Specific phenomena: Severe Back Pain
Dosage/method: 150mg changa with a 1/3 ratio smoked thru a small bong, followed by a second 150mg dosage.
Set en setting: Early morning after staying up all night, had some coffee, a bit tired/yawning. Laying in bed.

Description:

Warning, the following is not a happy story, but worth a laugh in the end

First hit I met The Trickster again, another popular name for this entity/archetype might be Opti nowadays
It took me on a ego rollercoaster this time, showing me and feeding on my deepest desires and lust.
It felt like psychological sex, but it was more teasing/foreplay.
Like a "carrot on a stick" it would tease me with symbols that would trap me more and more in its web of pleasure.
At some point i was offered/shown the most extreme pastry, pink glaced cream pie.
Which, in the trip itself, reminded me of someones trip report here on the nexus.
I was played like an instrument, made into a slave of pleasure and desire, there was no escape.
When i slowly came back to earth, i knew there was more to be told, sometimes it tells you to come back sometimes it won't.

So i took my second hit, and was pulled back to it. The punchline was coming.
I was shown now what was the cause for my strange human desires.
It was pain, it was damage, occult complexes... stuff that i thought i had let go already but i obviously didn't.

Basicaly i experienced all the traumatic events in my life again,
and due to the powers of dmt, it was all there, feelings, time, sounds, vision, smell, everything.
Then i had this, oww-fuck-i-need-to-pee feeling, yeh the one that is oww so familiar to other changa users, i had it before,
"actually" said The Trickster " you had this alot of times..." And indeed it was true.

When i was young there where several occasions i was psychologically forced by adults to piss my pants lol. yeh im laughing now but...
Once when i was young i was send to the hallway as a punishment (psychiatric institute), i had to pee really bad,
they wouldn't allow me back in, so i desperately tried not to pee, real panic, pissed my pants, felt humiliated,
Same happened at christian school later on, wasn't allowed to go, wet pants in the middle of the class...
Then flashes of more humiliation i experienced in life came by, sexual abuse when i was young wich explains my sexual complexity,
psychological and physical abuse by my stepfathers, punchline was... that i was delicious... i was a sort of delicious pastry for The Trickster, we all are!
i was filled with yummy yummy pain, self pity, drama and emotion that The Trickster had been eating all my life... platform? society Goal? food!

At that point i needed to pee so bad i just had to get up and go while i was tripping. and when i stood up, still heavy traumatized and full of tears,
this extreme back pain explodes in my lower back. Still needing to pee, i ran to the sink, i managed to squeeze 100ml out of me...
came back to the living room to experience this heavy back pain for about 5 mins, i was realy scared i had gotten a hernia or something permanent,
however, as i came back to baseline, the visuals and the pain slowly faded away,
leaving behind a completely raped soul but totally cleaned from leftover drama and pain by our friendly parasite

Feeling very good now psychologically, maybe now i truly have let go?!?! my back posture is better now too and it had been hinting on that since trip 1
My only question now is, is it merely a answer to a food source we create for it, or is it tricking us in generating food for it to consume.
in other words, am i being farmed or am i just part of the food chain

I've had all kinds of weird physical hallucinations manifest on DMT including severe pain in my lungs which has caused me to stop breathing(then I died, or so it seemed...), as well as the sensation of a torch being held up to my skin and it melting away when I had sunburns. I don't think anybody could tell you why this happens. I would just say it's normal and part of the very weird process that we do.

Yeah, with D impossible is normal.

haxxorz,

Wow, great trip report. Thank you so much for sharing this. I really appreciate the openness and honesty of DMT-Nexus psychonauts. This is the kind of trip report that would make a therapist honestly interested in helping their client with breakthroughs orgasm in their slacks.

I too have been dancing with Opticus.

I envision it as not truly real, but as a very, very powerful meme and fantasy that has been let loose to squirm and party within my mind.

My early encounters with it . . . I didn't have a name, but I wrote a lot about thought forms, thought parasites, thought symbiotes and psychic vivesections. I feel I know where you have been. Including the huge vivesection that resulted with me being suspended, paralyzed in a playroom with lots of crazy hyperspatial distractions being thrown my way as I was ripped apart.

Letting the fantasy, meme run free here, I'll say that Opticus has finished that part of its work/feeding on me. I don't know this for a fact but it feels like it really helped. See the word symbiote is so much more appropriate than parasite. The feeding leaves the material intact, yet brings it to the surface - Opticus accomplishes in minutes what it takes therapists months or years to dig down to in my opinion.

I'm so sorry that part of this had to manifest as severe pain for you. I am aware of things like this happening to other psychonauts, including my husband once getting "set on fire."

I think those of us who get infected by the Opticus meme have it play out in whatever way makes the most personal sense to us. It's tricky, yes, but it doesn't need to be tricky to feed. That is just part of its' fundamental nature. At least that is my strong sense. So I would suggest you are not being farmed, . . . . rather you are being welcomed into various versions of its' playroom, fed upon, and spit out feeling raped/vivesected yet cleansed, healed, improved of posture, etc. I encourage you to take advantage of this, treat it as a priveledge/opportunity. You have been opened wide. Be willing to look at this material and how it may have affected you throughout your life. This will allow you to not only let it go but to embrace it as part and parcel of what makes you the wonderful being that you are today.

Just a little "Monday Morning Armchair" psychology from a woman who dances with Opticus.

Peace & Love