To those who have gone before,

Your unending deadication, pursuit of suchness, fearless (and humbly fearful) explorations of the unknown, compassion, wisdom, knowledge and drive to seek the source of sources in spiritually scientific and scientifically spiritual ways that transcend their own duality has warmed my heart and bestowed me the gift of inspiration cosynchronized with a sense of community. Excuse me, have we met? Am I already home? This place feels so familiar. The flow of idea here is a synestesia where I cannot tell where the nexus ends and I begin, only that somewhere between the nexus and myself is a [hyper]spatial field of communal mind-stuff irresistibly beckoning me to swim in it's waters.

Nexians, those have gone before me, my ancestors- your love continues to propagate like a seed in the hearts of true seekers and it is in the heart of this seeker which your fruit has found it's newest root-hold. Strong, grounded and of the earth, these roots sustain and feed a process of growth, guiding the heart-flower up out of the earth to bask in the light, budding, blossoming in to a "leaf of all colors, playing a golden stringed fiddle to a double-e waterfall over my back.' Heavenly, creative and of the spirit, this kaleidaflower reaches through dimensions, across miniscule non-distances and fearlessly exposes itself to the chaos reality outside it's protected earthen root-shelter, returning endless gifts of heavenly light-soma.

It is to you whom I pay my respects and offer my humblest appreciation, love and compassion. Your work and love has unquestionably raised the earth-human frequency- the gods smile upon you.

To those who shall come after me,

I find myself in a peculiar situation, situated right between my ancestors and procestors. Those before me have tread a nearly invisible., rugged path on which my feet now stand. Taking the naturally esoteric and providing a map, they have helped lead me here, standing in a field of newly exoteric wisdom. Many of you will find yourself back on this particular trail and many of you will find yourselves here for the very first time. It is obvious to me, in my unique position as the [nexus] between all past and present, here and there and these and those, that this trail must be given great care at all times.

For those that have gone before, I shall treat every step with respect and mindfulness. Thank you- Eternal Gratitude.

For those that come after, I shall clear the remaining brush, build the remaining bridges and light the unlit lamps in the dark places.

As my first act as a member of the tribe I shall plant my first seed.

I Love You

Welcome to the Nexus!

We missed you

So tell us about your adventures... What plant allies or extractions have you been experimenting with lately?

Be well!

What would be the answer to the answer man? Funny situation, for I find myself leaping off a precipice- behind me the mirage-oasis of information-knowledge, in front of me endless meadows of wisdom- nama-rupa is dissolving, moving perception to the realm of anatman.

Currently, I am breaking through the cocoon shell. Behind me, a youthfully ambitious caterpillar, working with thought-energy and information-knowledge of the Industrial-Scientific-Greco-Philosoph flavor. Spiritual in the sense that I had read the books, thought the thoughts and posed the poses. Much naivete, karma and childhood imprinting left me wandering through a labyrinth with only a fading awareness of the light which first set me on the path. Spiritual wonder -> fascination with psychedelics -> lack of availability -> harder drugs -> resurrection -> spiritual wonder is an analogy to the cycles of my caterpillar.

Aside from being lost in cocaine and amphetamines on and off for some years, I have a large array of drug experiences including cannabis, mushrooms, lsd, ecstasy/mdma/mda, dxm, dom plus anything I could get my hands on that altered my perception (lest we forget coffee, tobacco).

Towards the end of this phase I ended up with a shipment of: caapi vine, chacruna, morning glory seeds, san pedro, kanna, kava, kratom, passion flower, wild dagga, blue lotus, indian warrior and salvia. Just the presence of these plants in my life, disregarding ingestion brought about so much change so quickly that a few experiments were overshadowed by karmic manifestation and The Other slipped through my fingers as I rode the waves of caterpillar-karma.

*Staying up all night in desperation with a bag of straight salvia leaf gave me a night I will never remember- though the next morning I woke up, over night, completely freed of cocaine addiction*

After some sort of conscious awareness to shamanistically explore the darkness within, fueled by a year of frequent lsd use and under the influence of a low dose of mushrooms, in isolation, I awoke blinded by the dark night of the soul. Complete psychotic break. Chaos, confusion, reality dissolution/disassociation, insomnia, depression, mania, waking dreams and sleeping vacAtions bled into each other and my ego held on for dear life.

And then I let go, a purge, catharsis- a karmic purging so deep nightmares, ptsd symptoms and the generally self-deprecating attitude of a lost rebellious teenager was suddenly purged. The sensation of being alone and isolated in this world, the despair and hopelessness over our lot as humans, and the guilt and hatred I had held from my childhood trauma was purged so hard I haven't looked back.

This is where I entered my cocoon. The old ways, the old me, was over. The only way I could be reborn was to undergo a meta-morph-osis, a process I mostly see in hindsight, for during this transition I wondered why I had no problems indulging cannabis, drinking and watching tv, spending little time in nature (despite winter) and playing video games. The furious self education, the reading, the frolicking, the pursuit... My passion and ambition was simply suspended. The part that worried me was that I didn't care.

Does a caterpillar feel its time in the cocoon is a waste, and better spent being productive? Who cares, because it enters the cocoon regardless- leaving a liberated, winged creature of higher dimensions. Not unlike our friend sinicuichi, a suspended state of karmic fermentation provides the pre-conditions for rebirth as a new enity.

So here I stand, on he top of my cracked cocoon, feeling out my new wings. The caterpillar who used drugs to expand his philosophy left the mystical to live life as the masses and now stands as a butterfly seeking entheogens to expand his awareness.

My current allies are cannabis and guitar. Tobacco and coffee linger not as allies but as some sort filler, the final remnants of someone who's identity I can no longer remember.

Some Butterfly I Met will be wandering the fields and meadows, communing with the spirits and exploring the flora. I was told he's headed for a meadow ahead and it appears the local inhabitants are none other than: caapi leaf, white caapi vine, yellow caapi vine, calea zacatechichi, mullein, passionflower, blue lotus, damiana, mimosa hostillis, chammomile and peppermint.

The short answer? I heard the butterfly plans thorough analysis and experimentation with this terrain, with the wholehearted intent to bring the knowledge back to his ancestors. By next week he should have some more visceral answers.