Hello there!

Would you mind if I return back to topic?

In May 2010, I have had an ‘awakening’. I have ‘understood it all’. I finally ‘got it’. Then the effects of DMT wore of, however, and I forgot the things that I ‘got’.

Then I was spending a good 3 months figuring out - what was that fundamental truth that I learned? I wanted to remember it. I took DMT a few times more – but no awakening occurred anymore, just some vague glimpse of something great. I felt that I almost got it again, it was on the tip of my tongue so to speak – but always just outside of my reach.

Almost 1 year and 4 month ago (I will never forget the date 3 September 2010), totally unexpected, I remembered the trip, the ‘awakening’ - everything. And was not able to forget it ever since.

The result: my worldview totally shattered, a complete reformatting of my brain occurred. A complete personality change followed: from somebody who is not interested in anything besides getting pleasure - I became the architect of my own fate. In the next week I changed my study at Leiden University (it’s in the Netherlands).

I am studying Psychology now, second year. Next year I am getting my Bachelor degree and then I am going for my Research Master of Cognitive Neuroscience. A lot of current scientific paradigm’s are going to be modified, changed or abandoned. I will keep the Nexus community informed in the next years as my scientific and spiritual progress continues.

Death&Decay put it very nicely to words how the ‘awakened’ state feels to me:
…except I have this kind of conversations every day. It took me some time to learn not to be afraid of this Voice, but now I completely integrated it in my life.

As somebody mentioned early in this topic – it’s not about getting ‘awakening’ or ‘reformatting your brain’. It’s about what you do with it. And I tell you from my own experience: the burden of ‘awakening’ can only be made lighter by setting the highest possible standards and goals.

This is why I had no option but to change from a ‘Joe Modal, spending his life playing computer games, eating, drinking alcohol and occasionally having sex’ into ‘Somebody who is going to become one of the greatest scientist of our time and change the world’.

I stress again: it was not really a choice to change and go for the highest things possible, things I did not admire or even think about before. It’s kind of an automatic byproduct of caring over the ‘awakening’ into the daily life.

With deep and outmost respect, love and passion,

AstraLex.

p.s. I use “” on ‘awakening’ as I understand that my description and experience of this state may differ from the readers definition of this word.

Apoc and Astralex....robustly effective ideas here! I agree with almost if not all of what you both are saying. This is the beauty of the Creation. It can and will be Anything and Everything, At All Times, In Love, Light, Truth and Wisdom. This is a beautiful dream, whose depths have still yet to be discovered by even the most seasoned aspects of The One Consciousness whom is You. We Need Your Help. Show Others The Way. Quickly.

I have awakened, but it was not a total awakening. To me, "total" implies a completeness and perfection that is outside of my experience. I believe I have experienced moments of a broader understanding of things than my usual perspective, but I do not know the extent of that expansion of consciousness. Subjectively, these moments went far beyond the experience of my usual lonely ego, yet I find myself here in this moment worrying about feeding myself and keeping warm and the reproductive imperative, etc. For me, the importance of awakening is not in the moment of subjectively experiencing a sense of connectedness with all that is. Rather, this sense of unity of a certain level gives me a greater capacity for empathy, compassion, and identification with all that is "other" in relation to my ego. In a word, Love. This concept, although distorted in so many ways, seems to have been the main message of such great egos as Jesus Christ and Buddha. They took their subjective experiences of identifying universally, without exception, and attempted to apply it to the role that human beings play in the great All That Is drama. We observe the result thousands of years later. Has their subjective experience and monumental effort to bring that experience to other human egos been successful? I suspect that the answer is no, most people, even those who worship Jesus have no sense of any consciousness broader than their own. The lesson I take is that while the subjective experience of identifying universally can be amazing to witness, even humans who have had a chance to expand their consciousness beyond their smaller roles must return to play their own parts most of the time. To know through having had a subjective experience that we all arise from the same energy and so in a sense there is no distinction between matter at all is a meaningless abstraction. Similarly, to believe that we are justified in pursuing only our own material comfort and the passing of our genetic material to the next generation because of the subjective experience that we are separate agents from all else is a shortsighted egotism. In my opinion, humanity is best served by individuals who recognize both sides of the coin. The human mind can conceive of itself as a manifestation of an underlying unity, and it can conceive of itself as a discrete being-in-the-world. The question then becomes: How do I want to behave as a discrete individual with an understanding of my relation to everything else? I believe the awakened are something like Plato's philosopher-kings, who desire to bask eternally in the perfection of the Form of the Good. The task of awakening others is then doubly challenging because it is painful to return to the cave and the world of shadows, and the unawakened resent and mock those who have subjectively experienced the Form of the Good. Jesus was crucified for his efforts, after all.

What would it mean to awaken fully? Personally, I suspect that the concept of awakening leads to infinite regress. Say that my human sense of self dissolved into a perfect identification with all the energy and mass in the universe. It does not seem unreasonable that such a consciousness might be subject to the same type of subjective, existential uncertainty that human beings experience. So then such a consciousness too would perhaps seek a further broadening of consciousness. Is an end to this regress conceivable? It is turtles all the way down, no?
Of course, it may be just as reasonable to speak about a consciousness that encompasses all there is. For me, the nature of universal consciousness is not an important question. How to live as a human being is the most important question to me.

dont worry,its just your chemically unbalanced brain talking.your just a human

That smile.

You know the one.

And a sigh of relief.

I've found that when the lights go out on this world, I realize that it was merely a chemically constructed brain that was telling me I'm human. You are not human. You are more machine than human. I know, it's strange to accept, and has no practical purpose in life, but that's reality.