It's been a long time since I was here last... How is everyone?

For those who are interested, I have distilled my DMT ego death material onto a PDF for easy distribution. My site was having some formatting issues, so putting it on a PDF puts all of that to rest. Above and beyond that, I have done some SERIOUS chopping.

This will be the first of 3 PDFs that I post in the next couple weeks. The next one will be strictly on shamanism and the third will be on the Eschaton. After that I plan on putting a couple more up (who knows when): a "how to" DMT trip guide and a thorough investigation of the Entities.

For anyone who would like a snippet, here you are:

"As my experience began to unfold, I realized that I and everything associated with me, myself, was about to end. In coming to this realization, I felt a distinct fear of dying (this fear expressed itself through macabre visions/thoughts), but my fear soon gave way (along with the demonic visions) as I eventually came to complete acceptance of death (which was seemingly inevitable, although I could see how some people would resist this flow of events and have a bad experience as a result. It was, admittedly, overwhelmingly intense; a center in my head - and this is only a vague metaphor - built up pressure somewhat alarmingly as all of this was going on, but it was thankfully released when I finally "let go." After I came to accept death, I was sucked through what can only be described as a "worm-hole" of sorts; time ended and space became dimensionless(I witnessed and was dissolved in the fractal nature of the Universe and my mind opened like a fountain). An apocalypse of my entire life up until that point played out in my mind as I underwent absolute dissolution..."

The link is in my sig.

Just click "enter."

Let me know what you guys think; take it easy.

I did post this in Experiences, but figured that this might be the better place for it. Mods do what thou wilt.

Much more readable now. Looking forward for the upcoming PDFs!

I have a lot of material to PDF.

I am most looking forward to the "how to" DMT trip guide and the Entities paper.

A taste of the entities paper content:

From Carl Jung's Red Book:

What serviceable forms rise from your body, you thieving
abyss! These appear as elemental spirits, dressed in wrinkled
garb, Cabiri, with delightful misshapen forms, young and yet old,
dwarfish, shriveled, unspectacular bearers of secret arts, possessors
of ridiculous wisdom, first formations of the unformed gold,
worms that crawl from the liberated egg of the Gods, incipient
ones, unborn, still invisible. What should your appearance be to
us? What new arts do you bear up from the inaccessible treasure
chamber, the sun yoke from the egg of the Gods. You still have
roots in the soil like plants and you are animal faces of the
human body; you are foolishly sweet, uncanny, primordial, and
earthly. We cannot grasp your essence, you gnomes, you objectsouls.
You have your origin in the lowest. Do you want to become
giants, you Tom Thumbs? Do you belong to the followers of the
son of the earth? Are you the earthly feet of the Godhead? What
do you want? Speak!"

The Cabiri: "We come to greet you as the master of the
lower nature."

I: ''Are you speaking to me? Am I your master?"

The Cabiri: "You were not, but you are now."

I: "So you declare. And so be it. Yet what should I do with
your following?"

The Cabiri: "We carry what is not to be carried from below
to above. We are the juices that rise secretly, not by force, but
sucked out of inertia and affixed to what is growing. We know
the unknown ways and the inexplicable laws of living matter. We
carry up what slumbers in the earthly; what is dead and yet enters
into the living. We do this slowly and easily; what you do in vain
in your human way. We complete what is impossible for you."

I: "What should I leave to you? Which troubles can I transfer
to you? What should I not do, and what do you do better?"

The Cabiri: "You forget the lethargy of matter. You want to
pull up with your own force what can only rise slowly; ingesting
itself affixed to itself from within. Spare yourself the trouble, or
you will disturb our work."


Carl Jung conversed with the Entities without the need for DMT; his brain took care of that for him.

He was that special.

A bump for some updates on the PDF (especially if others haven't seen it) and a kick in the ass to myself to finish the other PDFs.

I hope all is well with everyone.

I love the new changes round' here.

I havent read all yet but love it so far. and the top quote is amazing Thanks for sharing it

I haven't had a chance to look at your PDF yet, but it seems like it would be worthwhile to do so.

I also haven't dosed very highly on DMT yet, in part because at the highest doses I've managed to take, this "pressure" that you mention was so intense it has sort of scared me away from going further. Is the pressure there everytime you breakthrough, or is it something that disappears once you get more accustomed to the experience? I hope I'm not derailing your post, but I felt compelled to comment when I read that.

Thank you very much; let me know what you think when you have digested all of it.

Not derailing at all, my friend. The build up in pressure, in my experience, is there every time I break through on high doses. Bear in mind, breaking through on a high dose and breaking through on a comparatively lower dose are two completely different beasts: Breaking through on a low dose results in entity contact with closed eyes. Breaking through on a high dose is complete and utter dissolution of ego and boundaries; the experience is so intense and Earth-shattering that it can barely be delineated after coming out of it. However, with time and repetition, you can pull away "data" from the experience, such as I was able. Due reflection is necessary after each and every trip.

As far as the nature of the pressure: I believe that it is the DMT being metabolized rapidly inside the brain; Dennis Mckenna referred to this as the accelerated vibration of Electron Spin Resonance (a swirling, droning sound often builds up in conjunction with this pressure until it literally consumes your consciousness; it is a symphony of death). It seems to act as a mechanism for convincing consciousness that it is in the act of dying; truly, the experience can be so frightening that the logical conclusion that you come to is that you have just killed yourself. Despite repeated high doses, every single time I get the feeling that, "This is it. I just killed myself from smoking DMT." For me, there is no way to prepare or even get used to this phenomena. It is that powerful. I believe that it is a necessary part of the trip and mind you; it only lasts about 15-30 seconds; a very brief window. If you can let go and make peace with the act of ego death, you experience the ineffable; if you can't let go and choose to deny the death of your ego, then you will most certainly have a "bad trip."

My advice to anyone trying to "beat" this difficulty is to prepare for your trip by having a mantra to remember, such as, "Love will see me through" or something similar. By giving yourself into the arms of love, the experience tends to take on a mystical tone. Every single one of my high dose sessions left me utterly shattered as an ego, but I came to remember that during the height of the experience, there is an ecstasy of love that can only be experienced to be appreciated. Truly, Oneness with the Universe.

That being said, I have also experienced acute-psychotic breaks* during sessions and if you cannot objectify your experience properly, you will slide down a very slippery slope of sanity.

*Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that you "go nuts," but you experience an outpouring of unconscious contents that renders your ego irrelevant; this can lead to a very confusing few minutes until you come back down.

Read as much relative literature as you can to provide yourself with the widest frame of reference possible; this is how I was able to make peace with ego death. By widening my frame of reference, I was able to integrate what was happening during and after the trip. Without this, I surely would have lost myself to schizophrenic ideations.

I hope this helps you and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask.

Thank you for reading.

Thank you for such a thoughtful and helpful response, Eschaton! I will keep your words in mind as I work on building the courage to swim a little further out from shore. I'll just have to accept that my head is not really going to explode and that it is all just a part of the process I'm crossing my fingers that I will be able to think rationally and tell myself, "hey no problem, I'm dead or dying, may as well get used to it" when I reach that point.

I've begun reading your essay: it is intriguingly and very well written. I look forward to finishing it, much brain food in there!

Beautiful work. Great aspiration toward synchronicity, and quite victorious at that. I've had what you described in dreams, one which I remember that I cam back and did remember what my life was, but couldn't wake up with it. I decided there was no sense living life in the way I previously did and went to form a bond with an elephant (and group of people who had done such). With spice my beyond self graced me with this wisdom of timeless synchronicity, which was my momentary intention to access that night of November 8th or 9th 2003 (lunar eclipse) when I was 17. It totally explains prophetic dreams in a vague grasping for belief sort of way.
The speed of information as you put it, to me I see that as yoshis/shadow stuff/self dribbling basketballs - universal allies. 5-meo reveals them for me in a certain way, but to me it/they is/are our thoughts, and our dreams. Of course there is the notion that we are personifying these bits of data by tinging them with information from our minds, but something timeless like this must come from some seriously deep recesses like DNA electron spin resonance or something in tune with something serious. So its not just me huh?
We're about the same age. I experienced the triguna in turqoise red and white, sacred in Tibet. I consider the meaning to be "supernal".

I had experienced the dying and acceptance at age 16 and that was long behind me. Same year I left my body in a beam of light and first met the yoshis inside the light beam (after circling it) and they confirmed very "heart warming" affirmations of what death was like before I had even asked (no ego TO ask). I also had a direct no questions asked oceanic ego loss experience which illuminated itself as such when I put a word to my perspective, "trees" which required my ego - essentially bringing me down. Then just after I used more spice and broke into the same exact elf warehouse scene as I had once before, but this time in yellow, not green.

But 3 hours? Guess the MAO-Is really worked for you Did you also find that you could help others to describe their own experiences too somehow?

I bet if you get just the right trip you can go inside of yourself and sit down and spiceapult your self to an even deeper universe. I say we go there, and start an ego lost and found center for people, as if we aren't egotistical enough walking around having experienced this from just one dose away. If we can get an astral etheric dose in during a real material dose... then we can find the unicorn funny, I was an atheist too, but maybe I shouldn't say 'was' - I've thought about that a lot. If that belief worked for me than why change it? Only to be malleable, but now that I am - well I'm pretty much indifferent. I like the notion of god as in the book "Sirens of Titan" where a guy is stretched between this galaxy and beatleguice (sp?) with his dog. Then when they start sort of a church of synchronicity, this guy, who knows the future (that which has always been will be and that which will be has always been) says to think of god not as him, but more like his dog, not like his dog but more like his flea, not like his flea but like a germ on the flea. Essentially Vonnegut layed a foundation to be able to say, without ruining the (audio) book - that the whole idea that god has any relation to whats happening to you personally is completely absurd.

In the bible someone asked gods name, and he said "I am who I am" or "I will be who I will be". I always liked the idea Alan Watts had about mercury melting back with the rest of the element pool - I suppose there is a subtle force that may very well be free of whatever resistance life had to hold all of ones awareness in one place. I think its important to visualize the world we want to be eternally present in, not that I'm meditating recently, but I'll get back into the zone soon enough


You know, it was a good experience, and all and, then you what do you do? It's like starting over almost in order to live as an esoteric person in an exoteric world. Some natives get stripped of all of their memories for a week that they are kept on Datura during a coming of age thing come 13 years old. Hey we lucked out we get to make the best of what we remember of our child hoods (like that was worth remembering anyway).

No problem man, thank you for reading!

So strange that you included that last bit; my moniker over at the shroomery is BrainFood.



Happy travels my friend.

Let me know what you think when you finish reading.

Thank you for your thoughtful post Enki.

You mentioned several things that I have studied in depth, especially:

The tautology, "I am that I am" that Abraham spoke to Moses is no small hint. He was letting Moses know that he is All-pervading reality. He is the All and the All is His Self. Akin to that art thou of the Hindu religions.

God is in everything; God is just a metaphor for all-encompassing Reality.

"I am that I am"

"Thou art that"

These tautological statements ultimately lead us to the Golden Rule, which has permeated nearly every major religion.. "Do unto others..." Karma, etc.

Once we realize that we are part and parcel of the Whole, we effectively understand that we must change our actions away from being selfish into collective; this is our love for the world.

This is also, however, the "greatest weight" that Nietzsche spoke of.

Because each moment is a choice.


Again, thank you for your very thoughtful post.

Eschaton,

Thank you for your efforts. I commend you on the quality of your writing, your bold exploration, and your simultaneous modesty with respect to the interpretation of your experiences. I hope the future of entheogenic exploration lies in the direction of your careful and thoughtful approach.

I heartily encourage you to pursue your remaining essays, "how to" and "entities." I am also excited by your embrace of "I am that I am" and "Thou art That", two of my favorite aphorisms.

Thanks for your gift, brother.

eH

Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to read my material.

I hope to have the "how to" and "entities" done soon; I can't make any promises, but I am hoping by mid-April to early May. I want to make sure that they are as refined as possible before I release them for consumption.

Again, thank you for reading.

Have a great day/night.

Eschaton,

Just wondering if you mind uploading the PDF to your initial post instead of directing members through your website. I noticed IP trackers on your site (Yahoo) and some here might not be aware before they click.

Thank you!

-a1pha

PS Thank goodness anoniem is in place.

Whoa; what the hell does that mean?

I have never had anyone tell me this before...

My apologies for the bump, but I really want to know what a1pha was referring to.

From http://www.wedietorememberwhatwelivetoforget.com/


Just curious, why not simply attach the PDF to your post instead of leading people to a site which simply contains a direct download link and a tracker code? It's probably just Yahoo! counter -- But, given the nature of this site, best to err on the side of caution.

Ohhh; it's definitely just a counter.

I check the counter periodically to see how many people are actually reading the page.

I don't mean to de-rail the thread -- I'm just curious why you're dodging uploading the PDF here and instead routing users to your site with only a download link and tracker. Just to get a count?




http://info.yahoo.com/pr...y/us/yahoo/webanalytics/