Dear All,

Seeing I imagine most of you are experienced with travelling I was interested in what you thought about my hallucinatory experiences as a very young child - what Impacts they may have had and how I can deal with them.

At about age 5 I was given a pizza with handpicked mushrooms. The restaurant owners didn't realise they were magic mushrooms. I was taken to hospital and was hallucinating intensely for three days. I was in such a psychotic state I broke three sets of adult psychiatric restraints. I can still remember some of the images quite vividly. They included:

*Controlling an enormous navy with my mind

*Awake to a room full of shark headed children

*Feeling a sense of deep dread


In my late teens I took some mushrooms and had a truly terrible experience as well. It made the whole world seemed hellish and ordeal like. I believe this was the case because my mind really likes control and stability and couldn't manage the feelings and sensation.

I have a rough childhood and a degree of trauma, but aside from that I believe these early experiences may have deeply damaged my psych - particularly the massive shock as a young boy.

Do you think these experiences may have led to my current state which has an element of pervasive fear and anxiety?

What are the possible ways to heal such trauma?

Your ideas and assistance would be most appreciated.

MEG

Dear All,

Seeing I imagine most of you are experienced with 'travelling' I was interested in what you thought about my hallucinatory experiences as a very young child - what Impacts they may have had and how I can deal with them.

At about age 5 I was given a pizza with handpicked mushrooms. The restaurant owners didn't realise they were magic mushrooms. I was taken to hospital and was hallucinating intensely for three days. I was in such a psychotic state I broke three sets of adult psychiatric restraints. I can still remember some of the images quite vividly. They included:

*Controlling an enormous navy with my mind

*Awake to a room full of shark headed children

*Feeling a sense of deep dread


In my late teens I took some mushrooms and had a truly terrible experience as well. It made the whole world seem hellish and ordeal like. I believe this was the case because my mind really likes control and stability and couldn't manage the feelings and sensation.

I have a rough childhood and a degree of trauma, but aside from that I believe these early experiences may have deeply damaged my psych - particularly the massive shock as a young boy.

Do you think these experiences may have led to my current state which has an element of pervasive fear and anxiety?

What are the possible ways to heal such trauma?

Your ideas and assistance would be most appreciated.

MEG

Psychedelics are used in some cultures by children, but I must say it is unfortunate that you were initiated in such an unexpected manner. The good news is, this is behind you, and not all psychedelics will affect you in this way.

Mushrooms are actually one of the more gnarly psychedelics. I would absolutely not recommend them to a new psychedelic user or in your case. Now, people may disagree, and that's fine, that is just my opinion.

I think you would have much better luck meditating on this with a drug like MDMA.

Then using a gentle psychedelic like mescaline, found in the trichocereus bridgesii cactus.

Some may say psychedelics are not for you, but I would beg to differ, if used properly you can effectively let go of the past and find a medicine that works great for you in the present.

Be well, and welcome to the DMT-Nexus.

It is possible to heal. It may never be possible to do mushrooms again. If I were you I would not, at least not for a very long time.

Time is what heals the best. The healing power of time should not be underestimated.

How long ago did you take shrooms last? How old are you now if I may ask.

It may take a decade or more to integrate your experinces and feelings.

I definately would not look towards DMT or ayahuasca for help. In many ways I find DMT/aya similar to high dose mushroom experiences.

You need time to integrate your experiences.

Try being sober, a good diet, and exercise.

My 2 cents

I was just speaking to a family member who reported the poisoning agent was not Magic Mushroom - but rather Amaryllis or the Belladonna Lily. It was a most amazingly intense and dark trip and I very nearly died. It doesn't seem like there's much about it's psychotropic properties on the net - no doubt as it nearly killed me.

I understand now is not the right time but would a more benign plant maybe heal my mind- Ayahuasca, maybe?

The experience occurred 35 years ago.

MED

I was also poisoned by a small dose of mushrooms at around 5... eeek!

Low dose of aya maybe, but not a high one. DMT is the most intense drug you can do, basically. I stick by my recommendations in regards to choice of psychedelic therapy listed above. Do some research and see what you are called towards.

Tropane alkaloids, the ones found in Belladonna, are highly toxic and even fatal in the right dose. This would explain your 3 day trip. This is a drug that IMHO nobody should ever do. I have been down that road and there is nothing to gain from it. These alkaloids are in no way similar to psilocybe mushrooms. The active ingredient in them is psilocin which is chemically similar to DMT, these are not toxic what-so-ever. They can just be INTENSE.

35 years, ya, you've had time to integrate. Now it's time for low doses of gentle medicine.

Sounds like you are lucky to be alive. The tropane alkaloids in belladonna are nasty as hell. I've read on these forums that the difference is very small between a dose that will make you hallucinate and a dose that will kill you.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend using any drugs to heal your mind, although others here may disagree with that. I think Ice House is right, time is a great healer. For me, if I felt like I was in a bad place mentally I would avoid psychedlics altogether... I know there are people who have a different view on that so don't take my word as anything absolute. It is entirely possible that given the right setting some ayahuasca could be great for you, or it could just be another horrible experience like you had with mushrooms.