Last night, after a long hard day of work, I had an awesome dinner, and sat down with some spice.

I took a couple deep tokes. Then, I remember holding the second one, and looking at the pipe wondering if it would make pretty crystal patterns when it cooled down.

Next thing I know, I am saying out loud, "Okay," in that specific tone of voice you use when speaking to another person, and agreeing to something about which you have reservations. Immediately after, I said, "wait, why am I saying 'okay'"? I also had a sense of knowing that I was going to say, wait, why was I saying that, ahead of time; almost in the third person, like, she's going to wonder what she was saying just now.

I have had that same sensation before on those occasions when I have fallen asleep while talking to someone, and continued a different conversation with someone else in my dreams, resulting in a complete non-sequitor coming out of my mouth. It's a fleeting sense that you know what you mean now, but in a couple seconds you won't. All very science fiction-y.

Anyway, I looked down, and I was still holding the pipe in that exact same position. Apart from the fact that it was my last bit of spice, and I apparently missed the fun, I am concerned about something else. This has happened a few other times.

I remember seeing an episode of Nova, I believe it was, where they showed an experiment with mice running mazes. The premise was that they had found a substance which prevents the formation of memory, (can't remember if it was long or short term memory, ironically enough) so that the mouse would not learn or recall the maze. Actually, I think it inhibited the chemical which is necessary for the formation of memory.

I found this in Wikipedia, and I'm wondering if it's possible that the spice may sometimes have an effect similar to the lab mouse in me; and if it is possible through diet or supplements to prevent it.

"Long-term memory, unlike short-term memory, is dependent upon the construction of new proteins. This occurs within the cellular body, and concerns in particular transmitters, receptors, and new synapse pathways that reinforce the communicative strength between neurons. The production of new proteins devoted to synapse reinforcement is triggered after the release of certain signaling substances (such as calcium within hippocampal neurons) in the cell. In the case of hippocampal cells, this release is dependent upon the expulsion of magnesium (a binding molecule) that is expelled after significant and repetitive synaptic signaling. The temporary expulsion of magnesium frees NMDA receptors to release calcium in the cell, a signal that leads to gene transcription and the construction of reinforcing proteins."

Okay, this is what I'm talking about! Tonight, after another good dinner, I sat down with some spice. (I got more.)

I took a couple tokes. I remember that it started getting really freaky.

The next thing I know, I am on my knees in front of my settee (which formerly I had been sitting on), facedown in the upholstery, singing, "I Woke Up In Love This Morning."

Yes, David Cassidy saved me from a bad trip. ... but what the hell happened?

I have had blackout events on reeeealy large doses, oral and vaporized. As an experiment, you should record your behavior.

The narrative here is beginning to sound like something from the Arabian Nights...
Last night, I tried again. Same deal, long day, good meal. This time, I remember that I was there in hyperspace, and I remember specifically asking if I could please "remember this one." I gave a reason; something to the effect of, so I'd know I wasn't crazy or so I'd know what was going on and also because, you know, no fair. I remember I asked it "as a boon."

So, it seems it was granted in the most minimal kind of way. I remember asking, if not the trip itself.

But, given what happened the 1st night, where I said "okay" as if in reluctant agreement, and my experience last night -- what the hell could be going on? Why would I apparently decide or agree that it was best I don't consciously remember what happens there? Anybody have a guess?

I believe that memory issues with DMT stem primarily from poor cooperation between the brain hemispheres. Perhaps try some meditation or other right brained activity to improve your chances of remembering.

..some people recall dreams more easily than others..a number of factors may be involved..
an aspect of entheogenic training is to attempt to recall such 'state-specific memories'..to describe the non-ordinary..
perhaps you could try gradually building upwards from smaller doses to practice maintaining awareness at wherever the 'black-out' threshold for you is..
..i think with DMT and similar states the trick to recall is to 'not be astonished' (dissolution of ordinary ego) but to still maintain a form of awareness/concentration (the 'witness'
remember, many on spiritual paths train for years at this kind of mental control..
.

I have had a similar thing happen to me. I can't say this from any experience because I've only just recently begun exploring DMT but after a lot of thought I considered it a block.

Maybe my mind is doing it because of some imbalance or maybe the DMT is doing it but for some reason the experienced just got blocked.

For me I'm trying to assume that it's for a good reason and so I'm taking more time integrating older experiences I've had to see if It will change.

Whatever it is hope you figure it out

Hmmm... happened again last night. It's interesting that Global recommends right-brain activity -- as it happens, I'm left-handed, and a painter/ writer. One would think that would typically reinforce a strong right brain. And in fact, my memory is usually pretty acute. Just today I saw a car with a license plate a few characters away from the plate on the car my parents had during my childhood. In other words, I still remember that license #. (many years hence.) This is really a drag on those rare occasions when I get drunk, because I remember EVERYTHING I said and did.

Last night, I remember vaguely trying to commit everything to memory as I sped through the tunnel or whatever on my way back. Alas.

Well TimePantry, the more I think about it, it should seem that the process of consolidating the DMT experience to memory, might be dominantly lateralized to the left hemisphere which tries to use verbal labels and (false) narratives in order to create a sort of "faux memory". Perhaps what I should have said was to practice some hemispheric coordination exercises rather than working one or the other, for it is the point of balance between the two that will create the most effective recall, and is also the point of seeking of many esoteric practices.

Try adding a good dose of harmalas, that seems to make it much slower and easier to process IMO.

I have been experimenting with smoking 2-4 bowls of damiana and that really seems to ground me also, I have no idea why.