need to really work with it to get the most out of it.

Harmala-heavy brews are more beneficial for healing, IME. Otherwise its just too haywire to learn from. Also, they say the vine is the medicine. For good reason...

You shouldnt be able to move it you use enough harmalas, for a good few hours at least. Last time it was like 16 hours. The synergy was incredible between the three plants.

The relaxing afterglow stays for weeks after, if you have enough harmalas.

It also altered my thinking (as people have discussed Iboga doing), and set me free from negative thought loops that were helping no one. They were also the root of my anxiety issues.

The healing was incredible.

I doubt a psychologist could have done a better job.

This thread has also revitalised my curiousity about iboga though

Though the duration takes a serious leap of faith...Aya is very kind in that respect.

Do you drink the caapi sediment after reducing? If not, try that.

This neuroplasticity phenomena occurs much the same way with ayahuasca too, no? It's probably a big factor with most psychedelics

This last week i have done quite a lot of reading about Iboga and peoples experiences. I have also done a week in Peru in an Ayahuasca retreat. Ayahusaca certainly can be very healing, but like any form of healing it may take a few goes to get an understanding of everything, set, setting, dose right.

Reading about Iboga does seem to convince me that it may be even better than Ayahuasca for fixing problems quicker. It is indicated in helping people get off hard Opiates without withdrawal symptoms, which Aya isn't. I don't wanna start a war here, because Ayahuasca is a beautiful caring medicine, and it is without doubt at the top of amazing things to do in ones life.Iboga it seems doesn't care about being nice and caring, it just wants you to see the truth without the need for the niceties.

> I would say forget about flying to Iquitos, when you can easily brew your own, unless you would like a travel experience thrown in. Try and see if it resonates for you, otherwise Iboga is always an option.

^ not arguing with you christian..but at large doses for me anyway ayahasca has been anything but nice.. When you get into the larger fully visionary doses of vine it becomes something else. It has been the roughest thing I have ever worked with. Harmalas at those doses have been shown in rat tests to work on addiction in a similar way to ibogaine as well, maybe not as strongly though of course.

When ayahuasca is taken like that there is lots of vomiting and shitting often, and you are so nauseated you cant move. It goes on for hours and the visions are very different from just DMT..they are more like in your face dreams but that are really happening to you in a lucid state and for me I get bad bad spins at this point as well and so when laying there in the visions I cant tell what is up or down often. These visions can be of your ancestors, past lives etc..things like that.

Differet thing altogether when you "flood" with the vine in a simlar way to how people flood with iboga.