Before beginning I set my intentions by asking myself what needs to be healed and asking for help with my anger. Lately I have been having trouble at work, as I found myself hating everyone I worked with. I was to find out where it was all coming from in mere moments.
My memory of exactly what happened is a bit sketchy, but shortly after throwing up I ended up in the shower. Here everything was brought to light. I faced my demons in a way that I have never been able to. Suddenly I realized that I was still so angry at my brother for killing himself and that I was still hurting from the loss of Sydney (my dog). I was able to tell Matt how much it hurt that he was gone, how much I loved him and how mad I was that he took his life. I felt pain on a new scale. Physical pain is only temporary, but emotional pain can stay with us forever. It festers inside and affects the physical body as well as the mind. Then I began to grieve, hard. It started with the loss of my dog Sydney who was taken from me when I went to jail last year. I never gave myself the chance to mourn the loss of her. With being in jail and then in a halfway house being tough seemed to be more of what I needed at the time. Then the floodgates broke open. I grieved for my brother, for my mother, for me and for so much more. I was shown that we’ve got it all wrong. We were meant to take care of each other not take advantage of each other. I was shown and taught so much, it is impossible to describe the magnitude of what happened here. As I lay there sobbing and screaming in agony and letting the warm water flow over me the healing began and slowly my tears and sobs and moans changed to tears of joy and bliss. As I got the last bit of that vile shit out of me a change happened and I began having a conversation with my creator. We spoke telepathically for what felt like hours. I was told and shown that I am worth so much more than what I give myself credit for. I remember at one point asking about Jesus.
“What about Jesus?”
“What about him?”
“Did he exist?”
“Of course.”
“Was he the son of God?”
“Aren’t we all the sons and daughters of God?”
Suddenly I realized that I had been hung up on the wrong issues with my spirituality. Of course Jesus was real, of course he existed. There is no longer any doubt in my mind as to what I believe concerning Jesus. In the end it doesn’t really matter. We are all children of God each with our own special talents and abilities.
This is where it gets even more bizarre. Suddenly I began asking about my family. I was told that S is my teacher and true mother. I was told that my seed is strong. I learned that my children will be strong and healthy. And then, I was given my new name, Ezekiel - Ezekiel Hezekiah. This brought along with it the knowledge of who I am and why I am here and what is important to me; family being above all, and then helping others spiritually. I am a medicine man, a healer, a creator. From this day forward I am one who walks with God. I have been touched. No longer am I ashamed of who I am. I found my purpose and discovered who I am. I had been lost for so long and suddenly I was found. I realized that this was the rite of passage that I have been seeking for so long and now I know that the last ten years of my life have not been wasted to addiction, but had been an education of another sort. My path is of the modern day Shaman or medicine man, a healer of souls and bringer of life. I also have to mention that throughout this experience I felt nothing but love. It was scary, it was painful, and it was beautiful. Huasca is a powerful medicine not to be taken lightly.
I have been reborn. I have been cleansed. My fears, my pain, my anger, washed away and replaced with a sort of enlightenment and peace in the knowledge of things to come. I should also mention that the visuals were of a level that I have never seen before in my life. This has been a breakthrough experience and I feel that I am forever changed for the better. I was shown more than I can possibly even comprehend and I am grateful.
Muchos gracias mi amigo.

I'm glad to hear you found what you were looking for my friend!

I assume you were drinking Aya rather than smoking?

incredible man! Your story goes deep and I thank you sincerly for sharing it with me.... I have been lost for awhile too, looking for answers and love in all the wrong places (drugs), I know I need to have a breakthrough; and I respect how tough its going to be. I just need a fresh perspective to get a lease back on life. I was sceptical about ayahuasca; but now I feel that its the right choice for me. THank you so much for sharing, and have a lovely life!

Thank you for the positive feedback! Since having this breakthrough experience/spiritual awakening, I have given away all of my personal possessions and started to backpack across the country visiting family and friends along the way. I must say that prior to this experience, I battled an addiction to oxycontin, then herion for almost ten years. Since having this experience, I no longer feel the need to bury the pain that I carried through life with drugs. When I first started using psyches in general, it was just for fun. Today it has become a spiritual experience and I am thankful for everything thay I went through in order to get here. I almost didn't make it, but here I am. I only hope to help others as they travel through this human experience that we call life. ~Much love.

Great to hear that. Isn't it amazing how molecule can change one's life for the better? Good luck with your journey

welcome.... i have had the anger you speak of... and the understanding you now have.. the greatest thing i learned.. is so very simple.. healed people heal,hurt people hurt.. please go on and be a healer its what this world needs more of.. thank you for sharing.. much love to you and congrats on finding this place there is much wisdom here and great love. good luck on your quests may you never feel lost or blind again<3

So true Oden.

What type of Ayuasca did you brew Ez? I got 2 pounds of this ForestRX 4:1 B. Caapi powder and 120 grams of M. Hostilis. I've been smoking DMT , but it kinda freaks me out (cause I live with my parents) and just cause its kinda fast and strong to what I'm used to. I would liek to brew a good tea, or possibly just gel-cap the two powders in the right amounts for a more managible experience.

I made my brew with mhrb and rue. I brewed each one seperately. I took the rue (about 5g) then twenty minutes later I took my first dose of the mhrb (20g worth of extract) followed by a second dose the same size about ten minutes later. It was a very difficult but wonderful journey. My recomendation is to be so?ewhere where you don't have to worry about being too loud. Man, I thought the neighbors were gonna call the cops a couple times. Screaming can be a side effect of all that is burried inside. Balling, laughing, I had a friend just start screaming guttural nonsense once and that freaked me out for a minute too. It's not always that way, but just be ready for anything. I just went on a journey and I didn't realize how much I had been hurting until I noticed tears streaming down my face. I was able to keep my volume down, but it can happen. I would like to work with caapi and possibly toss chacruna or chali into my mhrb brew. I've used chali once, but my mhrb was bunk so who knows what could have happened.

Enjoyed your report brother! I wish you all the best