ive done dmt a number of times, but lately it seems as if im scared to smoke it. ive had roughly 20mgs in my pipe for almost a month now, and i keep it right beside me at nighttime. every night ive had the intention of going on a journey but it seems as if something is preventing me from taking the plunge. has anybody else experienced this, and if so, what did you do to move past it? i want to experience the beauty of dmt again, but i dont want to visit if my presence isnt expected.

Hey True

I get this a lot. To the point where I rarely vape pure crystals any more. Instead I smoke changa. I have no fear of it, and usually stick to the lower doses.

I'm not sure what it is about pure spice, but my brain says "hell no buddy, not again" every time I want to smoke some.
I used to calm myself, say a few words to the universe and prepare to smoke, but these days I am still pretty scared even after doing all that.

The only advice I can give is try changa. it's a lot less mad, and the experience can be controlled a lot easier than pure vaped spice.

You could try meditating prior to lift off, but this didn't really work for me.

Happy travels!

Peace

PW

Last time I tried to smoke I dropped some acid 20 minutes prior to smoking and when the DMT kicked in I had the most emotional experience in a long time. I felt so incredibly lonely and deserted. It helped me realize that my weed addiction made me neglect my social life and that I needed to kick the weed and get more socially active but it was a terrible experience. Never smoked it since, afraid I'll have to relive that loneliness again.

My solution to this is that next time I want to smoke, I'll be smoking with one of my best friends. Together we can support each other and help overcome our fears.

Your pipe is half starship, and half loaded shotgun pointed at your face.

It's perfectly natural to be apprehensive, without all the fallacies we cling to that tell us who and what we are and are not... we're as good as dead by everyday definition. And DMT just loves to annihilate them. Loves it.

The desire to smoke is born from the same thing from which is born the apprehension... and both are irrelevant. Once the dose in question takes hold, there's nothing to desire or fear nor is there desire or fear. There is just being.

So the question to ask yourself when facing that pipe is not which "voice" to listen to, but rather, Do you want to shut them all up and just exist for awhile?

If that's the case, then pick up that pipe and take the Red Pill. Nothing is all we've got. Git some.

Many are scared or at least anxious about it. With experience it should get slightly or even alot easier, in my experience I have learned to change anxiety into respect.

perfect response.... I use to shake like a leaf in the wind when I first started doing DMT. First 20-30 times I would have a lot of anxiety but I would still come back from these trips grateful and full of respect. Well the more I did it the more I was able to integrate that same gratitude and respect pre-flight. This has helped tremendously and I will always go into a trip with nothing but love and positivity. I've done maybe ~ 160 trips and all of them have been wonderful even the ones where I knew I was going to get more than I bargained for but still took the leap and was rewarded with the strangest, most beautiful and full of love artistry I've EVER seen!

I often find that pre-launch is the most terrifying part of the experience. You KNOW you are going to be destroyed, you KNOW there is a distinct possibility you will have to face up to your uglier sides, and yet it seems easy in that instant to forget that you will be back right where you left off, pretty much the exact same person as before. You just need to summon up the courage to take that step. It is much like skydiving in a way, except of course if a skydive goes wrong - SPLAT. If a spice trip goes wrong you may have some mental issues to deal with for a short time after, but the real risk is relatively small IMO.

Now if it feels like something is standing in your way - maybe that is because you have things to address over on this side before going back? I have had similar feelings recently, not that I am unwelcome as such, just that I don't feel like I deserve a deep immersive journey at the moment until I sort out a few more things in my life. Don't put TOO much emphasis in your life on journeying and you will intuitively know when is the right time.

Best of luck my friend, it does take a bit of courage for sure, which is part of the reason that this stuff isn't for everyone.

You'll get that "call" to do it eventually, and then you'll know the time is right. You'll just have that urge to do it, which may not pop up for a while, and when it does, you may still be scared, but you'll have the drive to push past that initial anxiety. When a trip gets tough, problems that follow afterward are largely a mark of resistance. In my experience, at the darkest, most terrifying, intense core of the experience, if you can patiently sit it out, taking note of what's going on and just let it do whatever the hell it wants, you'll often be pleasantly surprised at the resolution of the experience. Often times if I get a really dark, intense, nauseating, super fast trip, I know that if I'm patient and let the experience run its course, that all that pent up energy can completely make a 180 for some of the most blissful, light-filled experiences of all. I've had 3 godhead encounters in the past 3 weeks and each one was preceded by intense chaos. If I would have resisted the hellishly intense loops in the first place, I would have never seen the godhead, but because of my surrender and patience, once the loops seemed to start to lose their energy and intensity, the godhead would start to emerge (effectively taking everything in a very different, yet pleasingly more intense direction).

i do have somewhat of a changa mixture, it just isnt infused. right now its just spice sitting on a bed of leaf (cant quite recall the name at the moment) i do like how changa is a calmer experience, but im still unsure.



ive done dmt a number of times, and every experience i have been able to look back at it with great respect. every journey is a learning experience. the last experience i had was incredibly intense. i saw the birth of the universe. my head was filled with memories of things that had never happened(later i would find out they just hadnt happened yet) and when looking at my friend for condolence, he wasnt there. it was just me staring back at myself. i thought maybe i died. the visions i saw shook me to my core. it ripped down the veil of reality..i still get goosebumps from it.
ever since then though, somethings been holding me back. maybe im just not fully ready for what it has in store for me.
i feel perhaps i should work up my doses. maybe starting from a low changa dose before transitioning back into pure spice

Changa > Pure Spice every time IMO

I can definitely relate- I've traveled three times this year, each time with plenty of apprehension, and each time ended up quitting after the first or second toke- powerful experiences, but not breakthrough. And the impression I get is not that I am not ready, or welcome- but the opposite- that if I can overcome my anxiety and take in a full dose, the breakthrough I've always been waiting for is there for me. Now why would I be afraid of that?

Part of me fears a hard trip- I've had a few- but I think mostly it's because, although I have tripped hundreds of times, mostly that was decades in the past, when I was more comfortable with the idea of a malleable reality... And a true breakthrough would no doubt bring me right back there, opening my eyes to a whole new world, one where all of my comfort zones are irrelevant.

And of course, all of that is healthy. Time doesn't whiz by and disappear as quickly if your life and sense of personal reality change often enough to avoid falling into a deep mental routine. Comfort zones can suffocate.

My plan is to smoke a fat joint with a full dose of DMT sprinkled along the length... Tried this before, and it was lovely, but shared the joint- this time I plan to Bogart it. Comes on more slowly, affects you more gently. I plan to do this outdoors on a nice day, maybe sitting at my favorite pond. Enter candyland.

This is not the way to get the max bang for your buck, but it's waay more gentle, and still gives you a taste. Once I get past this, assuming it goes well (and why wouldn't it?) I have a second dose tucked away that I plan to vape sooner than later.

Nothing wrong with being nervous! But keep this in mind: the dread itself is usually far worse than the thing you dread. My advice is to resolve this sooner than later, before you build an immovable wall.

After several hundred journeys I waver between being wary, nervous and outright terrified of spice. I think this is normal and a sensible place to look at the molecule from.

Even at times where I have not had a difficult or distressing experience recently it can take me days from loading a pipe to actually putting the torch to it.

Spice is not always nice, in fact at times it can take you to extremely ugly, painful and distressing places. It doesn’t always show you the love, beauty and oneness that so many people harp on about. Sometimes it seems as if it is being downright malicious and abusive even.

With regards to changa being calmer, friendlier or easier to deal with, my personal experiences say that is not the case. Changa, whilst often having an easier lead-in and a slightly slower pace, is not always as easy to deal with. Changa will happily rip your head off just as easily as straight freebase will.

i also feel anxiety when about to inhale this molecule. Usually a 15-20mg dose will get me in the right space for a full blown adventure.

once you see through the illusion of your own self generating identity, there is no 'one' to fear or be scared of it, its just ego not wanting to dissolve into the unknown

breathe breathe, take the full hit and lay back =] you KNOW its not going to kill ya

Yeah changa be just as harrowing as pure spice, but I find I can control my dosage much easier, and maintain a happy flow with the universe.
Don't get me wrong, I have made changa that was way too strong and I ended up breaking through with 2 hits from a pipe - I was so not expecting it and the resulting trip was like been dropped in the ocean during a massive storm. I remember closing my eyes as a massive spinning mandala raced towards me, I woke up on the other side of the room clinging to coffee table. So I defintley had enough to make me blackout.

At the end of the day the molecule demands respect, and I think the apprehension/fear we feel is rather respectful, kinda like the Christians and their love/fear for their God. Sure he is supposed to be able to work miracles, but he can also flood your world.

I hope you manage to try some changa and see if it's as fear inducing as pure spice can sometimes be.

Peace

PW

P.s I'm a little stoned and sorta waffled a bit, but I think you get my point (if i made one )

One of my most powerful, lovely and unexpected experiences was from changa.

I don’t normally react well to low dose spice (usually gives me extreme body load and no psychedelic effect), on this occasion I simply finished off my friend’s pipe (one toke from the end of her 100mg pipe) and was blasted far out of this world and into some kind of hyperspace fusion with her. Changa can be just as ridiculously powerful and awe-inspiring as freebase.

Everything about spice is unpredictable. As I often say, it’s a dice roller. Put the flame to your pipe and get what you are given.

I agree. I've often thought of it like a hyperdimensional roulette wheel. With the lower experiences closer to the center, you've got a better shot at hitting the same mark twice. The further out you get away from the center (more powerful, deep experiences) the more spaced out your marks are and the less chance you'll hit the same one twice.

I agree it's kind of like roulette. But often I have managed to direct the experience by stating intentions inside my own head about what do I want from the experience. I think there's more to it than just experiences popping up at random.



I think this is a great feature, and also keeps the high seekers at bay. If it would be only dancing on roses it wouldn't be the same...

I agree that it is possible to lead experiences somewhat, although the result is not something that you can predict. For instance some time ago I was reading about love before blasting off and ended up having a very odd sexual experience with a green fractal, more recently I have been having very dark thoughts revolving around death and guilt and have been given just that in my journeys.

Certainly in my journeys if something is taking up a large part of my mind it will be reconstructed, broken down and then taken to the most extreme conclusions.

Agreed. My journeys seem to be highly personal and have some sort of agenda.

I totally agree with this; the mental clarity and easier pace of the trip with changa can be totally absent if the dose is high enough.

DMT requires respect and for me, this means only journeying if my mind is in a good place and all the mundane practicalities of life have been attended to.This doesnt mean theres no trepidation as I contemplate the loaded GVG or bong but it makes it easier to let the experience flow as it will.