veni, vidi, spici
Posts: 3642 Joined: 05-Aug-2011 Last visit: 22-Sep-2017
|
PRE-CONDITIONS(mind)Set:Happy and excited
(physical condition) :Fine
Setting (location):My bedroom
time of day: 11:55pm
recent drug use: 10 acid tabs at a reported 120mics but had been left out for a few days. Large amounts of weed.
last meal: Ham sandwichs at about 5pm. A constant supply of strawberry Frutella during the evening.
PARTICIPANT
Gender: Male
body weight: 70kg
known sensitivities: none
history of use: years of LSD use, 6 months of DMT use
BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Jimjam Infused leaf
Dose(s): 10 acid tabs/lots of weed then 120mg of 1:1 infused leaf (dose was not finished as there looks to be leaf left in the bowl)
Method of administration: Vaped/smoked in a small bong
EFFECTS
Administration time: T=11:55
Duration: 10 mins
First effects: A room wobble
Peak: 2-3mins?
Come down:?
Baseline:Monday morning
Intensity (overall): 4
OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 4
Implesantness: 0
Visual Intensity: 3
AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0
Afterglow: 4
REPORT
THIS IS ALL YOU ARE.
NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS
December 31st 2011
When it reaches that fantastic note, when the white rabbit finally peaks, when she hits that most epically beautiful of notes, at that point, with a head full of strawberry acid, I took the first hit of what was to induce my most incredible experiences ever, but this is not where the story began.
It was New Years Eve and I was alone in my house, I had spoken to my rentmonkey earlier that day and he had informed me that he was going out this afternoon and wouldn’t be back until Tuesday evening. This was the best news I had received all week as it meant that, for a change, my house would be silent, no banging doors, no dropped pans and no music seeping through my walls interrupting the immense sound of silence, in a word, bliss.
I began the ceremonies at 5pm, 2 hits of strawberry acid were placed under my tongue, an hour later another 2 were added and a final pair at 7pm. By 8pm I was watching the crazy shade changes which were fading in and out all around round my room, edges of objects hummed and vibrated as if filled with lysergic energy, the wallpaper swirled and I would catch things moving out of the corner of my eye, but each time I span round to see what it was it would quickly stop, this psychedelic game of hide and seek went on for many hours, I never won.
Tonight was to be my second participation in a S.H.E. (synchronised hyperspace event). I had decided to blast off at a few minutes before 12am so that I would be on my journey by the time the fireworks started, I thought the fireworks might interrupt the begging of my trip. It was approaching 11pm which meant I had time for one last dance with Lucy, well 4 dances really, I placed 4 strawberries under my tongue.( This 5 a day fruit business is quite easy if you select the correct fruit.)
I lay down, put my headphones on and became completely immersed in the Velvety Underground feeling of Venus in Furs.
I now had 1 hr to go.
It had been 3 weeks since my last full DMT journey, I had taken a few hits with Tom last week while we discovered the lovely effects of DMT on the LSD visuals and I had taken a strange journey with Carys last week, but this was to be a proper experience and I was properly anxious. I had weighed up my dose earlier, it was bigger than normal, 120mg of leaf went into the bong, mainly it was my test dose from Toms first extraction but I had topped it up with a little of my own infused herb.
I spent the last hour of 2011 trying to get ready for my impending journey, I knew that by the time midnight arrived Lucy would have caught her 2nd wind and I would then have to take us on a very special journey. I sat silently in the darkness of my room, my make shift extra curtains had done their job and there was no light permeating the room. Venus turned into riders who stormed down the endless hole of the white rabbit.
My phone alarm went off, I had set for 11:50, I knew it was time.
Instantly my anxiety level rocketed, I had never blasted off with so much fuel in the tanks and all I was hoping was that I wouldn’t explode on the launch pad, I centred myself on my bed.
Before you take your seat on the ride you have to ask yourself one question,
Are you ready?
If you are, and if you’re willing, then at that moment, that very special moment, when infinity steals a kiss from the void as they pass through an entheogenically infused psychedelic vista beneath a beautiful aurora of Dimethyltryptamine crystals, it is at this point the phone rings, it’s for you, it must be, you dialled the number, but you sit there, silent and still, hoping that if you don’t move they won’t feel you, but its hopeless, you dialled the number so you sure as hell better pick it up and when you do, BOOOOM.
In was ready, I warmed the bowl with my lighter, then began to pull slowly, inhaling the cool white vapour, I held and then blew out the first hit and everything in the room took a cosmic wobble, I took a breath and then another hit, this time the leaf caught light and quickly flared up into plumes of think white smoke. I held and exhaled the 2nd hit and i was gone, I mean I was still kind of holding it together but an enormous dose of strangeness crept through my being.
I was no longer in my bedroom, I was on a giant endless bed, I began to lose it, I had no idea what was going on but managed to take one more hit, well, half a hit really, I knew halfway through it that if I took anymore I would definitely spill the bong on the bed, in an effort to avoid this I quickly dropped the bong onto my bedside table and collapsed backwards, I knew I was in for something special as I closed my eyes.
I closed my eyes expecting to be smashed to pieces but nothing happened, it was weird, I could see the madness far off in the distance but I expected to be shown no mercy. I began to think again "that’s odd I should b…………" and then BOOOM. It hit with a power of the gods, I went from John to nothing, instantly.
No tunnels, no fractals, no colours, no carrier wave, just SMASH.
This year I got a Xmas present from DMT, it was a hyper dimensional ego smashing bomb
I had never experienced an ego death before and this was a true baptism of fire. It’s a very strange feeling to have or state to be in. I can’t really explain it because I cannot explain nothingness, so far my best attempt is to simply say that, I just was.
I thought I had experienced ego death before (this statement alone should have clearly pointed out to me that I hadnt, you don’t think you have experienced ego death or a breakthrough, you know you have), when I have taken some of my crazier journeys I felt like I had no body and my mind was not as normal, but I always had my mind, all the makings of John were still there, it was always John who was experiencing the epicness of all existence.
This time it wasn’t John on the journey, it was a striped down, streamed lined, dimension jumping, Spice upgraded version of John, the only way in which this information could be taken in and processed was if there was nothing to get in the way of the experience, no preconceptions or cultural learning’s, I was blank sheet .
I suddenly materialised into a void, a seemingly infinite endless spherical empty space, a space in which only the real, essential version of John could exist. This void seemed to be gradated with a smokey blue/grey colour which came from far, far below me, from the deepest depths of the void, the further down the void the deeper the shade. There was nothing in this space, I was central and all that existed was my consciousness and my breath, no name, no friends, no family, no memories of any kind, I simply existed. All I could hear was my breathing in out, in out, all that existed was my breathing and my awareness, my breath and my consciousness were the same, they were one. I have read about concentrating on your breathing during meditation but until this experience I had never really understood what they mean. Now I do.
In this state, at the centre of the void, I don’t remember thinking that it was out of the ordinary, I wasn’t panicked, I just was.
It was at this point that it went a bit, erm, weird, really weird.
All of a sudden a voice appeared in my head, an intense telepathic booming voice of unthinkable everythingness.
A barrage was unleashed, a barrage of telepathic waves of insistent truths bearing down on the core of my consciousness. I couldn’t see the being who was comunicating with me, but he had a familiar feel to him, as if I knew him but had never met him. It was exactly the same feeling i got on my last breakthrough, i was riding a fractal wave with a being who felt like a brother.
It seemed this unquestionable, friendly, authoritarian, endlessly powerful being had been trying his best to help me. He had tried to help me in dribs and drabs but that hadn’t worked, no matter what happened to me I couldn’t see the whole picture, I had seen scraps and turned over corners but that was all, I was adding 2+2 and coming up 57, it just didn’t add up, but he, in his position of seemingly unending knowledge and power was showing me the answer to all things, he was effortlessly showing me the number 4.
The voice boomed……
“THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE, NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS, THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE, THIS IS IT, THIS IS YOU.”
I thought, shit, what was that? To which came back
“THIS IS YOUR EVERYTHING, THIS IS ALL THAT YOU ARE, THIS IS THE REAL YOU, THIS IS THE SOURCE OF JOHN. REMEMBER THIS, REMEMBER WHAT YOU ARE, REMEMBER THIS.”
This voice was stern but fair, it was the type of voice I had once used when shouting at a friend about his drink driving. Sometimes talking doesn’t work and someone needs something drilling into them. This being was certainly drilling home the point.
The feeling of simply existing is very bizarre, I wasn’t scared or excited, I wasn’t anything, I was just was, I was consciousness and breathe.
The voice continued……
“THIS IS ALL YOU ARE, THIS IS ALL YOU ARE, THIS IS ALL YOU ARE. THIS IS IT, YOU WANTED TO KNOW WELL THIS IS IT. IM SHOWING YOU WHAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW”
I have no idea how long I was in this void but eventually something started to appear in the void. In front of me appeared some kind of filing system for existence, a representation of all that there is, it was a cascading climatic finale to the state of all things, these things were displayed in spheres of liquid solidity, this system held all things in some way and it seemed that this being, who I couldn’t see but who I knew was now directly in front of me, could manipulate this Roladex of reality at will.
The voice continued……
“THIS IS YOU AND THIS IS EVERYTHING, THIS IS THE WORLD, THE UNIVERSE, EVERYTHING, THIS IS ALL EXISTENCE, THIS IS EVERYTHING, THIS IS IT, LOOK AT IT, PAY ATTENTION, PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I AM SHOWING YOU, DONT FORGET THIS, DONT EVER FORGET THIS”
At this point I can remember I was absolutely destroyed, what the fuck was going on? You should not be able to meet a being who will, in no uncertain terms, and in a perfectly flawless manner, define, explain and then actually show you your own existence. He handed me myself on a plate and said…..
“Here, here’s everything, everything you ever wanted to know about yourself, your existence and your consciousness, here have it, it’s just for you, take it".
"NOW WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH IT???”
What am I gonna do with it? Errrrr, a little help please.
The first time I smoked DMT it changed my beliefs, I had been a staunch atheist and materialist for my whole life. Since my introduction to the Spice I have been filled with the strange feeling that something is going on, I have no idea what it is that’s going on but I now felt it and I felt it as strongly as I had previously felt that there was nothing going on. Im not sure what to make of this, but theres nothing i can do about it so i have excepted it as it has had no negative effects on my life.
The being continued in a slightly softer tone………
“YOU ARE RIGHT YOU KNOW, THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON, LOOK AT ALL THIS, LOOK AT IT, LOOK AT ALL THE GLORY OF EXISTENCE, YOU THINK ALL THIS IS A FLUKE? I AM SHOWING YOU EVERYTHING, ALL OF EXISTENCE IS AT MY FINGERTIPS FOR YOU TO OBSERVE. REMEMBER THIS, REMEMBER WHAT I AM SHOWING YOU. DON’T FORGET THIS, I AM SHOWING EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW, NOW DON’T FORGET IT”
As the experience began to fade he seemed to usher me out of the void, to push me back under the carpet of consensus reality all the time continuing to say……
“Don’t forget what I have shown you, this is what you wanted so don’t forget it, don’t forget, don’t forget, don’t forget”.
He was now saying this with a very different tone, no longer was it the insistent, authoritative voice of a multidimensional intervention, it was now more of a joking voice, the voice of a friend who had just told me the most incredible secret that he was not meant to tell. This change in voice came also came with a change in delivery, his monologue now came with a sly nod and a knowing wink.
It was like what he was telling me was known to many but not to me, he was like my Uncle showing me a magic trick on my 8th birthday, as he stunned and amazed me with his magic he would throw knowing nods and winks to the other adults at the back of the room, all the time hiding the truth from me.
But i was no longer 8, this time I was being shown the trick, I was being let in on the big secret, the nods and winks were for me.
I pulsated back into my room on a wave of insanity from the darkest side of the moon, outside my bubble, in the reality I was slowly seeping back into, a sky bound psychedelic explosion of celebration awaited, a celebration seemingly just for me, for I had returned from the back of beyond with precious secrets, I had been truly victorious, a finer journey could not have been had.
I lay perfectly stationary for about 10 minutes thinking that if i even moved an inch i might forget what had just happened, fireworks exploded all around, i was clearly still half here and half there, I was basking in the glory of what had just happened.
My greatest DMT experience so far and I couldn’t believe it, how can that happen, HOW!!!
INHALE, SURVIVE, ADAPT it's all in your mind, but what's your mind??? fool of the year
|