Man, re-learning to operate this keypad is hard work! I have to remember what the letters mean and how they combine with others to make cohesive ideas communicable. And yes, I am still tripping.

Today was like any other day, given the cyclical nature of organic life. I awoke from my slumbers, still holding onto fragments of significant dreams and clear, clean, lucid memories. I got up and embraced the rhythm of my habitual modality. I am currently part of the 99% and sadly, now unemployed. This does, however, create openings for other pursuits, so it's all good.

I was on the fence about imbibing mushrooms, so I let the idea gestate and proceeded with my morning coffee, some breathing exercises and meditation (followed by asanas and some stretching). After playing a couple of my favorite bamboo flutes for an hour or so, I decided it was time for some cappi tea. I drank it with a reverential attitude, mind you. I loaded some caapi leaves and stinky Vermont homegrown into a glass bowl. I proceeded to make ritual usage of the Sacrament. When I felt the buzz softening my perception of reality and expanding my mental boundaries, I embraced an old friend, Ms P. Cubensis. A very beautiful ally.

As with most of my trips into the mythic realms of psychedelia, it became a balance between keeping my center of awareness still & empty and getting lost in a myriad of endlessly morphing visuals. I became understandably infatuated by the colorful patterns and spiraling currents of pulsing energy. What a show!!! Yeah, I love the kaleidoscopic aspects of the dance with entheogens. Every time I return so such a fulcrum of ever-changing forms and fractal geometries... I am amazed anew, every single time.

As gloriously entrancing as they are, I always return to this place deep inside of myself... where I see the radiance of The Clear Light of the Void. It starts as a blinding luminosity and as it gains full bloom, it washes away everything I think I am... and the some total of what I reason I have learned or know about existence. Today was no different and in many ways, it was quite typical of my shamanic journeys. What made it unique was the ease in which I melted into the web of the insubstantial.

I have come to believe that if we practice releasing our fixed mentality and predispositions, we get a feel for the possibilities of new understanding. Yeah, "practice makes perfect" or something like that? It helps to make the transition less painful but no one can really prepare for ego death, anyway. We can attune to a more centered and a quieter state of mind but... nothing can prepare us for being shattered by the force of Spirit.

No, this was something else altogether, it was definitely the harmalas. An intuition or instinct was very strong in my core of being, my consciousness as witness to the input of sensory data. I had little resistance moving from one plane of thought, to the next plane of thought. The whole time, a loud ringing in my ears began to grow stronger and oscillate with an intensity I associate with DMT.

Behind and within the ringing/buzzing sound current, a lower pitched rumbling vibrated like a constantly morphing drone. The Sacred voice of the word OM (or AUM). It drew me further inwards, until the drone enveloped my very soul. This oscillating soundscape seemed to originate from somewhere at the top of my head, or was it beckoning to me from even further above my crown? It shook my mind like a rag-doll, as the borders and boundaries of my "normal" self had become thinner and still thinner membranes, when the distinctions between things began to collapse... to dissolve.

The roaring sonic vibration was everywhere and yet, seemed to be in union with the pulsations of The Great White Light, which by now had begun to shine and radiate with even more luminosity. This brilliance expanded within my head until it washed away my ability to reason cohesively, leaving an all-knowing, mind of light in it's place. This "mind" needed no thought-forms to define it's measureless depth of intelligence, for to glowed like a million suns!!! Such intelligence simply seems to know... without the participation of a human host. Like a vast reservoir of timeless universal wisdom.

Lines of shimmering energy shone with humming light-rays of radiating brilliance, issued out from a blindly-bright central point. Much like a Jacob's ladder piercing through the clouds. These exploding rays formed a vortex. It was like ascending a pyramid of high-energy, lines of vibrating light, one step at a time. When I had this thought, I could visualize it and see a distinct pyramidal form of energy, with a central stairway leading to the apex. Just like the Toltec pyramid at Chichen Itza.

I couldn't see anything towards the top, as it was obscured by blinding white light. A pulsing, living light which has rainbows of diamond-shaped colors within it's texture but is so blinding in appearance, I was unable to look at the light, without loosing what was left of myself as an observer. I felt washed away. I let go of my vantage point and the buzzing pyramid of light rays dissolved. And the great light grew even brighter... enveloping and absorbing my willing soul into it's immeasurable shimmering radiance.

Even the shift to NO MIND was as smooth as polished glass. I ceased identifying with being an observer to my perception of the ineffable light. The inner pilot, which is my earthy human ego, became undone and in the silence of said undoing, a force awakened within this being. A remembrance of always being this force became the closest thing to a thought that formed within myself. The funny thing about "Cosmic Consciousness" is that it require no thought. Only unbending intent and a focal point of primal, raw awareness. In fact, now that I am recrystallizing as a thinking human being, I find it most hilarious to conceive of verbalizing even a fraction of what was imparted during the eclipsing.

How can one exist and not be self-conscious? Maybe it's one of the great mysteries but no matter how philosophical or intelligent one is capable of being, it pales in the face of infinity. There are no words in human speech which can capture this state of being.

What sequentially followed is what I have a penchant for calling a WHITEOUT EXPERIENCE. As my self became subtler and more washed away by the current of the universal energy, another consciousness seemed to be awakening! It was yearning for existence and ready to take the place of the ME that is my accustomed ego. Paradoxically, this makes no sense from this side of the looking glass. Yet, an awareness more enigmatic and ancient than I have words to describe was opening it eyes and looking at existence through what I had thought was my own awareness.

But it was not my awareness anymore... it was the awareness of the One God, which was looking at itself, as myself. The awakening of the Omniself. Too hard to clearly get the idea across, as it sounds megalomaniacal when I put it into words. Doesn't it? Or does it? You know what I mean?

Whatever this awareness is... it seemingly implants a KNOWLEDGE in the perception of witnessing psychonaut (or ardent spiritual seeker), that it is truly the core awareness of all beings. One Love. And it knows only itself, in ways which so differ from how we know ourselves, that no mortal language contains a way to successfully describe it. This Unified Field of Energy exudes a vibe of indivisibly and it is completely inconceivable, for one to encapsulate verbally, such a presence of spiritual being, void of any discernible form.

Only pre-peaking or post-peaking, can this be observed subjectively. During the very central axiom of the peak... that mysterious and illuminating state of being, It is all that exists. Such a tremendous force creates a vacuum which devours oneself and silences all subjectivity. So too, all points of cognitive, personal reference.

Awareness, however, abides. It can only be seen from the point of view of the individual consciousness, upon returning from the eclipsing within The Godhead. In deep revelation, there is a transcendental emergence, there is a singularity and all-pervasiveness sensed. This rushing epiphany makes it seem like it is the very "I"... that omniscient I (eye am that eye am) existent within each and every particle in the vast multiverse. The singular eye looking out from within every soul, the very hub of all consciousnesses... which had glanced at me, as I glanced at it.

It looked at me, as I symbiotically looked at It, by me looking deeply within myself. The Cosmic Mirror. I glanced at God, by looking within myself? Then who am I? Who are we all? Who is God? All is Godly, all is Divine, all is One. What then, is not inherently an expression of Divinity, when all is perceived as dance of The One?

I cannot even begin to speculate why psychedelics cause this shift in perception, as no explanations can recreate such profound awareness. I do thank the universe for gifting them to humanity. There is a KEY hidden within their respectful usage, which unlocks a doorway into the eternal landscape.

As I still fumble with this keyboard, and struggle through spell check, I wish I could more clearly convey what has happened today within my head, witnessed by my mind's eye. I can only imply and imitate the reality behind the force of said current, which swept me into the unknowable expanse of the light. A portal into The Insubstantial Quintessence.

I just wanted to touch ground with you kind folks, as I feel you are my extended, psychedelic family. I kept returning to the idea that there was something vitally important for me to communicate with you guys, my people. A message eluded to within this tangle of words and attempted meaning. Or is it just a mirrored reflection of myself, echoing through the realm of duality at large? And what's the difference between you, I and the absolute? For all appearances are illusory and subject to a reality check. A day in the life.

I guess I just want to say that I love and respect you all. Namaste, I honor the light within you all.

Thank you for the read. I haven't reached this level of awareness/submission, but I've seen glimpses and it has be excited. I also wonder why it requires psychedelics to be aware of what, once on them, seems so obvious. I also love how we all view the same thing from different angles and arrive at similar conclusions. Keep us posted.

As a side note, care to share your dosage? I'm always curious what amounts it takes to get various people to "that place."

WOW!!
and, spelled backwards, !!WOW

Keep it up, we will live in a better world as a result.

That sounds like quite the experience! Welcome back...and no you certainly don't sound like a megalomaniac!

Peace

Very skillfully written my friend I greatly enjoyed that, it reminded me of my glimpse into the light, next time I want to stay there for a few hours, if not eternity

MOAR reports please!

I agree with purges, you have a keen talent for words. I start talking like that after a good trip. It is as if your own holisitic intelligence has been renewed and tuned up. It really is quite amazing. Awesome trip report by the way!

Thanx Guys & Gals,

Your kindness and support means a great deal to me. Me? Who am I (but that's another thread, hehehe....)?

As we are all well aware of, The Traveler and the Mods are emphasizing the need to limit references to "unscientific" mention of psychedelic usage, to this subforum alone. In all honesty, I am on-the-fence about continuing my participation within the Nexian community.

I love many of you like real family and do not wish to make an exodus... but how do I pretend that I do not KNOW what has been gifted to me within my Vision Quests? How do any of us pretend that what we are directly experiencing is NOT part of a continuum, which has existed on this planet for many, many thousands of years? I will have to meditate deeply on this issue.

How does everyone else feel? The way Hyperspace Fool was treated recently, shocked my intellect, hurt my feelings and confused my admittedly naive, psychonautical sensibilities. Let's face it, entheogens have been respectfully imbibed by shamans, mystics and sages for millenniums. So, must we sanitize it so strictly, just because words like: God, Spirit, Tao, The Indivisible, The Divine or even The Void, etc... cannot be proven or quantified through logical deduction and reasoning? Must our discussions of psychedelia be segregated in such a blatant manner? I wonder sometimes...

It warms my heart to read such kind encouragement but I still cannot wrap my head around the decision to edit The Spirit from The Spirit Molecule. As Brother joedirt has publicly stated, if this trend becomes even more extreme... there may arise a need for a sister forum-site, which these thoughts, feelings, sensations and expansive ideas are openly discussed and heartfully encouraged.

For now, I will try and restrict myself to this subforum, as I do respect The Traveler and do not wish to add further to the division and controversy, which our community is struggling with currently.

Namaste and much love, RS

Hey Rising Spirit,

You wrote down a beautiful piece!


When you state "As we are all well aware of, The Traveler and the Mods are emphasizing the need to limit references to 'unscientific' mention of psychedelic usage, to this subforum alone." I see that I was not clear enough about the goals of this subforum.

I made this subforum to provide a place where people can discuss alternative ways of life without being scrutinized by science. See it as a safe haven for people who want to present their alternatives ideas even if there is no scientific answer possible (yet).

Some topics are clearly for the "Through the Looking-Glass" subforum since those topics have no possible scientific answer (yet), I'm thinking about things like crystals and chakras here. However, others topics are not so clear and they can be debated without any problem in the rest of the forum.

For example, looking at your post I think that it would not have looked misplaced in the Philosophy subforum. It shows deep insight and it has a certain philosophical flare about it. If it would have been placed in the Philosophy subforum I'm pretty sure that it would get the same great replies too.

So as you can see, the lines are not that black and white, like most of this forum.



EDIT: I like to add this piece of text from this post that I made in the new policy thread:

As an extra addition to make things even more clear: The limit set in the new policy is that theories/ideas should not be presented as fact when they are clearly not. Not only is this meant for 'new age' and 'esoteric' topics but also for EVERY other topic that simply is not a fact! A good example of this is that it still is not clear if extra DMT is released during sleep, getting born and at the time of death, we cannot state if this is true or false, we just know that it's an unproven and maybe even unlikely theory.

So please, don't think this is only for 'spiritual' topics!


Kind regards,

The Traveler

Rising Spirit, I hope you stay with us and keep posting elsewhere in the forum! Alternative ways of looking at life and the spiritual quest are essential, when one also keeps balance and questions oneself continually.

Be well!

I'm one of those hard-headed science types and yet I constantly find myself reading your posts, Rising Spirit. If ever there was to be a representative of the mystic, it's you. I certainly hope you stick around because you're articulate in the prose of spirituality more so than anyone I've read. Your words warm my cold scientist heart.

Much love.

Wow, I agree with the others, beautiful writing. A beautiful experience as well, although not to sound as you said like a megalomaniac, you have summed up my most basic of experiences.(i.e. that this experience is very similar to what I have every time, and most times I could build upon your experience if I had the knack for prose you did.) I mean why go to the mountain and not talk to Mohammad??? Are you also an avid student of the psychedelic experience guide?? With your talk of the Clear light of the Void really reminded me of that. I can usually dive right into the clear light now without any Bardo struggles.

My, my... you've all given me much to think about, as has Hyperspace Fool, through private message. We both share a fondness and fascination with this fine community. And yes, there is something quite vital and valuable about this unique fellowship. If I acted in haste or came off seeming more a temperamental 20 year old, than a seasoned 53 year old, please forgive my conundrum. I'll give this some sincere soul searching.

@The Traveler,

You've been nothing but courteous and respectful to me. I do understand your concerns and how you want to keep the main focus of this forum rooted in a clear and responsible format. This effort is decidedly NOT a psychedelic Voodoo convention, where anything goes. I will respectfully abide by your guidelines. Let me know if I have crossed the line, so to speak. Thank you for your time and consideration. You are a thoughtful and honest human being.

@endlessness,

You've given me much to reconsider. As we all have so much MORE in common, as explorers of mind, than we have any differences. It's worth the compromise for a greater harmony, for all of us to make an extra effort to clearly place our comments in the appropriate subforums. I hope it has been evident that my intentions are always sincere and honest of my experiences.

I'll play by the team rules, not a problem. After all, I wouldn't expect the die hard logicians would troll this spectrum of the Nexus and toss insults, as has been the sad case, in other subforums.

Hyperspace Fool urged me to accept these new, stricter conditions, for the greater harmony and I actually do second that notion. And BTW, I never felt you were ever demeaning or insulting. I'm sure we can all learn something valuable, by working together, to change this repetitive conflict?

@joedirt,

My dear brother-friend, I sure hope I didn't drag you into my own melodrama, by mentioning your interest in a sister site. Frankly, it's a lot of work and quite time consuming. We've all got plenty of things tugging at our free time and even more so, responsibilities from our daily lives. If you do end up crafting one, I'd be honored to contribute. But yeah, let's keep involved here and step lightly around the discussions which find little harmony, when mentioned outside of these parameters. It's all good.

Back to my original thread topic. I can't say for sure how much Caapi powder, since my digital scale has recently been dropped and in the process, gone to the great graveyard for low-tech devices. Gotta get a new one for Xmas. I eyed-out about 6 or 7 grams but who knows? The mushies were already weighed-out in advance, at 3.5 grams. Seemed like a 2-to-1 ratio.

For whatever reason, the older I get, the less it takes me to have a breakthrough experience. It may or may not be a reverse tolerance issue. I do believe that 37+ years of sitting and moving meditation is KEY to this receptivity. As with many other members of this esteemed forum, I always begin the voyage with deep meditation and some attention to my breathing. I do believe this makes for a mentally balanced, relaxed and highly attuned internal environment. A centered foundation... and calm, respectful launching-pad into the uncertainty of the shimmering unknown.

I feel the same way. I don't take very large doses of mushrooms any more. Not because I can't handle them, but because I actually don't need them to get were I'm going.

I believe it's because of mediation. If I vape some pot before meditation practice I often times see full visuals. Different than tryptamine visuals..more like dream images, but they are crystal clear. This is a new reality for me in the last year or so. I can actually hold pretty realistic 3D images in my mind during normal practice. But mostly these are just distractions from the real task at hand. Seeking the Light.

Psychedelics with meditation are really the only way I like to trip these day's. I do enjoy a light dose of shrooms at a show sometimes, but not often. Mostly I just like to wake up early on a Sunday morning, bow before creation, eat some shrooms, smoke a little changa, and realize once again that I know nothing.

Seekers of the light. What are we? Seriously? I mean WTF are we if not the universe literally waking up to itself? I don't trip often, but when I do I am humbled to the core every time. This world, this reality, is amazing...and I feel DMT suggests this is little more than a scratch on the surface of that which is REAL.

Peace.

My first encounter with the term and concept, The Clear Light of The Void, was from the Drs. Timothy Leary, Ralph Metzner & Richard Alpert's (Baba Ram Das) book, The Psychedelic Experience. I was just 19 years old and going to art school in Boston, early 1978. I had had numerous visions of a blinding light, while under the effects of mescaline, LSD and mushrooms, so it immediately drew my attention. Gotta love Timothy, that "wild impetuous fool", but I soon gravitated towards both, The Egyptian Book of The Dead and more importantly, The Tibetan Book of the Dead.

Today, I use this expression because I am continually encountering The Light, when I bring my attention to that forbidden fruit, my pineal gland. Yes, I said it loud and clear, My Third Eye. Which I prefer to call The Singular Eye, since "Omni-Eye" is a bit peculiar sounding. Isn't it? As well as the overall activation of the Crown (Thousand Petaled Lotus), but of course. The spiritual antenna and the generator. The gateway centers into the Infinite Web of The Grid.

Thank you..
For the share and i hope you will stay... As you said you have many friends here..Besides if you stick around long enough?.... there may be...CAKE!!! lol.. is there cake? Oden

Well said (and asked)