(I've read that we aren't to try and meet up with each other via the forum. I'm not trying to do that.)

Every time I smoked DMT around my girl friend, she would look at me like I'm some sort of science project. So I had to stop smoking around her. I wait until the house is quite and then partake. Only thing is when I come back, I want to talk/tell/just get it all out and I have no one to talk too. I understand that I can come here or I could go into chat, but it would feel so much nicer to have that conversation in person.

I tried to talk to her about what I experienced tonight, but she doesn't really understand why I even want to learn about DMT. So this makes it hard to relate the experiences to her. She had a bad acid trip years before we met and swore off all psychedelics. I feel that is where most of the problem comes from.

Any one else have this problem?

So here is what I did tonight. I smoked two bowls of Caapi leaf and then drank a cup of White Sage tea. I love that tea. I'm always very relaxed by the end of the cup. I went out side with a blanket, my pipe, and a small container of Changa(Calea Zacatechichi one to one with DMT). I loaded a small bowl of Changa as I wrapped my self in the blanket. Right before my first inhale I spoke aloud, "I will let the light shine on me and I will walk behind the medicine." It's kind of a reminder to me to not try and control what I'm shown.

It was a small toke. I like to ride Changa right up to the edge. Once I've seen the edge, I decide from there, if I will go over or not. It's more comfortable than freebasing out of the machine.

Before every hit I would tell myself silently, "I will let the light shine on me and I will walk behind the medicine." While I was at the lower levels, I was watching a tree in front of me. I was in awe at how large the trunk gets to support little leaves. To support the little air filters it grows. All the while the trunk comes from a different filter, the roots. I watched as light pinks and purples warped my sense of where each leaf began and the next one ended.

I closed my eyes at one point and watched many images be constructed and deconstruct into some thing else. My mind was trying to make sense of what it was seeing and was putting the colors into different forms I could relate to a physical object, albeit very abstract versions of those objects. Sorry it is hard to remember what they were.

Another small toke and my CEVs were overlaying onto what I could see with my eyes open. I was just being. I was just experiencing it. All of a sudden I realized I was holding a pipe and I realized I had smoked DMT. I let my self come down and I went inside to my Girl Friend. She was awake watching TV in bed. I felt the need to talk about it, but I knew she wouldn't respond like some one here would have. It's quite sad that I've seen beauty that has brought me to tears, but I can't communicate it well enough for her to understand.

..the one who sees is often the outcast..and yes many criticise what they fear..be strong in your truth and hopefully your loved ones will feel you..
the only 'gurus' i accept anymore are plants or animals...

no alan watts?! D:

have you no friends or family members who aren't terrified of entheogens?
maybe some of them would like to try?
no guru, but is a human for conversations who can understand.
sometimes you can learn more about a subject just by teaching it

In some translations of the word guru I believe it points toward yourself, or your "higher self", which is just a metaphor for we.all.know.what.

+

True. I've met close to 100 "gurus" in india and some of them were followed by other people including westerners. And in the end I've found it's kind of like shell game as T. Mckenna described.

Only guru is inside yourself and the plants can be great tools for opening the door for the guru.

I can relate in terms of coming down and needing to talk to someone about it. My roommates usually weren't the best to talk to cause in their mind, DMT could be "cool, but was just a drug." I had other friends that I would sometimes call up or anxiously wait to talk to. Now I always journey with my brother so I have him to talk to, but I can empathize that it can be distressful to see some of the greatest beauty and witness some of the most mind blowing phenomena and not having someone around to talk to who can take you seriously. But then, I do come on here and try to get people to listen to me if I feel I've stumbled upon something novel or important.

A true guru will try to stop you from doing psychedelics and drugs. Meditation and Self-awareness are the only "tools" one needs!

Thank you all for the input. However, I was using the word guru more in the western sence of the word. Some one who has been there and done that. Some one that is good at what they do. I should have known better than to use that word, in that context, on this board!

I more meant I wish I knew some one from the boards that has been around the block a few times.

I don't know any one that is on board for DMT...

You don't need a "guru," you need a more understanding, open minded girlfriend. And get that TV out of the bedroom! Sheesh, make a sacred space where you can smoke in comfort, not having to smoke outside like a leper lest you disturb your girl's closed mind.

Aside: "A true guru will try to stop you from doing psychedelics and drugs. Meditation and Self-awareness are the only "tools" one needs!" And what is a "true" guru? There's some "shamans" in the Amazon who'd disagree (and here we have sticky definitions: what is the difference between a guru and a shaman? It's all just word play and titles). Perhaps a "true guru" would be hiding in plain sight because a "true guru" would realize we're all here taking a pretty cool ride and defining oneself as above the masses or having some secret answer to it all or a new trick to "enlightenment" is laughable to the point of absurdity.

Yeah, a guru that hasn't "had it on" with the psychedelic experience!
A guru that would say that some people wouldn't need some plant assistance definately doesn't know any better.



I feel like you can easily be your own guru and take it slowly and learn everything you want to by yourself.

And of course, you can post any thoughts and questions on this board or PM any member if you want to speak with someone "who's been around the block a few times".

The guru trip is one down the road of dogma, that I never wish to take. I dont need some dogmatic guru telling me what to do.

I've throwen all religons to the side. I think any one that claims to have the answer is trying to make money or screw people over. All i really was doing was expressing my desire to have a DMT buddy. Would rather have that person, have more trips under their belt than me.

I used the word, guru, in a fashion most people on this board seemly don't use it in. I can make up my own mind about things. I don't need to be shown how to live. I just was wondering if other people were in my shoes.

As for getting a girl friend that is more open minded, thats rude to judge her on the small amount of information you have. we aren't married becuase we think thats a stupid idea, yet we have a family together. We trust, respect, and love each other. Just becuase she doesn't understand my desire or reasons, doesn't make her closed minded.

I wish people would read the whole thread before posting, as i cleared up my meaning of guru in my last post.

I don't want to come off as rude. I did'nt mean guru like it's taken here. I meant guru as it's listed on 2c of this page http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/guru

Reosed, you should have used then another word that describes your point better, such as "DMT buddy".

As I said earlier, you can share anything about it here, here you can find many people who can advice and help you on your way.

Language is a crappy tool for communicating. I mean no disrepect. I'll watch my words better around here and try not to use too much slang.

I go outside to smoke becuase it just feels better. I've only smoked indoors a few times. This comes from my past with lsd. I don't feel like a leper in my own home.

Thanks again to every one that replied. I think we are all on the same page about Guru's not being helpful and even being harmful in some cases.

Reosed

I think I must be missing something. I don't know what he said that was wrong with "DMT buddy".

I don't know man , sorry for saying this but it does not sound very respectful if she would not listen to your experiences. Why wouldn't she want to know ?

I am really sorry you haven't got anybody close to understand your way , your path but as others said you can always come here.

Alan Watts on Lots of Stuff, relevant at 3:00.

Also: If you ever feel the need to express yourself, or if you just fancy the company of like minds, jump into the chat room via the link near the top of the page.

"DMT buddy" I said is a better description than "guru" to make his point/for this topic. As "guru" seems to make people think about different kind of person.
You misunderstood that I said there was something wrong with "dmt buddy"
As he said himself:

Thanks for clearing that up. Knew I had to be missing something