I hadn't smoked DMT in a few weeks since I got a new job recently and hadn't really found time to sleep yet. Last night was the first night in over a week that I'd slept for more than 6 hours, so it seemed appropriate to follow the high, of having slept in, with DMT. I got in position quickly before realising that I had major pre-flight anxiety. I took about 10 minutes to relax and calm my body before taking the biggest hit I could. Unfortunately, this hit wasn't very big since the machine hadn't been charged in a while. I charged the machine with a heaping pile of DMT. I promised myself to try really hard to take a second hit. I told myself that this would be the breakthrough trip. I took a gigantic rip from the machine and held my breath.

As the effects were coming on, I was thinking about my promise to take a second hit. And then, when the trip reached a certain intensity, I realised that I couldn't care less about "breakthough" doses. What I could tell was about to happen to me was exactly what I wanted. I set down the machine and laid back. I realised that I've been focussing too much on "breaking through". As the effects really started to pile on, I realised that words like "breakthrough", "hyperspace", "abstract" and even "indescribable" are absurd in that we think we can use them to describe this, when this is clearly something that defies description. It also defies memory, and as I was coming down from the trip, I realised that the experiences were fading from memory. I remembered all the other times that my memory had been wiped of such wonderful experiences, and I was sad that my normal mind could not retain memory of the thing I had just experienced. Even though I could not really remember the beauty of the experience, I remembered how beautiful it seemed, and I then realised that there were tears on my face, and I began to laugh hysterically.

I probably spent less time in the experience than I spent thinking about the experience after it was over. My main realisation, in the aftermath of the experience, was that trying to describe or even remember the DMT experience is pointless and that any memory I have of what DMT is like is foolishly deceptive in that all I have to go on, in remembering the experience, are dull shadows of what actually occurred. As a consequence, I develop this idea of my trips not being adequate because, from what I can remember, they're not that incredible. In reality, I can only remember 1% of what happened during the trip. The other 99% is a secret that is revealed to me when I smoke DMT, and which will inevitably be forgotten once again. The funny part is that I continue to pursue the DMT experience again and again, even though my excitement and anticipation are based solely on the mere 1% of the memories that I've managed to maintain from past trips.

It certainly is indescribable. Recently I've found myself strictly working with sub-breakthrough doses, the reason being I can generally remember them fairly clearly. I have some crystal clear memories in fact. When it comes to breaking through, like yourself I find I can remember maybe 1% or so.

I feel there is just as much to be gained spending ~45 minutes in sub-breakthrough land as there is in blasting off with larger doses, for me anyway

Yeah, I agree. Also, I've never used caapi, but I imagine that extending the DMT experience would make it easier to remember/integrate.

I use mainly caapi+dmt instead of plain DMT, but I find no difference in remembering the experiences.

Tele, what do you like most about using caapi: That it extends the trips or that it has its own mind-altering effects?

The extended duration is nice, but I mainly use it because it mellows out the trip alot. I don't even use freebase anymore. It is less "in your face" and violent. You can still go as deep as you please though, it is amazing stuff.

It's the bass of the band.

^ nice analogy
I can only confirm that smoking DMT while on oral harmalas is fantastic!

Nice description, hixidom. Coming down from a DMT trance has been described as gold dust that slips through the fingers... we can remember certain events but we cannot really take back what it was like.

But I do remember enough to know that the miracles that are revealed are lightyears beyond anything I could have thought possible. True, in-your-face, DEAL-WITH-IT miracles. Takes some time to digest it all and apply it in life on Earth, getting ready for the next step 'there'...

I found that before I experienced it myself there was nothing that could describe what it was like.
And the fact that each trip can be so different makes it so much harder. The best way to explain it is probably to show
I can usually remember what are like photos of the trip, the feeling of being mind-blown, and a few divine truths that make it worth it lol. What I can remember is usually not visual but more of a feeling, or a mental sense or something else equally indescribable. Funny story, last trip I went on I specifically remember thinking "I promise I won't forget!" when I was 'leaving'.

As far as adding caapi, do it. Smoke a caapi joint before hand, it slows the onset so you'll have a good minute to hit the pipe before your gone so breakthroughs are so much easier.
It does extend and intensify the trip a lot, it doesn't help you remember anything to be honest though.
I like with or without equally but for different reasons.

Funny I was telling my wife the other day, if I was able to remember everything from one trip, I may not need to do it ever again. If I go in silence, its the same place, all I know is I'm witnessing some alchemy or science happening. I'd think I could remember more since the trip is the same everytime, but no

^ The same trip every time - that's quite rare!
And then, when you return, it all floods in again... how could I ever forget THIS? But forget what???



How familiar! Last time I thought that, some data channel switch was pulled in a blink and all I got was 'access denied'
On another occasion when I asked how to take it back, a lightning bolt from an entity struck straight at my heart - like telling me it's love and passion that should be the motivators to follow this path.