...and I'm stoned.

Run down:
Family and friends worry too much. They are drowning in debt. and/or. Can't see a bigger picture than today. I hear fear for whatever bill is due and not being able to afford it. I hear people dreading and crying about their entire academic career because of one test in one class that has nothing to do with their major. I hear just constant fretting, and horrible outlooks on life. I hear sorrow, regret, and even bitterness.

My dream:
I want them to see there is another way to live. I want them to see happiness is within their grasps. That somehow, some way, everything turns out just fine. That worrying is a pointless exercise when it would be way more productive to think critically about things instead of running with emotions. That there is always another dollar to make and another joint to roll. (if only they would partake in marijuana...) That the bitterness and sorrow only hurt them.

The brokenness of everything was very prevalent in my mind today. People are broken. The system is broken. My eyes connected with a girl's in my class; there was such a deep sadness in her eyes. Deep, life-long sadness. It chilled me to the bone; it was my sadness too. I wonder if I really sensed sadness in her or if it was my ego-reflection in her eyes. It was such a surprise shock of emotion I don't think it was the latter.

Yea, It's easy to get stuck in that loop. Our ego never rests, we are addicted to our own sadness. There is a much bigger picture, and It Isn't everyones place to see it all the time. I had to realize that not everyone wants to, It's my choice if I want to be happy, all I have to do is live in the moment. Likewise people have the right to live in past and future, the right to be sorrowful if that is there choice. Sometimes though we can take a moment of our time to share that light with others, and that can do a great deal of good, I believe that anything we do has an effect far more then just the immediate and obvious, people will carry that light with them and share it as well. I just had to learn I couldn't force anyone to be happy, all I can do is share it when I'm able to.

I keep hoping that more people will recognize all that pain for what it is, recognize happiness for what it is, and find their way through it all to where they want to be...