Greetings fellow travelers,

I am not sure how to go about this so I will just go ahead and begin! I have long since had a feeling that I didn't belong here. Not to say that I couldn't necessarily assimilate myself to the society around me it's more along the lines of the thought processes and general caring of others. For the longest time I remained steadfast in my principals until my early twenties where these feelings overwhelmed me and alcohol was the easiest available source of detachment from these feelings. It helped me escape the feeling that there isn't much good in the world and that really me being a good person was just allowing me to be fucked over and that it was sincerely a lost cause to do good in this world. As time progressed my grips weakened with the introduction of consistent marijuana use then eventually within the last 6 years I fully entered the world of psychedelics and never looked back. I have tested various chemical and organic substances none of which appeared to have consumed me or altered my mind other than a state of expansion and oppenness. I do believe now that good people can unite. I do believe that piece is the answer, however I would never allow someone to place harm upon my family. I use the term family loosely because friendship seems so inappropriate when there are quite honestly some 'friends' that have far exceeded the standard expectations of family.

A random story about my feelings on living matter: Once as a very young child (believe around 1st grade) in Reno, NV there was a day where we rode the bus home and older kids began to pick on my friend (a year elder) on the ride. These redneck children were high school age but found choice fun in picking on very young children. I ignored them but my friend with a temper did not. Eventually this lead to them chasing us off the bus. We ran down the road fearing for our lives when I suddenly heard a voice calling me to come... following this with my friend in tow we ended up in a cul de sac. At the end of the road nowhere else to go was a yard FILLED to the brim with a very strange off white "fruit." "Use me to defend yourself" it said "Do not eat me or touch your face. Wash your hands when you are done" I began picking up this strange fruit and lobbing it directly into the high schooler's faces. "What the hell?! He's throwing mushrooms that will kill you run man!!!" I felt infinitely powerful holding this strange fruit... me a small child watching with a growing feeling of strength as a pack of kids many times my size ran away in fear. Never before had I seen these strange fruits but I would always remember them but never see them again until I eventually moved north. Now I am at home with the fungi and they speak to me often. There is no other substance on this planet I have this odd communications with (LSD speaks to me at times... "hey don't forget about me" she reminds me about her power when is most needed but the fungi feels like an old friend) so forever I believe fungi and I are eternally linked.

I appreciate your time and consideration into this introduction, and I hope that I can be of a benefit to this community with my knowledge I have gained. In the scheme of things I know nothing so I am always a student.

Wow, fantastic essay man.

I don't know......there's a lot of evil, ignorance and fear in the world. But there's also a lot of good in places you might not expect to find it. I have my moments as well where I doubt the goodness of this reality. But then something will happen, an experience, a chance encounter that always seems to restore my knowledge of why we're all here. We chose to be.....all for a reason. We're here to learn, to experience and to grow....if we allow ourselves to.

Very choice words thank you for sharing.

Today was an interesting experiment. First time use of LSD + maoi of 100% black currant juice... ingested 3oz approximately half hour before taking just a single dose which normally on it's own produces a nice "head space" that I find very useful in terms of processing my life whilst still being within manageable form to conduct tasks. I went about my business including things on my agenda -- court research. Imagine my surprise having a full blown psychedelic trip upon entering the courthouse. I'm very comfortable in my space and found it quite managable but not the ideal setting. Was expecing a head change while I was working today... not going to be doing much productive other than typing these few sentences then I'm off to juggling... ta Hope to elaborate more but I happened to procure a chocolate mushroom that calls me O_o

Holy crap!...tripping in court?

Just being there is a trip in itself.

It was an experience not to be forgotten nor recommended. A true test of my psychedelic resolve. I feel very comfortable around others even in high dosages but the setting was precarious to say the least... expecting a head change was an understatement but I managed to get my work done and some fire juggling in. All in all a productive day and I still have that chocolate waiting for me. Haven't needed it so far... that's how long that bit has carried me

here's 'Trippin In Court' - Cheech & Chong (1971)..& welcome beandip

Thanks for sharing and the welcome nen888 "I only tried LSD 10 times man..." Eventually I will get my report written up from my first DMT use to share when I get the inspiration. I am randomly reminded at this odd hour of my first motorcycle ride & eviction.

There was a period of time living in the big city that I was fortunate to have a wonderful MDMA connection. All of the pills I received were 100% consistent with online reports & pictures and ridiculously inexpensive provided they were purchased in bulk. There was a period of months where I rolled very frequently (I maintained a proper diet/vitamin intake to receive consistent experiences) and conducted many personal experiments in self exploration during this time.

Early one morning I began my roll by taking a pill and shortly after ingestion I decided that I wished to own a motorcycle. I had already researched the type of beginner bike I was interested in but had delayed this purchase until I could legally get the proper licensing. I poured over the listings and there was one that fit what I was looking for: a Kawasaki Eliminator reasonably priced at 1000$ cash. I emailed the seller and luckily he was quick to respond and was willing to deliver the bike within a few hours during a work break. Shortly before his appearance I popped another pill then went out to meet him, tremendously excited about my new purchase. After some negotiation I also managed to procure all the necessary riding equipment for an additional 200$ which I promptly paid all in cash. In the back of my mind something clicked that I now had the proper means to ride a motorcycle... I promptly asked the man how to start and operate the bike so that I could move it in the parking lot. He gave me a few tips, shook hands, and departed to go about his business.

Impatiently I waited approximately 5 minutes until the gentleman was totally gone then I proceeded to fire up the bike. The sheer feeling of the motorcycle roaring to life was indescribable as I eased myself in and backed out the bike. Slowly I went out of the apartment complex then I turned left and headed towards the country roads. It was my day... no cars to be seen in ANY visible direction. Faster and faster I went increasing speed ever so gracefully as to not lose control of the machine... not a race bike by any means but maxing out at around 80mph on a first ride was nothing short of sheer ecstasy with the combined excitement of knowing I could be caught and jailed at any time having no proper license whatsoever to operate this vehicle. I slowed down to the designated speed and continued along the country road. I lost track of time I have no idea how this long the rest of this ride went but I eventually made my way home, parked the bike in my designated spot then proceeded home to relax. I was so incredibly happy after completing the ride I felt a magnificent accomplishment was achieved this day and hopefully many more to come. I fell in love with that bike...

welcome..you are here for a great reason..i like your spirit.. i feel reminded to pass to you something i read..( healed people heal,hurt people hurt).. open your heart and help heal this world..there is great wisdom and love here.. with that being being said..may you find the understanding you seek and the answers you want....much love and respect...ODEN<3

Oden thank you for your kind words I will certainly heed your advice. I apologize for the delayed response many changes are afoot in my life and I deem it for the better even though my roots have been uplifted it is a chance for new roots.

The first real experience I had with DMT will always be remembered in my mind. I say real experience because prior to this one I had tried a spec of smoked DMT but it was so miniscule there wasn't anything to report and I believe that the situation not being of a spiritual nature was another reasoning behind it.

I was attending a fire festival when I first met Brady & Craig (mind you these are not real names it is merely a reference tool for my story.) It was the second day of the festival and I had woken up early and headed to the beach so that I could call my family because I managed to receive full cell phone reception on the beach in the middle of the woods (somewhat humorous considering I never had any reception in the city whatsoever... go figure.) As I neared the beach I noticed two men sitting in the tea tent at this very odd hour of 6ish am and I recognized from personal experience they must be party goers from the night before. I made my way down to the beach and spoke to my wife and checked in with my son. It was a relief to talk to her since I am rarely away from home and the peaceful scenery of an isolated private beach was therapeutic in itself.

After my phone call I headed back up the hill towards the tea tent as I figured the party the night before was pretty mellow and these guys might just be my new friends. It's funny how the mind works as that's just how things happened... I pulled off my shoes hopping over puddles I grabbed my friend's drum I recognized as left from the night before and sat down next to the two men. An unlikely duo. Craig was very reminiscent of a hippie; bearing a nappy dreaded hair, slightly dreaded beard, and bare feet yet wore full camouflage garb, a sign of a veteran. Brady was a visual opposite; very clean shaven, short hair with matching clothing which made me think that he had a decent paying job or was very acute about his personal appearance. The tea tent itself was a trip; a small indoor palace with intricately hung lights, tables at proper tea service height and many of the intricate accoutrement that would accompany traditional tea service. Currently unmanned by it's owners the three of us were alone with no one else to be seen.

Clearly these men were having a wonderful time taking some sort of psychedelic substances. Their posture and facial expressions were that of utter relaxation with their bodies barely propped up with some of the many decadent surrounding pillows. I immediately felt they were good people but I could also feel their tension as I was a stranger and unless you have "cred" of looking like a fucking bum then usually you have to warm up to this crowd... but I guess it stands for any crowd really because it's better to warm someone up with conversation rather than sticking your ass out like so many clowns out there "Hey this is me now fucking deal with it!" I have no borders mind you... I don't claim just one tribe, I love all those that represent and show love yet I would have no shame in fighting to save those few good people left that are real fucking Americans. I digress... I am terrible at introducing myself partially because I have a hard time remembering names and then there's always those situations where you know someone for too long without knowing their name... that shits real awkward. The guys said how pissed they were that there was no music so I managed to discover through more lengthy conversation that they knew of an ipod somewhere but they couldn't find it. I understand how they felt as it is always unfortunate when you are in a full blown trip where the outer world becomes so complex and those outer world needs tend to distract you from your mental peace that you generally seek. I located the player with built in speakers and asked what type of music they wanted to listen to. Their response was quick but in a slow, based, earthy tone "DUBSTEP." I searched through the player and located some tunes by Rusko, pressed play and sat down adjacent to Brady & Craig. I could clearly see that they lost the tension that I saw when first entering the tent, I was now an ally; bringer of tunes. "So I have to ask as you guys are clearly on one... what did you take?" They looked at each other then burst into laughter, again they spoke in unison "ELLLLL ESSSSSSS DEEEEEEE." I began laughing too then asked them about where they traveled from, and why they made it out to the fire festival. Craig said they were from the same area and that he lived out on a farm but Brady was from the city nearby. Craig said that he came to the fire fest strictly to party and that he had no intentions of juggling or playing with fire. "I smoke weed and I hang out that's my deal." Brady was quick to say that he didn't smoke marijuana because he would be frequently tested at his job with the bank but his reason for coming was to develop his fire poi skills. I asked Craig if he bothered to get his medical card which he did so I reached into my pocket and gave him a small block of hash. I love hash for just this reason because if you can't make friends with a block of hash then you're already fucked. He was clearly excited but also confused as to what to do with the substance so I asked him if he would like to smoke and I would take care of getting it all set up. He was down for this deal and slowly rolled over and pushed over with his foot a large jar of herb. "Load that... you load that and we cannnnnnn smoke it." "You got it bud" I pulled out a large flower and inspected it visually at first then a deep inhale. "Good shit, you grow too?" "Sure do man" at that point he went off on a rant unlike any I had ever heard before in my LIFE. I have a very strong concept of growing, consistently produced A/B quality but this guys mouth blew my fucking mind. He apparently had developed his own strains through breeding but also was going off about how he was working on increasing specific nutrients to bring out the dominant traits if you want mother or father. Never heard that shit before in all of the piles of books that I have read but he had the smoke to prove it and I don't think someone would go through such great lengths to look like a dirt farmer. I de-stemmed the material, piled on as much hash as would sit on the top, then passed the piece to Craig.

He said that I should be warned about him as he is prone to anger, a veteran of the war in Afghanistan he has frequent problems with short term memory due to an explosion that tore up his body. I didn't ask him about the war or his injuries as I figured that can always come later and my curiosity was unimportant as he would tell me what he wanted to in time. He said that he returned from the war depressed, opiates were his crutch and they ate away his once massive 250lb frame. I could tell as he looked as skinny as a rail. He said that he decided to go to OCF and there he took LSD for the first time and it changed his life forever. He dropped all of his old ways, habits and moved with his wife to grow marijuana. Instead of hoarding his funds he receives from the government he now takes OCF virgins to have their lives changed as well. I chimed in with my OCF story as well and how it hand changed my life forever as well and set me on an entirely new path. He chuckled and said he currently had an artist living out there with him that he had convinced to trip for the first time and was now living out on the farm for inspiration. I laughed "Sounds like Hunter Thompson, but without the guns." Craig and Brady chuckled then Craig piped up "Oh there's guns. I go shoot my gun every morning I am a fucking vet and I know how to handle a weapon." He chuckled again "Ever shoot a gun on LSD?" "No I can't say that I have but now that you mention it I bet it's fucking sexy." "You bet your ass man it's like... BOOOOOOOOOM." Brady began to finally speak... it was clear that either he had taken way more LSD than Craig or didn't have the same tolerance as Craig. "It's fun to stay out there but man I can't go there because when I leave I'm fucking high for weeks." Curious I asked "High for weeks? That sounds fun." "No man it's not fucking fun if you're not a stoner it's in the food man." "What's in the food?" "Weed man it's in the food they make." "Why don't you eat something else?" "Because his wife man... she fucking puts it in everything there isn't one damn meal served without weed in it." Craig and I began to laugh heavily and I told him that I make many types of ganja food and would be happy to give him some rice crispies I brought. He immediately perked up "Man yes... yes man... I looooooooove ganja food." (I later saw this was very true as even though I have a strong tolerance to consume 10-15x the normal amount he wolfed down enough rice crispies to take out a god damn elephant.)

I told the gentlemen it was very nice to meet them and that I had to be going to get ready for the day. "Let me know if you find any more of that LSD I would love to get my hands on some." Craig "Got cash?" "Sure I do" as I began to reach for my wallet Craig made a nod to Brady and he slowly stumbled around and handed a small vial to Craig. I asked him "Do you have anything to store some of it on because I'm not going to take it all now?" Craig "Well how much to you need man?" "I was thinking 4 for now and 8 to stash for later." He began laughing and gave me this look as if to say "Are you fucking serious?" but actually said "4 huh? Alright man you go on ahead you seem to know what you're doing but the other 8 well nothing to put it on. I'll be here all weekend you come find me you come find me I'm the man I will be here all weekend man I will be HERE." I laughed and stuck out my left hand to have it placed on the hand between the thumb and pointer finger a method I first learned at OCF. When trying to figure out how to describe it I was looking at my hand and never noticed until now you make an L when doing it... I have to laugh at that. I licked up my puddle, thanked them again, then trotted off to get ready for the day.

great story..loved it..i believe your heart lets you know when someone is not rt.. always be aware of your that.. so glad you had a great time.. i have the look i have because of the people i deal with..i.e disney look.. but i have meet so many that look another way.. that really understood what was important in life.. it teaches not to judge... you write very well.what a gift.. glad your here. glad your happy.. my wish is that you always find what you seek and bring joy to this world as you just did me.. also no sweat on time frame getting back to me..peace and love <3 Oden

Thanks Oden I believe there have been past times where I have a hard time trusting my heart and have a tendency to make up my mind on what is logical. I still have difficulty with determining what is righteous and what is my ego, but this is and always will be ongoing for me as I continue to train myself to think righteously.