Apologies if you have read this elsewhere, I thought I would share one of my earliest experiences with DMT.
So this weekend, a friend was introduced to Changa. She went first as I wanted a clear head to keep an eye on her. I loaded the bong up with quite a large dose as she really wanted a deep, strong, spiritual experience, even after I had told her just how powerful it was, and the possible repercussions. She was cool with that, she had done various psychedelics before, but had never had a spiritual encounter, which she was very excited about experiencing.
I had 2 hits left (could have been 3 in hindsight), and gave her the slightly smaller one. We were out in her garden, near her pond, which had Koi Carp and a mini waterfall. It was shrowded by large, old, drooping trees, and was quite frankly a perfect place for an amazing experience. She hit the bong, and I quickly removed it from her hands, noticing that she was slipping into DMT world just as she started exhaling.
The next 10 mins or so I watched silently as she groaned, laughed, stroked / squeezed her tongue and fed herself something invisible. It was very strange, but kind of interesting and funny to watch from an outside perspective. When she started coming back round, she was absolutely gob smacked, everything was an incomplete question "what the..." "How..." "What the F**K, man" etc etc, She said it felt like all of her emotions were being activated, and her mind was reconstructed and put back together again. Reborn. All before breakfast. He he. She could see the interconnectedness of nature around us, and felt like she had been touched VERY deeply. She is now fascinated, confused and I think, slightly scared of this substance, much as I am! The following hour or two saw her crying, laughing, and doing a lot of questioning, I tried to help answer some of those questions, but I'm sure as many of you know, our puny little human brains just can't describe what they have just been through, let alone ask about what has just happened. I think this experience has opened her to much deeper levels of self than she has experienced before.
So then it came to my turn, I was pretty apprehensive after seeing how deep my friends experience was. I loaded my trusty bong up took a few deep breaths and took the whole lot in one big lungfull. I should have taken it in two breaths looking back, to ease me in slightly more gently. Before exhaling (it usually hits as I exhale) I could feel it gripping me. F**K, this is going to be HEAVY, I remember thinking after holding for a few seconds, and quickly exhaled.
Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvmmmmmmmmmmmm, the 'carrier tone' was a lot louder than I had previously experienced. Everything started waving, pulsing, and I lay back and felt that familiar feeling of propulsion, and that descending, heavy presence that I have experienced a couple of times with this changa (from my understanding, that 'feeling' of this presence is from 5-Meo?*). Next thing I know, I am dead. I remember thinking "you've done it now" - thing is, I was totally cool with it.
At this point, for a brief second, I saw 'the other side' - right before purging, I think that may be what triggered it, the gravity of what I had just seen. I am no longer sat down, but stood up near the edge of the pond throwing up. Only it didn't feel like I was vomiting. I became part of it, and flowed through my own fingers towards the water, having an out of body experience in this way was very strange indeed, how can you flow between your own fingers?! I then merged with everything around me, the trees bowed towards me, draping me sympathetically in their luscious supernaturally green limbs. I felt warm, comfortable, and very complete, yet I was being dissected and reconstructed by a great, powerful force. According to my friends my sick was bright orange, very strange, considering all I had had that day was a cup of tea. I felt very clean afterwards, even though I probably looked and smelled pretty damn awful. Having a shower afterwards felt incredible.
I believe I have experienced ego death before on acid and ketamine combinations, but never anything like this. I wasn't aware of my body for a good 10 mins or so, even though I somehow managed on auto pilot to get off the cushions I was lying on to vomit. I have no idea why I had the urge to catch my sick. The flowing water I feel contributed greatly to the experience, and helped produced some mind boggling effects. I have had the sound of flowing water turn walls to water on LSD before, but never anything this deep, symbolic, and totally organic feeling.
It has taken me a day or so to put this sequence into any order, because it felt like a wash of fluidity in which time had no meaning. This is probably the most intense experience to date, but I feel better for having gone through it.
I want to go back, go a bit deeper, stay there a bit longer, but part of me is also pretty damn scared at the same time. Heavy stuff for both me and my friend. I will have a break for a while, and suggest she does the same. I think my friend is having a little trouble assimilating what happened, but feels better for the experience.
* This was early on in my explorations when I did not fully understand these compounds, plus I had not made the Changa myself, so was not aware of its contents. I am pretty positive there was no 5-Meo in there now though
Lose Control, Free My Soul, Break Me Open, Make Me Whole."DMT kicked my balls off" - od3