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to fathom hell or soar angelic... what have you fathomed or soared to? Options
 
The Pupil 0101
#1 Posted : 1/6/2012 6:26:52 PM
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What hell have you fathomed?
What angelic heights have you soared to?
 

Live plants. Sustainable, ethically sourced, native American owned.
 
۩
#2 Posted : 1/6/2012 6:30:57 PM

.

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Last visit: 10-Apr-2022
A hell so hellish it couldn't be articulated by humans unless you lumped all the suffering, death, pain, and disease into a box and had it translated into language compartmentalized into a nifty infinite.

Angelic heights so deep and pure of ecstasy and wisdom, no human could ever describe. There is only "Here, hit this." and "I love you" with a shed of tears.




...See for yourself...
 
tele
#3 Posted : 1/6/2012 6:34:11 PM
Explorer


Posts: 2688
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Things that I can't describe. Like Houseman said, see for yourself
 
Global
#4 Posted : 1/6/2012 6:53:34 PM

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Moderator | Skills: Music, LSDMT, Egyptian Visions, DMT: Energetic/Holographic Phenomena, Integration, Trip Reports

Posts: 5267
Joined: 01-Jul-2010
Last visit: 13-Dec-2018
Blind Sided
The DMT Harp in God's Lobby
MOST AMAZING AYAHUASCA EXPERIENCE!!! (White Light)

The above are all examples of soaring through heavenly realms. That said, almost all of my LSDMT experiences fall within the delicate realm of the angelic almost by default.

"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein

"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead

"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb
 
polytrip
#5 Posted : 1/6/2012 7:05:28 PM
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Location: A speck of dust in endless space, like everyone else.
Good question.

Too bad it´s unanswerableLaughing
 
The Pupil 0101
#6 Posted : 1/6/2012 7:10:22 PM
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Posts: 15
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Last visit: 11-Jan-2012
Location: Canada
Global wrote:
Blind Sided
The DMT Harp in God's Lobby
MOST AMAZING AYAHUASCA EXPERIENCE!!! (White Light)

The above are all examples of soaring through heavenly realms. That said, almost all of my LSDMT experiences fall within the delicate realm of the angelic almost by default.


Cool. I'll get reading.

Edit. I read them. You soared major heights, even to the hallway of heaven as you say. Any chance I could get the first ayahuasca story? Or could you sum it up in a few sentences if you haven't already posted an essay, please?
 
The Pupil 0101
#7 Posted : 1/6/2012 7:53:43 PM
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Location: Canada
polytrip wrote:
Good question.

Too bad it´s unanswerableLaughing

Aww you didn't even try. Confused It doesn't have to be long
 
۩
#8 Posted : 1/6/2012 7:55:42 PM

.

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Posts: 6739
Joined: 13-Apr-2009
Last visit: 10-Apr-2022
It has a paradoxical nature that goes beyond our human language and capacity to understand.
 
AllIsDistraction
#9 Posted : 1/6/2012 10:32:40 PM

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I realize and agree with the other posters that the ultimate depths and ultimate heights are in the end indescribable. But I still would like to see where this thread can go so I'll pitch in my two cents.

On a (stupidly) large dose of extracted Salvia I witnessed unparalleled terror in the form of losing my grasp on life and myself. I believed I had died, permanently. I was dangled over a sea of pure blackness just gazing at the abyss until I was sucked back into my body. In a word: Terrifying.

As far as an angelic experience... there was a time during an LSD trip where I fully believed I was traveling through space. Soaring past stars and suns, planets and even black holes. I could fashion the black empty space into shapes, like molding Play-Doh. It was euphoria in every sense and lasted for probably a good hour or so. I have never felt anything like it since.

And now that I think about it I really view both of those events as wonderful things, they both did a lot for me. But at the time the Salvia abyss seemed like a living Hell.
Learning to know that I do not know.
 
Global
#10 Posted : 1/7/2012 12:03:03 AM

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Moderator | Skills: Music, LSDMT, Egyptian Visions, DMT: Energetic/Holographic Phenomena, Integration, Trip Reports

Posts: 5267
Joined: 01-Jul-2010
Last visit: 13-Dec-2018
The Pupil 0101 wrote:
Global wrote:
Blind Sided
The DMT Harp in God's Lobby
MOST AMAZING AYAHUASCA EXPERIENCE!!! (White Light)

The above are all examples of soaring through heavenly realms. That said, almost all of my LSDMT experiences fall within the delicate realm of the angelic almost by default.


Cool. I'll get reading.

Edit. I read them. You soared major heights, even to the hallway of heaven as you say. Any chance I could get the first ayahuasca story? Or could you sum it up in a few sentences if you haven't already posted an essay, please?


I had to dig this up. It was one of my first trip reports and early experiences with DMT of any kind, so it's a bit poorly written, and I was a bit misguided at the time. I would never do a lot of the things I mentioned now on an ayahuasca trip, but I was still learning. It's a bit long, but here it is.

Global wrote:

Prior to ingesting my brew, to try and reduce the nausea, at around 8 pm, I ate a bowl of rice. I had also bought mixed mint leaves which I read if you shove it up your nose, it makes the taste of the Mimosa much more bearable as well as reducing the nausea. I also used it to chew on to try and get the taste out of my mouth in between sips. In retrospect I probably took too many precautions to reduce the nausea which would come back to bite me in the ass later. I took the Mimosa mix out of the freezer to let it thaw into three layers. I scraped the top grayish layer off with paper towel, and poured the red liquid into two cups, disposing of the dark crap on the bottom. I took a spoonful of sugar and mixed it into one of the cups. At around 11:30 or so, I easily swallowed the 11 capsules filled with the Syrian Rue I had measured out, and my brother and I went back out on the porch to smoke a bowl.

The time was 12:20, I was downstairs in my brother's room (AKA the basement), and I had inserted the mint leaves up my nostrils. I was very nervous, feeling absolutely no effects from the rue at all, as I had on a previously unsuccessful occasion, yet counterintuitively even more nervous because I was relatively confident this might actually work! With the mint in my nose I was able to taste very little Ayahuasca at all. It tasted pretty neutral, and I would highly recommend this method, especially in terms of improving the taste, as it is supposed to lower the nausea as well. I sat patiently, careful not to get up before I either had to absolutely make it to the bathroom to puke, or at least until I was able to perceive some effects.

As I sat, nervously and anxiously anticipating the future, leaving the mint up my nose, I watched TV with my brother. We were able to find nothing on the television with the exception of Futurama. It was the episode where Leela becomes the first female blernsball player. The third line that we heard when we put the show on was Fry saying, "Aww, don't cry foreign people. I used to work in a pizzeria and as soon as I stop hallucinating and blasting puke, I'm gonna teach you to sell pizza - Earth style!" Both my brother and I were in complete awe and shock at what we had just heard, and how incredulously divine and coincidental that he should say that as I sit in wait myself, waiting to puke and hallucinate! Eventually we turned the TV off.

Things were starting to look different, but at first I was quite unsure just what was different. Colors may have been starting to get a bit more vibrant, but nothing terribly noticeable. The first real perceivable change in visuals I experienced was that as I stared at my brother's royal blue carpet, the fibers in the carpet began rearranging themselves into subtle patterns, reminiscent of how they might on acid. I was beginning to feel slightly nauseous, but it didn't seem like my body was ready to puke, just an uncomfortable queasiness. I made my way upstairs, and was just looking around to try and see how things might be different. I decided that playing guitar might be a good idea so I went up to my room, sat down at my computer chair with my unplugged electric guitar, and began jamming away. It was pretty fun for a few minutes, and I remember liking the sound and the groove, but I began to grow pretty weak pretty quickly to the point where it was too much of a hassle to support the guitar, and I was forced to put it back on its stand. Everything in my room looked pretty cool in some subtle trippy way. These visual distortions seemed to be more organic and smooth. Closer to shrooms than acid in that respect, yet not close to as exaggerated.

I decided that since I was growing weaker by the minute, I might as well put on my headphones and listen to some music from my computer. I remember listening to close to three songs, and while I can't remember them all, they all seemed to be greatly enhanced. The first one (and the only one I can remember listening to) was a video on youtube of Queen back from 1977 when they had a show in Houston and played "White Man" leading into a very trippy Freddie Mercury vocal improv. For those of you who want to hear possibly the trippiest thing you'll ever hear, bearing in mind no digital effects or technology were used, I highly recommend looking into this video, despite the rather outlandish costume Freddie sports. I looked away from the video as I listened to the music as a sort of mental exercise I like to play while tripping where I will close my eyes and try to visualize what the music looks like visually as I try to incite synesthesia. I went back downstairs to the basement where my brother was. At this point, standing up was starting to become difficult, as I staggered around. The nausea was growing stronger, but it still didn't seem like I was gonna be able to puke. I decided I might try and expedite the process some by forcing myself. I was able to get a little bit up, nothing really, and certainly nothing compared to the time I puked on my first failed attempt.

My brother and I decided to go smoke another bowl, hoping that the cannabis might just get rid of he nausea altogether. I was starting to grow incredibly sleepy which was frustrating because based on the visuals I was having, it was growing quite clear that sleep was truly nowhere in sight. At this point in time, the house was subtly coming to life, and everything began taking on a slight buzzing quality. Not so much a buzzing sound as I know commonly accompanies DMT trips, but rather it was like everything was crackling with energy. I was beginning to get some distinct closed-eye visuals. The colors were deep colors, predominated by reds and purples. The patterns were strikingly familiar, and seemingly sinister. They were not like patterns I had seen on shrooms, acid, or salvia. They may have born a slight resemblance to ones I had seen when I smoked DMT for the second time and closed my eyes, but those were much more highly detailed with brighter, more vivid colors, and just of a different quality altogether. These patterns reminded me of some crazy ones you'd see on a jester's clothing, and throughout the experience, it sometimes seemed like I was looking at an open mouth with a big tongue flopping out. Not like a real mouth and a real tongue, but the patterns configured as such. If I would open my eyes, the patterns would linger a bit as impressions in reality, but would eventually be dominated by the visual buzzing. I was still a bit queasy which was growing ever frustrating along with the gradual loss of control over my body. At no point in the experience did I have an out of body experience, but rather lack of control, like an infant who didn't quite have the muscle memory to use its limbs effectively. I watched a couple episodes of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" in an attempt to lighten to the mood, as well as hopefully fall asleep, as the current state was uncomfortable. Funnily enough, Danny Devito looked like an elf. Unlike the smoked DMT, this Ayahuasca offered no direct euphoria, only wonder and awe at some of the beauty of my surroundings. The closed-eye visuals also grew a bit disturbing, additionally making sleep unobtainable. I got up to drink some water, and as I would move the cup away from my mouth, I would see a trailing image of the cup going down to the table. Even the trailers would maintain the buzzing quality. After watching a couple episodes in the living room, I tried to make my way upstairs. It was too difficult to do the old fashioned way (with just your legs) as I was forced to use my fists on the stairs, walking up on all-fours. When I got to the stairs I was unable to stand up, and decided that the only way I was going to get to my room was if I were to crawl there. Talk about feeling like an infant! As I got through my door I collapsed, unable to gather the will to even shut my door to hide my sprawled out body on the floor. Eventually after several moments of rest, I got up shut the door and fell into bed. Sleepy as could be, weak as could be, nauseous and hallucinating, I laid uncomfortably in bed for a few minutes. For some reason, even though I was having the hardest time moving around, walking was all I was compelled to do. Eventually my brother went to sleep as I spent the next several hours watching Always Sunny and staggering lifelessly like a zombie around my house. I was texting some friends of mine about how the experience was going, and one of my friends who lives a couple towns away, decided to come over and smoke [cannabis]. I wanted to smoke because I know that at least in the case of smoked DMT, cannabis reduces the DMT's effects, as well as the fact that I quite simply couldn't find my bud.

By the time he got to my house, he showed up with his little brother rather loudly in his Porche at around 5:30 in the morning. It was starting to get light out, though still no sign of the sun. Outdoors looked somewhat enchanting. As we walked down the street, I was able to see the sunrise, and it was beautiful. The leaves on the trees through which the deep orange beams of light shone through took on diamond and rhombus like shapes, though not like the vivid interlocking rhomboids of light I had seen during my first smoked experience with DMT.

I got back to my house and we chatted outside for a bit. I pretty much figured the trip was over as it was now close to 7 in the morning, and I had been tripping for a good six and a half hours or so. I told them I was just gonna head to sleep, but I really just wanted to go on my back porch and epitomize on the sunrise with the mild trippiness that was left in my vision. As I sat on the chair, I began to grow increasingly nauseous. As I stared at my porch, it began bugging out, constantly shifting in size. This was making me even more nauseous. I stood up and went upstairs to bed again to try sleep one last time. I laid in bed with my eyes open, staring at the wall about half a foot away from my face. I could tell it was slightly distorted, and the nausea persisted.

What happened next at around the seventh hour of tripping, ever nauseous, as I laid still in my bed made the previous hours of hell well worth it. I began to hear a voice in my head that I initially interpreted as my own internal narrative (that voice, my voice, that psycho-verbally narrates my thoughts throughout the day), except this wasn't my voice, and it wasn't making much sense. It was a very fruity, high-pitched, male voice. I don't know why I perceived it as male, but that's just how it was interpreted. The voice seemed to be in like a weird 5 part harmony, but not with pitches that we would considered to be a part of western music. The 5 or so voices were singing homorhythmically: all their syllables were the same, but they would be on different, ever shifting pitches. They were singing about complete nonsense: utter gibberish. The words were real words, and the sentences were actually pretty close if not perfectly grammatically correct, if I can remember well, but it was like random, useless information. It was like listening to a game of mad libs where all the nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, etc... were all in the right places, but just didn't go together. I had my eyes open for most of this part of the experience, though as the harmonious voices continued to flamboyantly sing, they would create corresponding patterns in my mind's eye. As they blabbered away, the nausea intensified at an accelerating rate. It finally became clear that I would be able to puke up everything I had been storing in my stomach (including the rice from much earlier) for the past 11 hours or so. I got out of bed, went down stairs, pleasantly dry heaving as I made my way down the stairs. I got to the bathroom, and finally, such as during my first attempt, I had several gut wrenching convulsions, expelling the Ayahuasca, rice and mint leaves.

Once I initially thought it was over, before hearing the voices, I should have known better as I had read many an experience where the trip seemed to be over, only to come back full force. Between the 7th and 8th hour, I came down to baseline, watching some Always Sunny to keep me in a happy mood. By the start of the eighth hour after the start of the trip, I was completely done. I had heard that the trip could last 4-8 hours, but I hadn't expected that I would experience the upper limits of that range. I was delighted afterwards knowing that I was successful in creating for myself, something so psychedelic, though I wish the experience would have been both more visual and euphoric. If I ever try Ayahuasca again, I'll be trying the Caapi/Psychotria combination for less nausea, and a hopefully more pleasant experience.

All in all, I don't regret the decision to go through with the experience at all, despite the sometimes extreme discomfort and frustration felt throughout, as I felt it made me mentally stronger, and I felt like it emotionally healed me in some unexplainable way. In the middle of the trip I dumped the other dose I had made for myself, as I didn't feel comfortable subjecting anyone I knew to what I had just gone through, and didn't feel like doing it again any time soon.

"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein

"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead

"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb
 
The Pupil 0101
#11 Posted : 1/11/2012 9:08:55 PM
DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 15
Joined: 02-Jan-2012
Last visit: 11-Jan-2012
Location: Canada
Global wrote:
The Pupil 0101 wrote:
Global wrote:
Blind Sided
The DMT Harp in God's Lobby
MOST AMAZING AYAHUASCA EXPERIENCE!!! (White Light)

The above are all examples of soaring through heavenly realms. That said, almost all of my LSDMT experiences fall within the delicate realm of the angelic almost by default.


Cool. I'll get reading.

Edit. I read them. You soared major heights, even to the hallway of heaven as you say. Any chance I could get the first ayahuasca story? Or could you sum it up in a few sentences if you haven't already posted an essay, please?


I had to dig this up. It was one of my first trip reports and early experiences with DMT of any kind, so it's a bit poorly written, and I was a bit misguided at the time. I would never do a lot of the things I mentioned now on an ayahuasca trip, but I was still learning. It's a bit long, but here it is.

Global wrote:

Prior to ingesting my brew, to try and reduce the nausea, at around 8 pm, I ate a bowl of rice. I had also bought mixed mint leaves which I read if you shove it up your nose, it makes the taste of the Mimosa much more bearable as well as reducing the nausea. I also used it to chew on to try and get the taste out of my mouth in between sips. In retrospect I probably took too many precautions to reduce the nausea which would come back to bite me in the ass later. I took the Mimosa mix out of the freezer to let it thaw into three layers. I scraped the top grayish layer off with paper towel, and poured the red liquid into two cups, disposing of the dark crap on the bottom. I took a spoonful of sugar and mixed it into one of the cups. At around 11:30 or so, I easily swallowed the 11 capsules filled with the Syrian Rue I had measured out, and my brother and I went back out on the porch to smoke a bowl.

The time was 12:20, I was downstairs in my brother's room (AKA the basement), and I had inserted the mint leaves up my nostrils. I was very nervous, feeling absolutely no effects from the rue at all, as I had on a previously unsuccessful occasion, yet counterintuitively even more nervous because I was relatively confident this might actually work! With the mint in my nose I was able to taste very little Ayahuasca at all. It tasted pretty neutral, and I would highly recommend this method, especially in terms of improving the taste, as it is supposed to lower the nausea as well. I sat patiently, careful not to get up before I either had to absolutely make it to the bathroom to puke, or at least until I was able to perceive some effects.

As I sat, nervously and anxiously anticipating the future, leaving the mint up my nose, I watched TV with my brother. We were able to find nothing on the television with the exception of Futurama. It was the episode where Leela becomes the first female blernsball player. The third line that we heard when we put the show on was Fry saying, "Aww, don't cry foreign people. I used to work in a pizzeria and as soon as I stop hallucinating and blasting puke, I'm gonna teach you to sell pizza - Earth style!" Both my brother and I were in complete awe and shock at what we had just heard, and how incredulously divine and coincidental that he should say that as I sit in wait myself, waiting to puke and hallucinate! Eventually we turned the TV off.

Things were starting to look different, but at first I was quite unsure just what was different. Colors may have been starting to get a bit more vibrant, but nothing terribly noticeable. The first real perceivable change in visuals I experienced was that as I stared at my brother's royal blue carpet, the fibers in the carpet began rearranging themselves into subtle patterns, reminiscent of how they might on acid. I was beginning to feel slightly nauseous, but it didn't seem like my body was ready to puke, just an uncomfortable queasiness. I made my way upstairs, and was just looking around to try and see how things might be different. I decided that playing guitar might be a good idea so I went up to my room, sat down at my computer chair with my unplugged electric guitar, and began jamming away. It was pretty fun for a few minutes, and I remember liking the sound and the groove, but I began to grow pretty weak pretty quickly to the point where it was too much of a hassle to support the guitar, and I was forced to put it back on its stand. Everything in my room looked pretty cool in some subtle trippy way. These visual distortions seemed to be more organic and smooth. Closer to shrooms than acid in that respect, yet not close to as exaggerated.

I decided that since I was growing weaker by the minute, I might as well put on my headphones and listen to some music from my computer. I remember listening to close to three songs, and while I can't remember them all, they all seemed to be greatly enhanced. The first one (and the only one I can remember listening to) was a video on youtube of Queen back from 1977 when they had a show in Houston and played "White Man" leading into a very trippy Freddie Mercury vocal improv. For those of you who want to hear possibly the trippiest thing you'll ever hear, bearing in mind no digital effects or technology were used, I highly recommend looking into this video, despite the rather outlandish costume Freddie sports. I looked away from the video as I listened to the music as a sort of mental exercise I like to play while tripping where I will close my eyes and try to visualize what the music looks like visually as I try to incite synesthesia. I went back downstairs to the basement where my brother was. At this point, standing up was starting to become difficult, as I staggered around. The nausea was growing stronger, but it still didn't seem like I was gonna be able to puke. I decided I might try and expedite the process some by forcing myself. I was able to get a little bit up, nothing really, and certainly nothing compared to the time I puked on my first failed attempt.

My brother and I decided to go smoke another bowl, hoping that the cannabis might just get rid of he nausea altogether. I was starting to grow incredibly sleepy which was frustrating because based on the visuals I was having, it was growing quite clear that sleep was truly nowhere in sight. At this point in time, the house was subtly coming to life, and everything began taking on a slight buzzing quality. Not so much a buzzing sound as I know commonly accompanies DMT trips, but rather it was like everything was crackling with energy. I was beginning to get some distinct closed-eye visuals. The colors were deep colors, predominated by reds and purples. The patterns were strikingly familiar, and seemingly sinister. They were not like patterns I had seen on shrooms, acid, or salvia. They may have born a slight resemblance to ones I had seen when I smoked DMT for the second time and closed my eyes, but those were much more highly detailed with brighter, more vivid colors, and just of a different quality altogether. These patterns reminded me of some crazy ones you'd see on a jester's clothing, and throughout the experience, it sometimes seemed like I was looking at an open mouth with a big tongue flopping out. Not like a real mouth and a real tongue, but the patterns configured as such. If I would open my eyes, the patterns would linger a bit as impressions in reality, but would eventually be dominated by the visual buzzing. I was still a bit queasy which was growing ever frustrating along with the gradual loss of control over my body. At no point in the experience did I have an out of body experience, but rather lack of control, like an infant who didn't quite have the muscle memory to use its limbs effectively. I watched a couple episodes of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" in an attempt to lighten to the mood, as well as hopefully fall asleep, as the current state was uncomfortable. Funnily enough, Danny Devito looked like an elf. Unlike the smoked DMT, this Ayahuasca offered no direct euphoria, only wonder and awe at some of the beauty of my surroundings. The closed-eye visuals also grew a bit disturbing, additionally making sleep unobtainable. I got up to drink some water, and as I would move the cup away from my mouth, I would see a trailing image of the cup going down to the table. Even the trailers would maintain the buzzing quality. After watching a couple episodes in the living room, I tried to make my way upstairs. It was too difficult to do the old fashioned way (with just your legs) as I was forced to use my fists on the stairs, walking up on all-fours. When I got to the stairs I was unable to stand up, and decided that the only way I was going to get to my room was if I were to crawl there. Talk about feeling like an infant! As I got through my door I collapsed, unable to gather the will to even shut my door to hide my sprawled out body on the floor. Eventually after several moments of rest, I got up shut the door and fell into bed. Sleepy as could be, weak as could be, nauseous and hallucinating, I laid uncomfortably in bed for a few minutes. For some reason, even though I was having the hardest time moving around, walking was all I was compelled to do. Eventually my brother went to sleep as I spent the next several hours watching Always Sunny and staggering lifelessly like a zombie around my house. I was texting some friends of mine about how the experience was going, and one of my friends who lives a couple towns away, decided to come over and smoke [cannabis]. I wanted to smoke because I know that at least in the case of smoked DMT, cannabis reduces the DMT's effects, as well as the fact that I quite simply couldn't find my bud.

By the time he got to my house, he showed up with his little brother rather loudly in his Porche at around 5:30 in the morning. It was starting to get light out, though still no sign of the sun. Outdoors looked somewhat enchanting. As we walked down the street, I was able to see the sunrise, and it was beautiful. The leaves on the trees through which the deep orange beams of light shone through took on diamond and rhombus like shapes, though not like the vivid interlocking rhomboids of light I had seen during my first smoked experience with DMT.

I got back to my house and we chatted outside for a bit. I pretty much figured the trip was over as it was now close to 7 in the morning, and I had been tripping for a good six and a half hours or so. I told them I was just gonna head to sleep, but I really just wanted to go on my back porch and epitomize on the sunrise with the mild trippiness that was left in my vision. As I sat on the chair, I began to grow increasingly nauseous. As I stared at my porch, it began bugging out, constantly shifting in size. This was making me even more nauseous. I stood up and went upstairs to bed again to try sleep one last time. I laid in bed with my eyes open, staring at the wall about half a foot away from my face. I could tell it was slightly distorted, and the nausea persisted.

What happened next at around the seventh hour of tripping, ever nauseous, as I laid still in my bed made the previous hours of hell well worth it. I began to hear a voice in my head that I initially interpreted as my own internal narrative (that voice, my voice, that psycho-verbally narrates my thoughts throughout the day), except this wasn't my voice, and it wasn't making much sense. It was a very fruity, high-pitched, male voice. I don't know why I perceived it as male, but that's just how it was interpreted. The voice seemed to be in like a weird 5 part harmony, but not with pitches that we would considered to be a part of western music. The 5 or so voices were singing homorhythmically: all their syllables were the same, but they would be on different, ever shifting pitches. They were singing about complete nonsense: utter gibberish. The words were real words, and the sentences were actually pretty close if not perfectly grammatically correct, if I can remember well, but it was like random, useless information. It was like listening to a game of mad libs where all the nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, etc... were all in the right places, but just didn't go together. I had my eyes open for most of this part of the experience, though as the harmonious voices continued to flamboyantly sing, they would create corresponding patterns in my mind's eye. As they blabbered away, the nausea intensified at an accelerating rate. It finally became clear that I would be able to puke up everything I had been storing in my stomach (including the rice from much earlier) for the past 11 hours or so. I got out of bed, went down stairs, pleasantly dry heaving as I made my way down the stairs. I got to the bathroom, and finally, such as during my first attempt, I had several gut wrenching convulsions, expelling the Ayahuasca, rice and mint leaves.

Once I initially thought it was over, before hearing the voices, I should have known better as I had read many an experience where the trip seemed to be over, only to come back full force. Between the 7th and 8th hour, I came down to baseline, watching some Always Sunny to keep me in a happy mood. By the start of the eighth hour after the start of the trip, I was completely done. I had heard that the trip could last 4-8 hours, but I hadn't expected that I would experience the upper limits of that range. I was delighted afterwards knowing that I was successful in creating for myself, something so psychedelic, though I wish the experience would have been both more visual and euphoric. If I ever try Ayahuasca again, I'll be trying the Caapi/Psychotria combination for less nausea, and a hopefully more pleasant experience.

All in all, I don't regret the decision to go through with the experience at all, despite the sometimes extreme discomfort and frustration felt throughout, as I felt it made me mentally stronger, and I felt like it emotionally healed me in some unexplainable way. In the middle of the trip I dumped the other dose I had made for myself, as I didn't feel comfortable subjecting anyone I knew to what I had just gone through, and didn't feel like doing it again any time soon.


Awesome you posted it. I read it. I expected it to be more horrific.
 
The Pupil 0101
#12 Posted : 1/11/2012 9:24:11 PM
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AllIsDistraction wrote:
I realize and agree with the other posters that the ultimate depths and ultimate heights are in the end indescribable. But I still would like to see where this thread can go so I'll pitch in my two cents.

On a (stupidly) large dose of extracted Salvia I witnessed unparalleled terror in the form of losing my grasp on life and myself. I believed I had died, permanently. I was dangled over a sea of pure blackness just gazing at the abyss until I was sucked back into my body. In a word: Terrifying.

As far as an angelic experience... there was a time during an LSD trip where I fully believed I was traveling through space. Soaring past stars and suns, planets and even black holes. I could fashion the black empty space into shapes, like molding Play-Doh. It was euphoria in every sense and lasted for probably a good hour or so. I have never felt anything like it since.

And now that I think about it I really view both of those events as wonderful things, they both did a lot for me. But at the time the Salvia abyss seemed like a living Hell.

Why is it people put a good spin on what they thought was bad earlier? Is it a psychological defense mechanism, a form of acceptance of the uncontrollable, an unconscious retelling of the altered memory?

If your experience never stopped would you still say it's a wonderful thing?
 
The Pupil 0101
#13 Posted : 1/11/2012 9:29:30 PM
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To the gurus and masters who think their highest heights and lowest depths are indescribable, one question then:
Was heaven worth going through hell?
 
embracethevoid
#14 Posted : 1/11/2012 10:51:06 PM

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The Pupil 0101 wrote:
Why is it people put a good spin on what they thought was bad earlier? Is it a psychological defense mechanism, a form of acceptance of the uncontrollable, an unconscious retelling of the altered memory?

If your experience never stopped would you still say it's a wonderful thing?


The first time in your life you squat heavy, you curse every flight of stairs you see the next day or three.

When your legs get better it is quite the delightful experience. No pain, no gain.

 
The Pupil 0101
#15 Posted : 1/11/2012 11:12:55 PM
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embracethevoid wrote:
The Pupil 0101 wrote:
Why is it people put a good spin on what they thought was bad earlier? Is it a psychological defense mechanism, a form of acceptance of the uncontrollable, an unconscious retelling of the altered memory?

If your experience never stopped would you still say it's a wonderful thing?


The first time in your life you squat heavy, you curse every flight of stairs you see the next day or three.

When your legs get better it is quite the delightful experience. No pain, no gain.


You mean working out right? Working out makes you feel good so it's always going to be a good thing. If you dropped the weights and broke your back then that is bad. I can't see someone in a hospital a week later saying how great it was to brake their back.
 
Global
#16 Posted : 1/12/2012 12:57:22 AM

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The Pupil 0101 wrote:


Awesome you posted it. I read it. I expected it to be more horrific.


Yeah, well I remember it worse than it came off in that writing. I was crawling around my house begging for the chance to be able to fall asleep because the sleepiness was overwhelming, but I nauseously and involuntarily was hanging in there. It felt mildly schizophrenic, I was crawling around my house because I didn't have the power to walk, and when I could muster up the strength to walk, I staggered around like a nauseous zombie with buzzing trails everywhere. It was far from pleasant, but beautiful nonetheless.

Also in terms of why people tend to remember bad experiences in a good light afterwards is because the "punishment" so to speak is over with, but the experience is usually beautiful regardless of how terrifying it may be, and now that you've got that behind you, you can work on integrating lessons (possibly relating to why it went wrong in the first place). In addition, particularly rough experiences can end up feeling rather healing afterwards in a super-cathartic kind of way.
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein

"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead

"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb
 
aliendreamtime
#17 Posted : 1/12/2012 1:46:53 AM

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The Pupil 0101 wrote:
AllIsDistraction wrote:
I realize and agree with the other posters that the ultimate depths and ultimate heights are in the end indescribable. But I still would like to see where this thread can go so I'll pitch in my two cents.

On a (stupidly) large dose of extracted Salvia I witnessed unparalleled terror in the form of losing my grasp on life and myself. I believed I had died, permanently. I was dangled over a sea of pure blackness just gazing at the abyss until I was sucked back into my body. In a word: Terrifying.

As far as an angelic experience... there was a time during an LSD trip where I fully believed I was traveling through space. Soaring past stars and suns, planets and even black holes. I could fashion the black empty space into shapes, like molding Play-Doh. It was euphoria in every sense and lasted for probably a good hour or so. I have never felt anything like it since.

And now that I think about it I really view both of those events as wonderful things, they both did a lot for me. But at the time the Salvia abyss seemed like a living Hell.

Why is it people put a good spin on what they thought was bad earlier? Is it a psychological defense mechanism, a form of acceptance of the uncontrollable, an unconscious retelling of the altered memory?

If your experience never stopped would you still say it's a wonderful thing?


I stole this line from someones signature, maybe here or at mycotopia...but it goes like this

"only after you repeatedly expose yourself to annhialation can you discover that part of yourself which is indestructable"

I personally feel stronger in a difficult situation when I think to myself "remember when you were stuck in hell for infinite? this is nothing!"
 
Guyomech
#18 Posted : 1/12/2012 4:40:14 AM

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You know, it's funny, you're right- I do tend to place a seemingly disproportional value on my bad trips. I think it's because they can be so productive, especially during the reflection process later. At the time, they are overhard and overlong and no fun at all. I've had four significant bad trips- one on DMT (a tied-to-the-car-and-dragged experience with no memorable detail), two on LSD (one was a re-dose of 600 micrograms five hours after the initial 800... I'll never do that again!) and one on shrooms. As it was a sort of heaven-and-hell experience, I'll share that one.

It wasn't just shrooms... That summer I'd been playing around with powdered psilocybin preceded by 100 mg of cooked-down Syrian rue seed, which more or less doubles the visual content. It had so far been productive and punishment free, so I was gradually upping my dosage. On the day in question, it was 7g psilocybin.

Anyway, things were going great- best ever, really... Whole history of the universe written through a hyperdimensional crystal tapestry. And it just kept getting better, building and building over the course of several hours. Picked away at an almost-finished painting for a few minutes, had major breakthroughs. Amazing, amazing... Then the experience started to fragment.

By this point I had no concept of self whatsoever. What I recall in retrospect: periods of apparent nothingness, interspersed between flash vignettes of myself basically tumbling through the house like a drunken sloth- leaving my clothes in a heap; running my hand across the popcorn ceiling, watching the little foam beads go pop-popop-pop-pop; peeing in the corner.

My next memory was a formless void. After an eternity, this undulating field gradually materialized, like a sheet the size of the universe blowing in the wind, wrinkles of all scales forming endless fractal patterns flowing through it. Slow,titanic, infinitely distant. No memory whatsoever of my Earthside life. I was the mind of the universe, and I had failed. It was a failure so spectacular that I had gambled everything in existence on the success of my failed venture. Its wreckage was spreading and cooling, forming an ever-thinning cloud of cosmic debris. And I had nothing left; nothing but the rest of all eternity to contemplate my failure.

Then I experienced an unexpected return to time, to the movement of events. A new idea, like a distant glimmer of light: "you are on drugs. You will come down." and with that, the welling up of hope.

This was short-lived, and almost immediately forgotten: a new feeling set in, one of.. dread. Something distant and terrible, something potentially violating.

Fortunately, before this terrible thing could arrive, I remembered myself again. Hope returned:not only would I come down soon, but I have this amazing life to return to, a great partner, meaningful projects... The vision glimmered in the dark like a diorama in a museum, bathed in golden light. But then this vision faded...

It was tge darkest thing I had ever seen, sucking all light from my vision, towering above the whole world, blotting out the sky. And it was focused on me, laser-like in its intent: Rape. Eternal satanic mind-rape. There was nowhere to escape, no such thing as "where", really... Only total, abject terror and panic. But even this was soon forgotten completely, replaced by:

Not only would I come down, not only do I have this sweet life to come down to, but I am privileged to be part of something larger: a quest, a global-sized, species-wide quest, a journey to bring all knowledge,all learning, all the lessons and passions of history into a final crystallization of creative intent; I pictured myself standing before the easel in a cathedral-like space, the canvas ten feet tall, brush in hand, wailing away at this painting; a golden tower of crystal fire, a tower of language and truth, a thing of such beauty it felt almost wrong to see it coming from my own brush...

But then this faded. And by now I was starting to recognize the pattern, and I knew what was coming next. Everything became cold, all light was sucked from my vision, all went flat...

...And I woke up. Naked, very cold. In the basement, in a pile of rubble. With several broken bones.

And I tell you, brothers and sisters, there is nothing that will sober you up quicker than that kind of rude awakening. This was one of those hopefully once in a lifetime "almost died" trips.

I think that my biggest problem that night was not having a sitter. When venturing that far, don't go it alone!

I think the input of intense pain into my nervous system had a lot to do with where my experience went. Even with no body awareness, I think this kind of high-bandwidth input is hard to ignore. Otherwise, it would have been one of the greatest trips of my life. Well, in reality it was. Even a day later, back from the hospital and orthopedic surgery, ass thoroughly kicked, I was starting to understand the value of the experience.


Thanks for providing a place for me to share this... Not exactly dinner table conversation.
 
Lost travellier
#19 Posted : 1/12/2012 7:06:15 AM

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The Pupil 0101 wrote:
Why is it people put a good spin on what they thought was bad earlier? Is it a psychological defense mechanism, a form of acceptance of the uncontrollable, an unconscious retelling of the altered memory?

If your experience never stopped would you still say it's a wonderful thing?


-No, I think that this -a new look at myself on the other hand. The Persons simply understands that that sufferings of the Hell (either as that sufferings of the Paradise) - only stages of the precious experience self-knowledge and expansions of the borders of the vision. ( I had all night of the Hell, on length which I was heroic fought back with Devil. I am well - I am achieved and has won him. -It was second experience with psychedelics for me, much years back. But afterwards I have understood, as priceless my sufferings, as much I was opened and what love I that new world for me! ) So I consider that for development valuable all sufferings. This does not signify that if same bad sufferings were repeated, that I have got now from it pleasure. - No. But I certain that now my behaviour was others and I was already in "other" realities. As in film "Back to the Future"!...
 
Ringworm
#20 Posted : 1/12/2012 8:21:28 AM

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I've seen the highest heavens.... the final level.
Then I noticed the paint was still wet on my hands.
"We're selling more than a cracker here," Krijak said. "We're selling the salty, unctuous illusion of happiness."
 
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