I want to start this post by saying I have no intention of killing myself.

I first was turned on by acid 3 years ago, dmt about 7 months ago... and they both made me realize that death is nothing to fear.

But I just thought i would post this to see if anyone understands where im coming from....

For me, when I trip, I treasure my life and understand how lucky I am to have free will, but it also shows me that I have no reason to fear dying and I would go on to say that death is the next level of life from what I have experienced.

But its been a long time since I have done psychedelics and even after what I have learned from them, I still contemplate just moving to the next level when i drink. Mostly when I'm stressed out (with college, money, relationships, etc.) I really don't know why I decided to post this other than the fact that im curious if others feel the same way about it. When I drink i think about tripping a lot, and when I do I feel as if it would be so easy to just end my life now and not worry about the consequences because I would end up in such a better place than where I am now. Again I have no intention of ending my life, its just been a long time since I have tripped and whenever I drink a good amount of alchohol everything points to just ending it just to go on to the next level.

I guess the reason im posting this is because I have become fascinated with the fact that alchohol makes death seem so much less serious than it already is... I think about this all the time when im drunk, its like it would be so easy to just end it all now, but the human survival instinct keeps us from doing it. But when you are drunk, to me its like "fuck it, if i end it now i will be in such a better place than I am". Again, I want to say i have no intention of killing myself. I just want to see if anyone else understand where I am coming from when you drink. I feel like drinking makes it so much easier to be able to kill oneself. Does anyone understand where I am coming from?

Less alcohol, Moar DMT... that is all.

Belay my last. Also:
"Mama always said, Alcohol is as Alcohol does."

I wouldn't necessarily say that drinking for me brings on suicidal thoughts, but I sure as hell become angry, depressed and other negative mind states when drinking, almost without fail. Once I recognized this, it was pretty easy to pretty much stop drinking (not an alcoholic and never had an alcohol problem). I'm a much happier person without alcohol to drag me down.

giver of will,

Thank you for sharing your feelings in this post. It could not have been easy.

You know alcohol is a depressant, right? In more ways than one, imo. Also, it seems to remove users' inhibitions. Keeping in mind what you just posted, I would seriously recommend you consider abstaining from alcohol usage at any levels (other than perhaps cooking?) due to this effect you are experiencing.

Also, though I'm no expert at all, especially in technique, it sounds to me like maybe you might benefit from meditation.

Finally, if you haven't tried it yet, I would like to personally recommend banisteriopsis caapi ayahuasca brews. The amount of healing to be found in this drink amazed me. Personally, it helped me work through a lot of emotional stuff that was holding me back AND helped with some serious digestive issues.

I wish you nothing but,

Peace & Love

I have to wonder what kind of setting your drinking in.
Is this during social drinking, or do you drink at home by yourself?
Either way, it could be the way it's affecting your judgement. I think alcohol makes a lot of things easier, like sex that actually wasn't a good idea.

I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Life goes through phases. Sometimes it's good, sometimes its not. You learn from the bad times. You are going to die eventually, there's really no need to speed up the process. I think it's natural to have these thoughts, but alcohol is only going to make it worse because it distorts your perception on things. I used to do crazy, crazy things on alcohol, that I would never do not under its influence, and once I realized this I stopped drinking it completely and personally I found this to be very beneficial. You may want to take a break and see what you can do improve your outlook on life. Maybe instead of having a beer, having a cup of b. caapi tea? I wish you well, giver of will.

I do both, I really have the best life I could have ever been offered, I love it to the fullest and psychedelics have helped me realize that. It's just they have also showed me a doorway to the next level and whenever I become overwhelmed and stressed It just seems as if it would be easier to just take it to the next level. Of course, I have no intention of doing so. I have a great life, it just blows my how when I drink I feel so comfortable with taking my life. I dont want to scare anyone at all, because there is no way I am going to do this. I guess the reason I posted this is to see if anyone else understands where I am coming from with this.

I no longer drink to get drunk. After many years as a youth(legal age I might add) and spending time with friends seeing who could finish the bigger bottle, I just can't do it. Not only that but I don't want to either. Booze makes me angry and sad in large amounts. It's caused me to lose control of myself, making a total ass of myself and ruined great friendships. I will from time to time have a beer with friends on a sunny afternoon but have not been drunk in a few years now. I just feel like a total jerk and it's actually made me feel quite embarrassed even just being drunk having done nothing wrong to make me feel that way. After realizing this a while back it has made me damn near quit drinking simply for the fact I don't get any enjoyment from the substance. Just my experience, probably irrelevant but heh..

When I did drink, it was the same. I would become severely depressed and negative. Then I would get extremely ill for days afterwards. Found out that I have an enzyme deficiency and I can't drink alcohol at all. I wish I could say that it helps, having that to tell people, but they still think I'm weird for not having a beer or getting drunk. Makes socializing very difficult sometimes.

Anyway, even when I did drink, I would get suicidal. Even attempted it once while drunk. I'm glad those days are far behind me. I find it hard to understand how people enjoy drinking at all. How they get all giggly and laugh and joke around and have a good time. I was never like that. All it did to me was make me extremely sad and negative about my life, and give me the worst sickness I've ever experienced.

Psychedelics, on the other hand, I find very agreeable.

Alcohol can make me feel awful if i drink during the day. But a glass of red wine in the evening after a nice meal can be quite relaxing. I think if you feel alcohol makes you feel negative then you should avoid it, and do something more positive instead.
I do find that the outdoors and intense exercise helps me though, and sometimes it's a good idea to take a break from the forums, because digesting all the latest bad new from the press, etc, isn't great either.

Having lived in a house with an alcoholic Dad and Brother, I can definitively say that, yes, alcohol does make people depressive, argumentative, stubborn, irrational, and not much fun in the long run. I still drink, but only ever in moderation because I love the taste of beer, wine and rum. I steer clear of whiskey for instance because that has a tendency of flicking a switch in my brain that makes me a complete c**t. Normally I am a very open minded and considerate person - on whiskey I am the total opposite, and I don't like that about myself. I would personally agree with others that you need to re-think your drinking habits if it is having this effect. I only ever drink 1 - 3 drinks in a session now, and only ever go over that ocassionally, which works well at keeping the inner dick at bay.



Maybe this is why our political leaders are such war-mongering arseholes? After all, I bet a good 50% of them are alcoholics...

Yeah alcohol is just what's needed to keep up to the goals of twisted politicians. It's up to you to judge what the goals seem to be.

I know of one person who was an alcoholic and committed a suicide and another person who tried, but luckily failed. And after talk with him, I'm sure he wouldn't even have thought of it without the magnificent solvent drinks called "alcoholic beverages". It's no wonder a solvent can make person sick in the body and mind.

Yes I know what you mean. That period has gone from my life now, that's why it's important to not act on such impulses.
A big % of people who commit suicide have large amount of alc. in their system, it supresses quite effectively the fear processing centre in the brain.
In any situation drunk or otherwise it takes a lot of balls to kill yourself.

Sounds like you could give it a rest for a while. Go back to better things? DDDDDDDDDMMMMMMMTTTTTTTT

haha, thanks for the responses guys. I rarely become depressed when I drink though, its usually just curiosity that brings up the suicidal impulse. The only problem drinking has given me is a DUI last summer (GOD DAMN IT). I dont think I need a rest from drinking, i just wanted to see you guy's responses about the subject. But yea, I would love DMT to come into my life again

In terms of drugs, I find alcohol to be just a horrible drug of choice..it's on par with solvent abuse. It basically is solvent use. I wont judge people who want to drink..but alcohol is one of the worst drugs out there, ranked more dangerous than crack and more toxic than heroin. Alcohol is no benign substance. I have watched my grandfather drink in excess every sinlge day I have been around him in all my 27 years on this planet. The guy is a mess. I have watched other friends drink themselves into dark holes and end up living on the street just sort of riding the edge of death at the moment. I dont even find it enjoyable..for me alcohol is definatily one of the most discusting substances I have used to alter my consciousness..I get sick and feel poisoned every time. Last time I drank was probly 2 years ago almost.

Perform some simple chemistry! <3

That is strange; I find alcohol to be one of the most supreme entheogenic substances in my inventory. Of course there are alcohol-related horror stories around but this tells not much; You clearly need to know how to use it alcohol and of course, moderation is key (just as with everything of course!).

I no longer drink alcohol, at all. The thought of drinking it sickens me.

I understand that many people can drink it responsibly throughout their lives without incidence.

I happen to work inthe field of emergent healthcare. I get a first hand look at the damage that alcohol does on society as a whole. Its huge people and it costing all of us allot of money. Alcohol related costs are incurred everywhere. Health care, Insurance industry, courts system, lost production in our manufacturing sectors, just to name a few.

Amazing that our government stands so strongly behind alcohol and tobacco and yet we have hundreds of thousands of people in jail for marijuana charges.


I know allot of you out there enjoy alcohol and drink responsibly.

I would love to see alcohol outlawed and cannabis legalized.

lol

It's funny...

The main reason I don't drink alcohol more frequently are the health implications. When under the influence it can enhance my mood and increase fluidity of thinking.

However, when I am feeling down, it can make me feel a little better. There have been periods of my life where I indulged too much in this mechanism and things don't get any better long term, one hand feeds the other, then you definately have to rethink the user substance relationship. In those times, only sobriety increased probability of suicidal thoughts.

I tried the whole moderation thing, but it didn't work for me. The only way I can seem to get along with the stuff is if I use it quite infrequently.

Also try not to drink alone. For me, alcohol is the only substance for which I require a sitter. The experience is usually for positive and also as I found, when I drink alone I need more to feel the benefit. Psychologically, I think that's actually quite an interesting point.

But anyways... The stuff's no good ol' h2o!

ethyl alcohol, or ethanol, commonly known as simply alcohol, is actually just one type of alcohol, for which there are many.
the reason people tend to drink ethanol over all other types of alcohol is that ethanol is the LEAST poisonous of the alcohols, but what many people, the vast majority of people dont realise is that ethanol IS A POISON, and it has many many detrimental effects.

i was researching some australian stats the other day, and there is a stat that i think is quite conservative, are you ready... 1 in 8 people aged 14 years and older, meet the criteria for having an alcohol consumption disorder, most commonly, alcohol abuse (including binge drinking) and alcohol dependence.
i actually think this stat is quite low, and i'd imagine many other places in the world would have a much higher number of people who meet this criteria, definitely the US, as well as many others.

it's baffling how ignorant most people are to all the negative effects of alcohol, even with all the education there's supposed to be about it. i used to be one of these ignorant people, i was very naive, i drank because it was the normal thing to do, i had no idea something that was so socially acceptable could be so harmful, and i think that alcohol consumption is one of the most socially accepted activities within the western world.

from the age of 13 i was binge drinking, this continued for several years, but as i started becoming an adult (legally..) i began to see how crazy this lifestyle is, seeing what people do to themselves, for basically no other reason than just to fit in (unless of course some physical and/or psychological dependence has developed, plus some other things including escapism, i use hyperbole, there are always exceptions...), and so many of these people will be against "drugs". "only idiots take drugs" "nah drugs are fucked" "i dont take drugs" are just a few of many mantras of many people who meet the criteria for having an alcohol consumption disorder.

if people could only take a step back and objectively take a look at their life, and objectively look at society as a whole, then perhaps they could see how crazy this phenomena really is.

"oh man i have the worst hangover" "i feel like death" "i have an assignment due tomorrow but i feel sick from last night" "i really want 'X item', but i have no money"
um, can i just say something... why dont you stop drinking, even if only for a month, a week, a night... dont complain about having a hang over when you brought it on yourself, you cant afford something but you spend on average $200 a week on alcohol and going out while drinking, not including the special events where it is required to get extra drunk (christmas, birthday, friends' birthdays, sporting events, public holiday, etc etc) but no you cant say this to anyone "stop drinking?! what?! are you fucking crazy?!"

yes, I AM crazy.

there is so much more i could say on this issue, but i am procrastinating...

i feel bad about how ignorant the world is about so many important things, especially about "drugs", i'm not trying to be better then everyone else, i'm sure there are infinitely more things i am ignorant about then things for which i have some knowledge.

i'm not attacking the OP in any way in this post, my hope is that perhaps i can raise people's aware about this issue, though i am sure that many people on this forum are already very aware about this issue.

i agree with many others in this thread, i think perhaps the OP should reduce their alcohol consumption, but i really think it would be a good idea to at least do some more reading, in particular (and in order of relevance to the OP) binge drinking, short term effects of alcohol, long term effects of alcohol, alcohol abuse, alcohol dependence

please educate yourself, and thank you.

by the way, in the past i have had very serious suicidal ideations, the only thing stopping me from ending my life, i would tell myself, was thinking about the impact that would cause to my friends and family, and this was just unacceptable, this was literally the only thing keeping me going, i was in an extremely dark place, it was hell, my life is very different now, and i truly have entheogens to thank as THE catalyst for turning my life around.

i wish you all the best.